In which the venerable Dean celebrates the onion muncher and the climate science con ...

Dear silly Murdochian hack and scribbler of nonsense, Louise Roberts, please stick to the Murdochian script ...

Your job is to entertain us, not to tell us what to think, who to listen to or how to respond to them, or even how to think and vote.

Yes, it's another Murdoch loon trading off on celebrity power to write an intrinsically stupid column.

Here's how it works in an allegedly free country, Louise.

Celebrities may say and argue what they think; you and the pond may ignore them in any and every way possible ...

If the Donald wants to surround himself with the likes of Don King and Kanye West, or even mobsters with connections to the Mafia, that's the way free association and free opinions work ...

Rest assured if Gwenyth Paltrow speaks on any subject, like reaching the next level of conscience (or even consciousness), the pond will ignore it ... but as soon as you start talking of banning, in the way beloved by neo-fascists ...

Surely the time has come to ban self-righteous thespians — the professional pretenders — from politically spewing forth at awards ceremonies and events when the primary point they should be making is this: Thank you for honouring my work.

... the pond starts to think that the time has come to ban self-righteous thoroughly stupid hacks like Louise Roberts, even if the Terrorists valued the piece so little they put it outside the paywall ...

And where would that get us?

But please, at least pause next time before you rush into print telling the pond what to think about celebrities, you tiresomely stupid person you ... or perhaps instead, you could head off to China or Russia, where celebrities are suitably constrained in their thinking and their behaviour ...

The Putinesque climate might better suit your desire to shut people up.

Never mind, luckily Louise isn't the main  pond course of the day, because look, there to the far right of her in that Terror splash is the delightful Rowan Dean, who seems to have scored a regular gig with the Terrorists ... and naturally he waxes lyrical about the onion muncher ...

Ah, the onion muncher. Talk about a celebrity ...

And such a Twitterer too ...

Everyone just loves the onion muncher to death ...

But enough of the encomiums, we haven't even got to the ever so wise, off to the right of Louise, Dean yet ...

Jeeves, let loose the hound ... or if you will, a tautological old saw ...

Now pardon the pond for thinking that (1) climate change and (2) our relationship with the White House constitutes two issues ...

But never mind, the pond will accept that Dean is superior at arithmetic, and that a day after NSW sweltered under exceptional and remarkable heat is as good as any for his peculiar brand of climate denialism, Dean being one of the world's leading climate scientists, and with qualifications and experience in the area that would make even Maurice blush at his inadequacy ...

Perhaps, before we get to the next gobbet, we could see a portrait showing off Abbott's extraordinary Prime Ministerial gravitas ...

The year the climate con ends ... oh dear ...

Climate Change Deniers: Even Exxon's CEO Has Abandoned You ...

Of course the weasel has left himself plenty of wriggle room, but how is this ending the climate con?

“I came to my personal position over about 20 years as an engineer and a scientist, understanding the evolution of the science, came to the conclusion a few years ago the risk of climate change does exist, and that the consequences could be serious enough that action should be taken,” Tillerson said during his confirmation hearing. (here).

Is paying lip service to the con even worse than the con itself?

Never mind, the pond wouldn't like this to be seen as in any way a reflection on the onion muncher, a dab hand himself at climate science and something of a celebrity ... even in the Manly Post Office ...

By golly, he's a goer.

Now to seal the deal, can the pond just suggest to the Terrorists that they produce a splendid graphic to illustrate the Dean piece?

Dear sweet long absent lord, the pond has absolutely no idea what it means - colossi atop the temple of Canberra, if not Rhodes?

Hearken ye mockers, that was a Sergio Leone movie, before the master moved off to westerns ...

But we digress, if only because Dean as a comedy act rarely gets past the boom to the tish ... 

Even so, if the pond might try your patience, just one last gobbet if you will, as tasty as that after-dinner mint the waiter is tempting you with...

Well the pond will concede one point. Abbott is looking more and more in touch with the good folk at the Manly Post Office, and having Dean spruik his return will surely lead to great success in 2017, and possibly even produce a wondrous change in the way that science analyses the world's climate ...

Oh wait, that's three points ... but in the pond's defence, it's merely doing its arithmetic and counting in the approved Dean style ...

Now for avid readers of the venerable Dean, the pond should note that there was even more guff on other matters, such as preachers of hate and German greenies, but it quite spoiled the effect of pure undiluted Abbott worship ...

Ah well, at least there will be room in 2017 for yet another inimitable hypocritical onion munching backflip, and besides the pond had to allow some space for an inimitable Rowe, though more inimitable Rowe can happily be found here ...

And so to his splendid evocation of that last meal in Animal Farm ...