In which the pond joins the reptiles of Oz in deep irrelevance, thanks to the onion muncher ...

As everybody and her chien has been pointing out in the last twenty four hours, there's a staggering hypocrisy, ineffectuality and corruption about the Donald leaving Saudi Arabia off his list. The prime exporter of fundamentalism and 9/11 players has done more to stoke extremism than any other Islamic country, and yet business interests carried the day.

It's pure show and horseshit, but that's how the United States rolls these days.

There's a certain gory fascination in watching a once great power slide into confusion and chaos - talk of Roman days - but the pond's business is the reptiles, and so it was staggered to see that the chief story of the day, at least in the Oz digital edition, was judged to be the onion muncher ...

That's right, in this crazy, mixed up world, the editor of the Oz judged that a speech by the onion muncher in Adelaide was the most newsworthy story of the day.

And when the pond flicked down to the opinion section, who was top dog of the day?

Say what? The onion muncher was more important than a delicious serve of the Oreo, or an essential reading of the Major Mitchell parroting about groupthink activism journalism?

Clearly there was an agenda at work, or if you will, and as the Major Mitchell so succinctly put it, a grand case of groupthink activist journalism, where stories of the day don't matter, but the undermining and destabilising of Malware and the pandering to the onion muncher are front and centre ...

Now the reptiles couldn't be so shameless and obvious in the tree killer edition. There the onion muncher was relegated to the bottom corner ...

All the same, the pond felt the need to swim against the tide and see what groupthink activist journalism deemed the most important opinion piece of the day ...

First a little incentivation ...

Actually that's as tasty as it gets. The column itself is an exercise in pure tedium and irrelevance ...

He's not still banging on about this? The reptiles gave him a run and that should have been the end of it ...

Or is this a cunning conspiracy to make the Oreo and the Major Mitchell seem like required reading? 

Oh it became necessary to bite deep, to bite hard, and never mind the acrid taste of irrelevance ...

The pond has no idea why the reptiles feel the need to pander to and humour the onion muncher.

Do they really think this idea is top of the 'must do' list this day, with only half an eye on the history of referendums in this country?

Do they imagine anybody reading the onion muncher rabbiting on about recovering from the trauma of the past few years, without the snort of a horse laugh and a note about how he's clearly incapable of getting over it?

Get over it onion muncher, get over it ...

Do they really imagine this is a responsible business plan and this is the way to lure back readers?

But what, the masochist might ask, about the news story? Surely that had plenty of rich angles that easily justified its position at the top of the digital page ...

Well here, take another bite, it'll be needed for the journey ...

Young Liberals in Adelaide, and a climate denialist suggesting that climate change is Malware's Achilles heel ... because the Donald has determined that climate science is a Chinese conspiracy?

Does it get more irrelevant and nonsensical than this?

Never mind the reptiles of Oz, the pond can feel its readership dropping like flies. This is the business plan of the reptiles in action?

Did he say it that way? Did he really?

The British electorate rejected their prime minister's advice to leave the European Union?

He really said that did he?

Or were the groupthink activist journalists in such a rush to print that they put those words in his mouth, forgetting the need for a 'not' in a double negative ...

As for the rest of the standard climate denialism jibber jabber, a moment of relief only came with that line about the onion muncher barely concealing his frustration ...

Is Dr Freud in the house?

But why pander to the onion muncher? Why pretend he's still relevant, as opposed to another Cory wandering in the Adelaide wilderness?

Do the reptiles really think they'll revert to the onion muncher once Malware toddles off? Or is he just a hapless pawn, on hand to carry out their climate denialist agenda?

What's the agenda behind this groupthink activist journalism?

Well only one thing's certain. You won't get the answer from the Major Mitchell ...

Never mind, the pond should append the final sparrow fart, or gobbet if you will, from the mouth of the onion gobbler ,wherein he suddenly fancies himself as the Donald down under ...

There's only one thing to say. If a politician thinks that pure undiluted, horseshit of the "tackle real problems in a meaningful way so that people's lives get better" kind is the way forward, then he should fuck off, and the sooner the better ...

This sort of vacuous speechifying is exactly what people no longer want to hear. Sound bites from a dullard thickwit mouthing platitudes of a meaningless kind ...

And it might not hurt the reptile business plan when he does get lost ...

Meanwhile, for any foolish person who made it this far, there's a Rowe cartoon as compensation, and more compensatory Rowe can be found here ... though when he shows Malware boarding the Donald's arse, we should remember that the onion muncher is even deeper up the Donald's and his own arse ...