In which petulant Peta celebrates the onion muncher, and the pond takes a ride with the memes ...

The pond is ever so pleased ...

Last week it wrote more in sorrow than in anger how petulant Peta had replaced ancient patriarch Akker Dakker at the heart of the Terror's Sunday opinion page ...

It just wasn't right, it just wasn't fair, and the pond is wildly excited that the reptiles have heeded the pond's call and restored Akker Dakker to his rightful place, with petulant Peta placed in a sidebar. 

The only real problem now is that Akker Dakker is to the left of the Devine column, which is simply not right, in the sense of being wrong ...

Akker Dakker isn't to the left of anyone, least of all the Devine, and it's never right to put him to the left. Why Akker Dakker was of the lunar right when the Devine was still dribbling on her bib ...

But while Akker Dakker's piece is at one with the slobbering, slavering, howling, rabid rat pack of Murdochian wolves doing the Islamic demonisation tango, the pond must note with deep regret that petulant Peta is doing the more important work this day ... you know, wrecking, the undermining, the the sniping, and the white-anting ...

The reptiles thought so highly of it, so valued the information and insights within it, they were giving it away for free, no doubt on the basis that the brand is enhanced by a quality freebie ... or perhaps because it was worth what the pond paid for it ...

The clever things embedded a link in that sub-header, which led to a Terror story about Malware suffering from foot in mouth disease yet again, the nub of it being ...

The Prime Minister has been under pressure about remarks he made when announcing export controls to protect domestic supplies. “People” were being offered prices of $20 a gigajoule in Australia and under the new regime it should be about half that amount or less, he said. Mr Turnbull later clarified the comments by insisting he was talking about wholesale prices, saying the main benefits would flow to businesses that relied heavily on gas.

Well the pond is only too pleased to help the reptiles with a link.

Naturally the legion of onion muncher lovers laughed and laughed, and petulant Peta made ready to mock ...

Speaking of deliberately chosen camera shots, as the pond must given the way that Peta has perversely raised it, inter alia, the pond has noted before the astute way that the reptiles curate their pictures, and truly that last one of that foolish Malware fop  gesticulating in parliament is incredibly evocative of other gesticulators ...

And as for women hating Malware, compare the deep love that women felt for the onion muncher ...

Was it only in 2013 that the onion muncher was caught in that marvellous moment with Lisa Newman?

The onion muncher's hot, sexy ways were always a hit with women, who fell at his feet, infatuated by his immense charm and wit ...

The pond felt the same way when it was in the same room as the notorious groping uncle, the pride of the family ... how the pond's mother loved to be winked at and groped ...

Compare this hot sexiness with the feeble Malware ...

Look at that firm woman correcting the devious, tricky, difficult, smirking Malware ...

What a myth that the onion muncher had a problem with women ...women loved him, women couldn't get enough of him ....

 

What a charmer he was ... still is, if only they'd recognise it, and return him to the throne instead of that hoppy toad lurking in the eastern suburbs ...

Indeed, indeed, taxpayer-supported Menzies Research Centre does great work on the taxpayer dime to help out the Liberal Party, and by golly, the chap at the heart of it certainly has that endearing, crumpled, rumple, hang dog look that sets some women aflame with desire ...

Now let's compare this shabby Malware chappie to the great press that the onion muncher routinely scored in the matter of women ...

Oh it's "Mia gets out and about and sells her book" week, so the pond thought it would just drop in a link ...

Let's face it, the pond would run out of space quicker than it could run all the many great stories about women's love of the onion muncher, and the many ways that the onion muncher promoted women ...

Oh you petulant Graudian people, listen, pay heed to perspicacious Peta ...

Indeed, indeed, did any one man do more for the status of bitch witch women than the onion muncher?

Well the pond is pleased to report that Peta's excellent wrecking, undermining, sniping and white-anting paid off, as she and no doubt the reptiles, had hoped ...

Splendid stuff ...and so to end on some of the onion muncher's grander insights, celebrated at news.com.au in Your Tony Abbott gaffe guide, and quickly turned into memes ...

“What the housewives of Australia need to understand as they do the ironing is that if they get it done commercially it’s going to go up in price and their own power bills when they switch the iron on are going to go up.” February 8, 2010.

Virginity “is the greatest gift you can give someone.” In response to a question about what advice he’d give his daughters about sex before marriage. 2010.

On Fiona Scott, MP for Lindsay “They’re young, feisty, I think I can probably say have a bit of sex appeal and they’re just very connected with the local area.” When asked about the commonalties with Ms Scott’s predecessor Jackie Kelly in the lead up to last year’s election, August 13, 2013.

On and on they go, so the pond might just wrap up with a couple of visualisations ...

Actually News puts an earlier dating on that one ...

“I think it would be folly to expect that women will ever dominate or even approach equal representation in a large number of areas simply because their aptitudes, abilities and interests are different for physiological reasons” Written by Abbott as a university student in the 1970s.

... but all that proves is how deeply and how long the onion muncher has held his firm views on the important role that women can play ... how deeply sympathetic he is to women, how he refuses to trivialise situations they might find themselves in, how astutely he refuses to sound like a fundamentalist Catholic bigot who believes in the magic of transubstantiation cannibalism, but draws the line at women controlling their bodies ...

Spoken, or at least winked, like the pond's uncle ...