The lure of the Donald is strong, and the pond is willing to line up for that Seth Meyer movie any day - what an incredibly brave man he is - but the pond was distracted when it noticed a disturbing tendency amongst the reptiles on domestic matters …
Oh please Troy don't be coy, tell us what you really think.
Now some pushback came from the usual source, a man with all the gravitas, wit and vision of an angry old man frequently prone to shouting at clouds …
But the real pushback was given a heavy push by the reptiles …
Oh no, Barners only a few days gone, his ashes still warm, and they send in an assassin to revile Caesar and praise Brutus?
And even worse, one with a Messiah tendency, and a way of looking at agrarian socialists as if they're a flock of sheep in need of an ideal shepherd?
Uh huh, already they're poking and prodding at the ashes, so that the new leader might be glorified and placed in an exalted position somewhere near god …a god unfairly treated and much maligned, just a humble dweller in an eastern suburbs mansion …
Come, let us all worship and adore the new shepherd ...
An heroic shot of the new fearless leader, and talk of Australians being sick of the Barners style of leadership, and his role in the political soap opera of Canberra - drain the swamp, drain the swamp - and newly factionalised Nationals divided by personality, populism and ambition … and with Barners off to the backbench to brood … and this is the way to start the new regime, with the cat knocking the urn off the mantelpiece and pissing in the ashes?
There's no way back from that start. You don't go kicking around the old guard unless the new guard senses an ongoing threat and future peril, and wants the ashes back in a lead-lined casket …
But first let the flowers be flung, the orations begun, the new leadership hailed ...
A Coalitionist? A constructive and seamless partnership, unlike that dreadful Barners chappie?
The pond couldn't resist flinging in a Pope cartoon a little early, at the risk that people might rush off for more Pope here, and miss the final few lines from this blessed Mitchell (not the major) ...
You see, the clue that paranoia's afoot in the Nats came with that immortal line:
It is a secondary concern that the Nationals' leader be a household name.
Put it another way:
It is a secondary concern that the Nationals' leader is a nonentity, a person of no account, a cipher, a nothing, an unimportant person, a small fry, a lightweight, a generic no name brand on the bottom supermarket shelf ...
What better way to get brand recognition than to stir the pot, give Barners a kicking, and call the new hero a circuit breaker?
Now the pond knew all this was extremely significant stuff because the reptiles gave it their full and proper attention.
In the usual reptile way, it wasn't enough that this Mitchell came out to stir the waters and frighten the possums, and bless the sheep with a new shepherd, the reptiles had to shout it all over again from the rooftops with an EXCLUSIVE …
Hmm, how to start off the piece?
Well we've already done the glorifying photo of the glorious new shepherd, ready to tend his flock of sheep.
How about a classic shot of a sweaty Barners, pulling a funny face in the inimitable way only a Barners could manage … what a loon, how was he ever a leader? Always trying to score a spot on the pond banner, what a try-hard Tamworth dropkick, ready go downmarket Armidale ...
Oh dear they're not finished with Barners, they're still piling on …
What a tragedy it is, and with the pond with a fresh supply of Donald cartoons sitting on the shelf and going to waste.
Oh heck one won't hurt …
As for the rest, the punch line comes right at the end ...
He didn't rule anything in, but he didn't rule anything out?
The beast might rise again and slouch once more towards Canberra and disturb the new shepherd as he tends his flock?
Kill the beast …hail the new shepherd … sheep, line up here … oh and kill the Barners beast … and for that, how about we import a man with exceptional courage and a willingness to perform incredible feats of bravery?
Maybe we should see if we could get the ABC to resume 'Kindergarten of the Air' and broadcast it exclusively to current and wannabee politicians to see if we can get them to actually grow into adults of some kind. Hopefully some time before the Clown Circus takes over completely.
ReplyDeleteOn "tell us what you really think"...
ReplyDelete'As a baseline, rudeness is bad. But as a weapon, it’s vital. Rudeness is the proper option when polite entreaties for sanity are ignored. I am very rude online to people. I have regrets about how I’ve deployed this rudeness, but I do not regret being rude to those who have continually demonstrated that they do not deserve such courtesies. Ivanka Trump shouldn’t be able to fly in public without getting an earful from her fellow passengers. Your local GOP Congressman shouldn’t be able to stage a town hall without residents openly telling him to go fuck himself.'
https://www.gq.com/story/on-rudeness