Okay, the pond apologises for that interruption by the Oreo … it recognises it needs to set things right. Too many treats on a Friday and the body goes to seed...
The pastie hastie has spoken, there's trouble brewing in the west, the cock has crowed at least once and might do it thrice in Washington, and things are looking grim for Barners, and the reptiles and the pond are on the case, and it's time to get down with it …
The pastie hastie has spoken, there's trouble brewing in the west, the cock has crowed at least once and might do it thrice in Washington, and things are looking grim for Barners, and the reptiles and the pond are on the case, and it's time to get down with it …
Cue sound of gramophone needle scratching across an LP, in a way designed to delight fluff-gathering hipsters …
Hang on, hang on, what's this guv'nor at the top of the lizard Oz digital edition?
Why it's the guv'nor himself, and he knows about winning, and there was the pond thinking it was the Donald who knew about winning …
The pond never gets tired of winning, and it had an immediate win when it looked up the onion muncher's contribution, and came across this poignant google juxtaposition …
The departed? He's not the fuckin' rat?
Well what's this fuckin' rat then?
Oh it's too rich, and the pond hasn't even begun the reading, but hey nonny no, on we go …
What a team player. Another classic example of no sniping, no undermining, no rat finking, no double dealing, no wrecking, no bitterness, no wormwood, no gall, no bile, no nothing …
How kind of him to overlook the bromancer claiming he was 100% wrong … and yet, the onion muncher quickly ran out of steam, and the reptiles felt the need to bolster his rather slim piece of narcissist self-praise and aggrandisement by throwing a couple of large photos into the second gobbet ...
Oh that last one's a most unfortunate snap, isn't it?
It reminded the pond of a recent piece of artwork …
Of course the onion muncher had a go at ScoMo the other day as well, and for a brief moment was at the top of the lizard Oz digital offerings …
But there's only so much of the onion muncher anyone should be expected to absorb on any given day …
The pond feels it must reassure the onion muncher that his position at the top of the pond is safe for the moment … no need to be such a vainglorious try hard, no need to make a meal of it.
This is something the reptiles have yet to learn …
You see, they were at it again today with a most curious phenomenon. Apparently it's never enough to just run the onion muncher's piece.
They have to produce a parrot, who can faithfully parrot everything the onion muncher has already scribbled in his fury ...
Yes, hapless Geoff Chambers was the parrot for the day, trying to give gravitas to the scribblings of the aggrandising narcissist …
It seems it's impossible to offer a photo of the man which doesn't hint at a sinister sneer, or perhaps a leer, or a smirk, or a raised eyebrow of condescension …
But now on with the faithful parrot doing his parroting, though sadly, like the onion muncher himself, the Canberra bureau chief couldn't get much juice from the lemon …
And in case you've forgotten, here's what the parrot looks like as he begins his parroting ...
Even by the standards of vacuous reptile journalism, this is surely the most vacuous, useless, comprehensively repetitive waste of space produced this year …
By golly, even when the reptiles used to faithfully regurgitate press releases, and dress it up as actual copy, they at least managed to slip in a line or two that hinted at originality or research or … well, something, just bloody something that was different from the lines being diligently copied down and regurgitated in the manner of an owl wanting to get rid of rat bones …
Never mind, it reminded the pond how much the reptiles still had a fond regard for the onion muncher, how they still saw him as a national treasurer, how sitting down and repeating his lines in a mantra was a bit like the medieval monks given the job of doing illustrated bibles on vellum …
And it got the pond to thinking of how the onion muncher would in due course be missed, once he'd finished his days as a wannabe larrikin Billy Hughes, and somebody out Warringah way screeched 'oh for god's sake, enough of this shit …'
What joy the onion muncher brought to the heart and the world with his knighthoods and his budgie smugglers. Where would cartoonists of the Rowe kind have been without him?
Lesser folk, urgently ferreting around for smaller, less distinguished rats …
There's fresher Rowe here, but the pond felt the urge to wander down memory lane … such sweet, sweet memories ...
Hi Dorothy
ReplyDeleteI admire your ability to keep up the pace with the reptiles. Their need to keep up with the goings on of their puppets.
Well - the Beetrooter has gone. I guess that means Abbott will now get the attention he craves.
ReplyDeleteThe efforts to dislodge this particular barnacle turned up a whole lot of facts that were hardly secret but don't normally get a run in the press. Graft, corruption, pork-barrelling - none seem to matter until they were attached to a suitably salacious tale.