Hallelujah, the indefatigable doddering Donners is at it again ... and look, over there on the right, there's a classic moan and whinge and whine about moaners ...
Please, line up in a queue in an orderly fashion, and let us first deal with the delightful Donners, who, it turns out, references the boofheads of rugby league ...
... because when you're discussing lifting education standards, what better way to start than to lead off with a mention of that league of coat hanger delivering, one killer punch supporting, bikie fellow travelling, drug swallowing, sports bet cheating boofheads?
What better way would there be to get a metaphorical head start, a sort of dropping of the boofhead ball in a way that your Terrorist reader can understand?
But wait, dashing Donners seems to get his sports confused, and after talking about the 13 person game with four backups, reverts to talk of second elevens, with perhaps one person backing up ...
But wait, dashing Donners seems to get his sports confused, and after talking about the 13 person game with four backups, reverts to talk of second elevens, with perhaps one person backing up ...
Ah well it's only a stupid out of season metaphor by a very silly man ...
Now around this point it will be clear that the story needs a Satan, and who better than Piccoli, who passes for something of a wet in the Baird government (in much the same way as some perceive Genghis Khan as a soft old leftie up against your average Judeo-Christian Catholic warrior).
So cue that snap of Satan to set us off on the next bit of the ramble ...
Indeed, we can never have enough people who deem themselves dropkicks, failures, losers and outcasts.
What would society do without these wretches? Where would the privatised prison system be without them?
In that spirit, the pond has no problem labelling the next Terrorist illustration a tragic loser dropkick failure ...
Silly person, we were talking about a second eleven and you seem to have drawn some weird king of rugger bugger ...
Indeed, indeed, and the pond knows for a fact that an enthusiastic creationist is certainly better at teaching climate science than your average airy fairy climate scientist. What's needed is a natural passion to teach ...
As for the next illustration, the pond isn't sure what to make of it. We are told that Asian students always believe they can do better, whereas delusional Australian students answer that their standard of work is okay.
As for the next illustration, the pond isn't sure what to make of it. We are told that Asian students always believe they can do better, whereas delusional Australian students answer that their standard of work is okay.
So is that girl on the right, who seems of some ethnic Asian persuasion, pointing out to the Judeo-Christian Anglo-Celtic girl that she's a dropkick loser, and the sooner she joins the lumpenproletariat and heads off to jail so that the Chinese can take over the country, the better it will be for everybody?
And if so, is there a solution to this sort of cultural arrogance? Can Donners help?
Ah, there is a solution.
Rote learning and memorisation ... and that way, you can build entire industries based on ripping off the concepts and activities of other countries ...
Rote learning and memorisation ... and that way, you can build entire industries based on ripping off the concepts and activities of other countries ...
Yep, there's your solution to agility and innovation ...
(The full poem here).
And speaking of parrots, there's just time for a Terrorist sorbet, thanks to the Hunster Mike O'Connor, whose wise words have spread around the Murdochian empire like a plague of sulphur-crested cockies ...
And speaking of parrots, there's just time for a Terrorist sorbet, thanks to the Hunster Mike O'Connor, whose wise words have spread around the Murdochian empire like a plague of sulphur-crested cockies ...
Of course talking of the perpetually offended is a pretty crowded field, as a quick google will prove.
All sorts of detritus and visual crap - like a Bill Leak cartoon - turn up in a google search, triggered without any kind of trigger warning for unsuspecting souls ...
But never mind the cliche, never mind the incessant monotony, let us turn to the latest dropkick loser (Donners, where are you Donners?) moaning and whining about moaners and whiners, with bonus really spiffy illustration...
Actually that sub-header seems a little wide ranging ...
Might the pond be allowed to modify it a little?
If you're a male and you write for the Terrorists, then the chances are you've been described by your readers as a serial pest ...
There, that feels better, though the pond will allow that Mike O'Connor's wife might also read him, and so she too might think of him routinely as a serial pest.
And so to what in the old days used to be described as a humour or comedy column, a light-hearted piece to do with the battle of the sexes ...
Kaboom, a zinger, and zinger Bill nowhere in sight.
Instantly the pond was swept back to the great old days of the 1950s. In fact the pond recently discovered in a local street library an irreplaceable copy of Esquire cartoons ... the things some people throw away!
Instantly the pond was swept back to the great old days of the 1950s. In fact the pond recently discovered in a local street library an irreplaceable copy of Esquire cartoons ... the things some people throw away!
Oh happy days ... come back Ross Campbell, all is forgiven ...
And now it's back to the grumblebum, still grumbling away ...
This style of humour no longer acceptable?
But, but, billy goat, the pond was planning to run an entire series of cartoons from Esquire, just to remind young hipsters of what it was like in the Catholic dark ages of the DLP and the sniggering male ...
Now just so Donners' lovers will feel a sense of Judeo-Christian Anglo-Celtic continuity, what better illustration for the story than a hand over a pert young thing's mouth?
But, but, billy goat, the pond was planning to run an entire series of cartoons from Esquire, just to remind young hipsters of what it was like in the Catholic dark ages of the DLP and the sniggering male ...
Now just so Donners' lovers will feel a sense of Judeo-Christian Anglo-Celtic continuity, what better illustration for the story than a hand over a pert young thing's mouth?
What better way to illustrate the way that moaner and whiner Mikey now feels incredibly sad about the state of affairs in this country ...
Naturally he blames it all on the feminists, valiantly taking a stand against demeaning husbands ...
Or some such thing. Oh how much simpler it all was in the 50s, when men could read Esquire for the articles and only glance at the cartoons ...
Naturally he blames it all on the feminists, valiantly taking a stand against demeaning husbands ...
Or some such thing. Oh how much simpler it all was in the 50s, when men could read Esquire for the articles and only glance at the cartoons ...
Better still, please permit the pond to make a suggestion ... do something positive to improve your miserable lives ... by not reading the Hunsters and the Terrorists moaning and whining about the moaners and whiners.
Well if you reached this point, sadly it's too late for that advice to kick in, but keep it in mind for next time ...
And so to the big, lurking question.
What was the actual point of all this whinging, moaning, whining tripe about moaners and whiners?
Well actually it was just to highlight that advertisement, which could be found on YouTube here ... yep, it's a great way to recapture that 1950s Esquire vibe ...
That's the way it works in Murdochian click bait hell these days. Grab a mindless moaning moron to moan endlessly in a whiny, shrill way about moaners and whiners, throw in a link to a video, and then it's off to the pub with the other pests to celebrate another successful day moaning and whining...
Well if it's seasonal summer celebration time, the pond would rather celebrate the return of Rowe, celebrating ScoMo hard at work at the job in hand, and as always, more seasonal timely Rowe can be found here ...
Well there's just no keeping the "Broady Boy" down, is there DP. He's arrived at his magic formula and he's going to go on and on repeating it until his terminal breath despite it having no credibilty.
ReplyDeleteBut gratitude to the Donnelly epigone of a few posts back who reminded us of Kev's greatest accomplishment: an Order of Australia (and oh, how inexpressibly precious are the gifts from one's co-delusionists) for "contributions to education". By which he meant that since everybody knows that whatever Kev says is to be avoided like the plague, he saves them from wasting some of their precious time chasing yesterday's delcon chimeras.
Perhaps it could be said that Kevin is parroting the kind of back-to-the-past christian based "education" that will be aggressively promoted by the new secretary for "Education" in the USA, as described in the essay by Jeff Bryant titled Donald Trumps Extremist Education Agenda.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, how did Kevin ever get to be appointed a senior research fellow at the ACU. Such an appointment doesn't say very much for the quality of the research and "scholarship" at the ACU.
It's just a bit of wingnut reverence for Samuel Johnson who once said: "My master whipped me very well ; without that, Sir, I should have done nothing."
DeleteI imagine that conforms to the educational beliefs of the ACU very well indeed.
A fine piece of field anthropology pond. Those esquire "cartoons" exactly identify the era from which Bill Leak has time traveled. A revolutionary time when cartoonists could utterly disregard the need for humor and have them rolling in the aisles with unadorned misogyny. Although, our Bill with his wider vision has been able to incorporate a kind of neolithic racism into this long hidden school of art. Fuck, in the correct context, phantom comics should be in the school curriculum.
ReplyDeleteSorry, Unknown, I'll have to disagree with you here somewhat. Taken within the context of their time, some of those Esquire cartoons are reasonably witty, or at least well-drawn. Phantom comics are a key part of our cultural heritage (okay,, the strip is American, but you probably get what I mean.....). Bill Leak's humourless, self-obsessed scratchings for the Oz, on the other hand, wouldn't have made "The Bulletin" at it's most feeble, and aren't worth using to wrap fish. Actually, I'd be wary of eating any bream or flathead that came wrapped in pages from the Oz- might do terrible things to one's digestion......
ReplyDeletePhantom comics are very much part of our living culture since a small part thereof is revealed to us 6 days per week in the Melbourne Herald-Sun. Along with Calvin and Hobbes and Garfield amongst other fine creations - even a "modernised" Ginger Meggs, would you credit.
DeleteNow Mandrake and The Shadow - they are part of our cultural heritage, and Brick Bradford too (two of the three adorned the back pages of Women's Weekly - when it still was weekly - for many years).
Brick Bradford! I'll see you out by the Time Top, GB!
Delete