In which the pond discovers true, real conservative values, thanks to the real prattling Polonius ...

Whenever the pond is stumped, the pond turns to the infallible prattling of Polonius as a fail-safe guide ...

What, the pond might wonder, are conservative values, and how can they be kept safe? 

It goes without saying that the original Polonius is entirely useless in his advice in relation to this important matter ...

WTF? Be not a borrower, or possibly even a bankrupt? Be not gaudy? Be not unproportioned? Give few thy voice, even when Twitter's handy and the thumbs are keen? To thine ownself be true rather than live out a welter of contradictions and lies?

Absurd nonsense, and a disgrace, but luckily the new Polonius is on hand to celebrate real conservative values ... in the form of Mark Latham and Donald Trump ...

You see? Only Mark Latham understood the Donald, and the Donald is the essence, the very model, of quintessential conservative values ...

Naturally the pond approves of Polonius's work. The hunting out of rogue ideologues who disagree or who are disagreeable is one of the great and essential arts, as practised from politicians of the Stalinist kind through to the McCarthyist kind (and it came in handy whenever a witch turned up in Salem).

Why shouldn't Polonius embark on a crusade against damned leftists and liberals refusing to acknowledge the Donald as a bold, brave American?

They should be made to run the gauntlet... dammit, if they have real conservative values they'll make it to the end of any torment of the sticks ...

Now the pond realises there have always been fringe elements in the conservative American movement who cluck about the Donald as not being conservative. 

There's the hapless, useless Donald Brooks, and a whole bunch like him, including Peter Wehner back in 2015 in Commentary pointing out assorted contradictions and saying Donald Trump is Many Things. Conservative Isn't One of Them ...

Dammit, Mr Wehner, your attempt to ingratiate yourself with the USSC has been noted, but the pond must return to prattling Polonius.

You see, in these troubled times, there are leftists swarming everywhere, and only Polonius can spot them. Even that fool little Johnny is no match for the keen-eyed Polonius's imitation of an American eagle ...

It seems clear enough what to do, though Polonius might be a tad too busy with his regular prattling to run both the Ramsay Centre and the USCC, or at least to be given the task of testing whether there are true conservatives in them teaching true Donald conservative values.

But there is an alternative. Mark Latham is out of one of his Murdochian jobs - sad, with the Overington reptile throwing 18C and the Polonial prophet in the wilderness under a bus ...

... but he's still handily subsidised by the taxpayer and should come cheap, so he could be employed to restructure the USSC ... and consult at the Ramsay centre ...

Then everybody would see that the rise of the Donald was natural and certain ...and then we could slowly restore the university to core conservative values, including but not limited to, boofhead vulgarity and arm-breaking 101 ...

Now all this might sound familiar to devotees of Polonius's writing, but reading Polonius over the years has helped the pond understand true and genuine conservative values ...

Please join the pond in its time machine to see the threshing machine in action, sorting out chaff so that it might be put to good use ...

Oh dear, Tom isn't a true conservative?

Is there only one true conservative in the land, and he is Polonius, and Polonius is he?

Is regurgitating the same stuff over and over again, like a Tamworth dog high on grass-chewing and returning to its vomit, the sign of a true conservative?

Indeed, indeed, and how well they're playing out in the United States, these truly conservative Trumpian values ... what a splendid conservative experiment it has turned out ...

The pond even felt the need to drag in the dog botherer to confirm that Trumpism was indeed conservative values laden ...

 

Good old conservative values at work, so please allow the pond to re-visit just a short gobbet of the dog botherer ... despite the length, this question of conservative values must be sorted for our collective Polonial good ...

The rest might be googled, but yes, there it is, Malware should have endorsed the Donald's conservative values ... and didn't that work out well these past few months ...

And so it came to pass that conservative values, Polonius, the dog botherer, Mark Latham and the Donald were as one ... so where are true conservative values at right at the moment?

(here, Graudian)

Naturally the pond celebrated with TT here the sight of true conservative values in action ...though maybe it's wrong to presume the Donald could manage more than 140 characters...