In which the pond stays loyal to Dame Slap, despite many convincing distractions ...

Before getting down to serious business, the pond wanted to pause to admire the wording in that reptile splash, "for the first time since that fiery phone call next week."

Splendid stuff, and for the first time since that legendary blog posting next week, the pond can feel the readership surging ...

It set the tone for the diligent, reliable reporting by that most excellent hack, the urbane 'Becca, always on hand to spot and bully lesbians, gays, TG folk, and ... why feminists of course, infiltrating like perverted pinko commies into schools ...

Eek, hairy armpit feminists, possibly in overalls and wearing boots, and even worse in a collective. Could matters get any direr? What next, ritual rich-bashing?

It's easy to see why the pond feels, on any given reptile day, a deep sense of abundant riches, only matched by a deep sense of exhaustion and depression.

But the pond is loyal, and so this is Dame Slap day, even if there was a cruel juxtaposition to be made ...

Cory steals a rabble of Xian fundamentalists to give himself street cred, and is rewarded by Dame Slap encouraging voters to raise the finger?

She urges the raising of finger at the very moment of his most astonishing triumph?

How can this be, how is this fair?

Oh not to worry, it's just the perfidious difficult French, and we know all about them ...why, they don't even know how to use le doigt ...

Of course calling for leaders of conviction in politics isn't new. One popular German figure of the 1930s knew what was needed ...

An essential characteristic of what are called the great questions of the time is that thousands undertake the task of solving them and that many feel themselves called to this task: yea, even that Destiny itself has proposed many for the choice, so that through the free play of forces the stronger and bolder shall finally be victorious and to him shall be entrusted the task of solving the problem.

And yet Dame Slap spurns the noble convictions of noble leader Cory ...

Time then to read the Dame Slap runes ...

Oh dear, the useless onion muncher and the laggard Malware, and no one to hand to talk about the barking mad culture wars as the way to ensure a decent job in a stable society.

It's values, values, values, all the way ...

(here)

Okay, the pond will bite. What sort of fuckwit vicar's daughter would talk about Xian values, and then propose that these are the values held by people of other faiths ... or none ...

A no faith value laden recovery?

That's about as valueless and as meaningless as the pond crying in the wilderness  “Why can't we work out our differences? Why can't we work things out? Little people, why can't we all just get along?”

But what of Malware?

This very day the Devine has written a rousing defence of the man and cried out for people to give him a chance, give him a fair go ...

How about it Dame Slap? Should we give Malware a fair go, in the same spirit that saw him give copper a fair shake of the sauce bottle in the digital 21st century?

Of course on Dame Slap's land at the top of the very far away tree, a genuine and sensible conviction politician is code for someone who thinks the United Nations is using climate science as a devious way to establish world government ... or possibly it's a Chinese conspiracy. Who can say for certain?

Well we know what happened when last the world turned to genuine and sensible conviction politicians of the Dame Slap kind, back in the 1930s. But the United States is currently in the middle of a similar experiment.

For a report on how things are progressing, the pond turned to David Rowe this day, with more Rowe here ...

Ah, the joys of conviction politicians, and raising the middle finger in Dame Slap style ... and so the search for a Donald down under must take on an even more urgent, feverish tone, with even Cory not able to satisfy Dame Slap's lust for life amidst the culture wars...