In which the pond can't escape the polar Barners' vortex ...

How the pond wishes that the Barners affair was done and dusted. 

The reptiles are completely distracted …look, there's the bromancer at it, when he should be doing a normal day's work, finding gold in the doings of the Donald …

Oh sure the Terrorists tried, thanks to good old jolly Joe wanting to sell off the Hunters Hill farm …

… but the opinion pages were full of it, with the Bolter hoping that either Barners or Malware had to go … and oh frabjous day, call ooh, cal lay, he chortled in his joy, perhaps he could persuade Malware to take the long walk, and do the high jump …

In the old days, the pond would have reverted to the Major Mitchell, that squawking galah, the man who keeps talking about his deep understanding of capitalism, while running a newspaper at a substantial loss for years, propped up by pay television …

But the Major has, in a fit of pique, in a state of high dudgeon, taken his bat and ball and retreated behind the paywall … though if anyone wants, they only have to google …

… to find someone else burbling at how social media has hijacked our brains and threatens global democracy … (some browsers might dislike the link)

Besides, the notion that the Major is in the grip of critical thinking is such an absurd premise, the pond couldn't even get a plot for a super hero movie out of it …

So it just had to be the bromancer doing Barners, and in a way that's a relief.

The bromancer has been so uxorious about the Donald of late that the pond had begun to worry that he might not be able to get up a column about anything else …

Phew, what a relief. For a moment there, the pond thought that the bromancer might have recanted, but no, the Donald's policies so far have been pretty good … and remember Hillary shares as much of the blame as the Donald for all the pussy groping and sleeping with porn stars and Playmates that's been going around …

But then the pond had a bone to pick with the lizards of Oz, because they used this as the second illustration for the romancer's piece …

Sad really … as noted on The Insiders, there was a spiffing snap worth celebrating …

  

Alex Ellinghausen twitters his snaps here, and it gave the pond the strength to finish the bromancer, who shows every sign of having been driven barking mad by the Donald …

Appear to be heading?

Say that again: Appear to be heading??

Is it true? Have the reptiles and conservatives been in the bitter swamp of mindless division for so long that they never understood they were standing in it? A bit like a cow in the back paddock with its hind hoof in a pat?

A bit like the romancer's astonishing capacity to separate out the Donald's policies - allegedly good, when in reality a disaster - while bemoaning his pygmy stature - a disaster, and in reality a disaster …

And it turns out that such is Kev's hatred of Malware, that, just like the onion muncher, the urge to use it to flay Malware proved to be irresistible … because that's what swamp dwellers do ...bite, and goad, and with a bit of luck, devour …

Impossible to police?

But Alan Moir explained the guidelines succinctly and clearly here …

The pond is ever so pleased that Kev has now declared that pollies, and by extension, everyone else can fuck like rabbits, and all this talk of the sanctity of traditional marriage is so much horse shit, and by the way why don't the Nationals keep Barners, and the Liberals bring back the onion muncher, because the onion muncher and Kev the pious family man did wonderful things for the country ...

How the hell do you police it?

Why, there's Kev saying ministers can have sexual relations with another member of parliament, another minister or staff in another office … sheesh if only that pair in Mark McArdle's office had known, come on down Cheryl and Gareth, Kev the pious has given the nod ...

Let everyone fuck like rabbits, or the next thing you know, we'll be having the Pat solution ...