In which the pond moves amongst the undermining, sniping, wrecking, scribbling dead, thanks to the onion muncher and the Daily Terrorists ...

It's always good to see a politician scribble on something he knows something about, and the onion muncher scribbling about the way he's all talk and no action - apart from bringing back knighthoods - is just the sort of thing for a relaxing moment on an Easter Monday ...

Of course Abbott, being a parrot as well as an onion muncher, is just trading off on other mindless headline seeking ...

Along the way, the Daily Terrorists get wildly excited about the onion muncher's five point plan, but this was trotted out way back in February and could be read about in Fairfax here ...

Months have gone by, and he's still blathering about his five point plan - all talk and no action- and he still hasn't managed to use his five point plan to unseat Malware, the real point of the exercise ...

It's the best to be hoped for from a politician whose idea of action is to bring back knighthoods, though even then, a grade A talker might fuck it up by giving the Duke another useless gong ...

Never mind, it's on with the onion muncher, cohorting with his conspiratorial Terrorists, trying to bring down Malware ...

Elsewhere in the Terror they provided a simple summary of the onion muncher's mindless do nothing jibber jabber about the doctor's diagnosis and his five-step cure...

What an enormously stupid gadfly he is, carrying on about all the usual luddite shyte that saw him tossed out of power because even his comrades in arms could recognise that he was a dropkick loser, as well as a bear with not terribly much brain ...

The pond can feel an old Pope coming on ... (with newer monkeys hammering away here).

Now by way of contrast, whenever the Terrorists run a story by the onion muncher, they like to feature their hero as a kind of Action Jackson figure, providing snaps that show their man can harass soldiers and ride a bike ...

But sadly, in the end, there has to be words, and that's when it all falls apart ...

There was an expectation that Comrade Bill would soon be in the Lodge?

The pond was reminded of those nights around the campfire when the young folk were terrorised with tales of the Tamworth bunyip ...

Comrade Bill is comin' to get ya?

Such is the onion muncher's hatred, fear and loathing of Malware that he won't ever let an opportunity go by to snipe, undermine, and wreck.

At the same time, rather than be too naked about it, the onion muncher knows how to dress it all up with creepy, smarmy, Uriah Heepisms, explaining that he's actually doing all this to help defeat Comrade Bill ...

And there he goes again, into mindless parroting about his five point plan, which he's been doing since February with no effect, except to generate instability and uncertainty in a government which was already woeful and inept ...

He's not going to give the pond a case of the runs by talking about what a fucking free speech libertarian he is, is he?

Yep, mixed in to the usual useless points is a fair swag of the usual mindless populism, as in that talk of the banning or rewriting of fairy tales.

Here's the thing. They've been doing over the classics since Lamb degutted Shakespeare way back when, and it's usually wowsers of the book-banning, conservative Catholic Index Librorum Prohibitorum kind that have been front and centre of the activity.

This is the sort of goose that would ban colleagues from turning up on Q and A, and now he's talking about freedom of speech?

Actually, more to the point, he will say anything if he thinks it'll bring Malware down, yet when he was in charge, he was woefully inept.

It wasn't just the pond. Other actual conservatives took note, and so it came to pass that the onion was mocked by warriors like Dame Slap ...

There's plenty more of that to be found by googling, but truth to tell it could all be said in a single sentence.

You see, Tony Abbott is a politician, and like all useless politicians, he's full of bullshit, but when it comes to action, all he wants to do is shiv Malware in the heart ...

If he was a genuine man of action, he would have left parliament, gone off to do something useful with his life, and spared us all this ersatz Chairman Rudd nonsense, which was tiresome in February, but even more tiresome when dressed up and trotted out like a spruce goose in April ...

Who believes for a nanosecond that the onion muncher or the replacement he backs to bring down Malware will reform the senate in the next few years by way of constitutional amendment ...

This sort of fairytale is in urgent need of censorship ...

Speaking of fairytales, this latest revival of the walking dead reminded the pond of another old cartoon, this one by Rowe (with fresher Rowe here to avoid the smell of rotting flesh) ...