In which dashing Donners does it for Australia Day ... (oi oi oi redux) ...

Doddering - and indefatigable - Donners has become quite a hit on the pond's pages...

When he's not solving the nation's education problems for the lizards of Oz, he's off scribbling furiously for the Daily Terrorists, who no doubt appreciate the way his university life doesn't prevent him from becoming one of the common folk on hand to explain the world to Sydney's western suburbs ...

What we need are healthy correctives to the dreadful 'leets, and Donners is our man for the job ...

Now the first difficulty the pond had was the photo.

The Terrorists assure us it was stock, but does this mean they now ferret through Big Brother's sinister archive of threatening, horrific photos?

That photo seems to land somewhere between this ...

And this ....

It is, in fact, vaguely psychotic, and the presence of the Australian flag just adds to the sense of oppressive sociopathic psychosis ...

But let's not blame doddering Donners for the way that the Terrorists, in their sociopathy, have chosen to present him ... let's get down and dirty with the words ...

Now the pond has a simple view of this ...

Australia didn't exist in any meaningful sense until Federation Day ... Anniversary Day wasn't much chop...

If we were following British traditions and customs, we would celebrate Australia on the day of its birth ... not the beginnings in a jumped up colonial outpost designed to host a bunch of convicts dumped by the Poms because they didn't know what else to do with them ... and even worse, from NSW came everything wrong with the country ...

Bloody NSW, always the odd girlie out ...

The pond should acknowledge a fine collection of images at Croweater state library here, before acknowledging the obvious problem with the point its making.

The good Federation folk, for purely logical reasons, decided to make founding day January 1st.

What, give up New Year's day holiday for a federation birthday celebration?

Better to devise a jumped-up day when the colonials arrived.

Of course there was a lot of jumping around before it settled. NSW wasn't keen on celebrating convict day suggested the day that Cook landed in Botany Bay on 28th April 1770 (though some think it was 29th April 1990). During the first world war, Australia day was on 30th July 1915 as a way of raising funds for the war.

Ah good old parochial, provincial bickering.

If we'd gone with Cook, where would that leave the militarist jingoism of Anzac day, and the chance to get on the piss and play two up?

That leaves fatuous folk of the Donners kind to blather how the way dumping a bunch of convicts somehow represented all that was finest in western democracy ... when in reality the fantastic parade of illuminated bicycles didn't happen until much later ...

Oh yes, it was a grand time, and much better than the Terror's stock of supplied illustrations ...

Talk about a spiffing do, and yet there's Donners back with the convicts ...

Hang on, hang on, the pond's got some good cartoons to go with that line of argument ...

Now no doubt there's a few pedants who might quibble with good old Kev, the Greg Hunters that head off here ...

You see if you identify as Australian that makes you automatically British. Capiche?

Of course if you look at another bit of the data, you discover out of the population of just over 17 million,  you get this nice pie chart for 2015 here for ethnic groups present in Australia ...

And that, Humpty Dumpty, is how you get to 90%.

No need to fall off the wall in a fit of the grumps, just massage the data a little ...

Oh yes, that's set the mood for the rest of the Kev ...

Indeed, indeed, let's raise a glass to traditional Xian values ...

Oh heck, put it another way, a way that silly old Kev would understand ...