In which the pond fills out the application form with the assistance of savvy Savva ...

   

The pond's bureaucratic heart skipped a beat yesterday with sheer delight ...

Oh sure, the reptiles are always rabbiting on about defeating red tape, and reducing regulation, and increasing efficiencies to get things done ...

Here, but that's for Tamworth, or even Armidale. Let's face it, the toads are always greedy and grasping ...

The pond was a bureaucrat in the glory days, up there with Britain and India, and how pleasing to see the spirit lives on ...

"To do an application you actually have to fill out the application form." 

Yes, indeed, oh indeedy do.

Please, fill out the application form, mistakes will result in delays, remember it must be in triplicate, with a paper copy for the filing cabinet, no white-out allowed, sign in front of a JP, take a number, stand in line, form a queue, keep the line moving, no complaining and no whining, and we'll do our best to re-accommodate you in  due course ... and then the pond would look gravely at the applicant and say solemnly, hmm, there's a few more questions that need to be answered before we can proceed to consider whether the application should be considered ...

But enough of these rarefied pleasures, because this day it's the pond's pleasure to peruse the direct communication from Malware's office to the readership of the lizard Oz ... as channelled and transcribed by the savvy Savva ...

Oh that's not good. Hasn't the man got a lazy mill or so he can kick in the direction of the coffers? Can't the great man himself lead the party to electoral glory?

Nope, it seems not, and so the savage Savva must write perhaps the longest job application form seen in recent times in the lizard Oz ...

Indeed, indeed, a united party, and full of clever schemes of the most articulated, coherent, comprehensively agreed, sellable kind ...

The funniest thing in this particular folly? It was the reptiles that encouraged ScoMo in his delusions, and then suddenly the reptiles got cold feet, as in today's editorial ...

The reptiles meandered on for another par, but it seems they finally grasped the notion that using superannuation funds would fuel price rices, add to reliance on the pension down the track, and not sort out the problems of the young in the housing market.

Alternatively, the whole Ponzi scheme of the housing bubble could continue, and the young could get a leg in to the market, and relying on scantily taxed capital gains, fund their retirement by selling off at vast profit to the next mug generation ...

Meanwhile, the result has seen a disorganised, chaotic government gaze up its fundament yet again because nobody in it dared to tackle the well-off, which was a great relief to the pond's friends, busy negatively gearing themselves into landlord status ...

What next? Some socialist New York scheme for rent control?

But back to the stern Savva, who was slowly building up to that job application ...

Now this is all very well, this listing of favoured sons, though the listicle has eerie echoes of prattling Polonius looking back to the 1950s and Ming the Merciless ...

The pond understands the idea of it. A chance for some favoured son (or even at a desperate pinch, daughter) to join the pantheon, and be hailed by reptiles ever after as stellar geniuses.

But surely the point is the job advertisement ... so let's get to it ...

And there it is, and surely there's a simple process which can help sort out everything:

"To do a job application you actually have to fill out the application form." 

Ah Barners,  where would Adani and the nation be without him?

And speaking of these matters, as usual the pond turns to the infallible Pope for insight, with more papal delights here ...

And luckily Rowe was also on hand with a slightly different application form, involving a trial by fire ... with more Rowe here ...

Well some might need to fill out application forms, but for others, there's just servile lick-spittle grovelling and an epic flinging of the taxpayer cash ...