And what better way to start off the year than with a late, but succulent, Oreo?

The pond is in summer season mode, and so as things begin to settle down, brings news of great and astonishing sights seen on its epic travels ...

Mysterious and evocative is the original elephant-decorated home of Angus Taylor ... and with duelling bakeries too ...

Speaking of duels, late in the lost last year of yore came a wondrous debate which will keep on playing out this happy new year.

Will Cory reveal himself to be a gutless wonder, a lily-livered spruiker of action incapable of delivering the goods? Will he, as they used to say in Tamworth, turn out to be a willing supplier of abundant faecal matter or will he get off the pot?

His grand-standing poses an opportunity and a threat for the onion muncher, who prefers white-anting from within the tent, rather than standing outside and pissing in …

Will Cory continue to play his childish game of seasonal tit for tat with the onion muncher, thereby showing he lacked the balls for the grand outsider gesture? Or will he actually person up and do something? Hare off into the wilds and Moses-like spawn a tribe of rebels? Or is he just an empty poser, a dropkick loser? A gormless wannabe conservative man of action?

The onion muncher has shown him how to play the game in cowardly, sneak fashion from within the tent. Gratuitous thought bubble seasonal Palestinian demonisation anyone? And even worse, done not for the reptiles but for the glory of the colonial offshoot of the Spectator down under ...

Well time will tell and Cory’s the man to deliver and to make Australia great again, it having been acknowledged by all that it has been ruined by the onion muncher and the man in eastern suburbs top hat and spats, and indeed, quisling and lickspittle fellow traveller Cory himself, but either way, it’s a win-win for the pond.

And so, unfortunately, it must also be noted, it might also be a win for zinger Bill … but these sorts of minor downside elements shouldn’t interfere with the pleasure of learning the truth about Cory … man or mouse? Blathering windbag or a cool Mark Wahlberg type, ready to take the shot?

Of course it might well turn out that he’s both a useless tool and a gutless wonder, but where’s the harm in that? And so 2017 might turn out to the year of the rooster and Cory, or it might just so happen that the rooster is a useless chook continually crowing but incapable of supplying the goods.

Reveal your inner nature Cory, seize the moment, and you might seize the times … what matter if you get plucked in the process?

And speaking of seasonal chooks, the pond is late to the scene, and has missed much over the seasonal break.

Hardened Oreo watchers more with it than the pond will have already caught up with her very solid start to the year in yesterday's reptile rag.

But the pond is indolent reflective mode ...a day late, or a month? Meh, what's it matter?

Pure undiluted Oreo quality insights have the durability and flash of gold, the sparkle and cutting power of industrial-grade diamonds ...

It would be almost criminal not to start the year with an Oreo ...

Yes, the year's unlikeliest Oreo biscuit is celebrating the year's unlikeliest dividend, and what fun to see everyone in reptile la la land do a hard pivot and learn to love Vlad the impaler ...

It was only a few years ago that the reptile commentariat could be relied upon to rail against dark Russia and its latest Tsar, and his revival of Commie pinko pervert world domination aspirations ...but now it's de rigueur to admire soft dictatorships ...

Naturally the epic duel of Cory and the onion muncher also offered the Oreo the chance to evoke hopes of a domestic Liberal version of that recent infamous Rousey outing ...

Indeed, indeed, and in that spirit of equivocation and fluctuation in the prevailing wind, the pond offers its very own weather vane sighting ...

Well you'll need to study the fish vert closely to work out in what way the Donald was a "values-driven conviction politician" ...

Unless you mean values as in an enhanced family fortune ... and a conviction they should all get filthy rich ... because values, and consistency of values seem otherwise a tad hard to find.

And they wonder why one dictionary settled on "surreal" as the word of the year ...

And so back to the Oreo for that inimitable final flourish everyone has come to know and love ...

Every time the pond reads the Oreo it's rewarded with stunning insights - the news that the Donald will be inaugurated on January 20th is precisely the sort of news that had passed the pond by in its summer recess ...

And the tip that we will all learn to love Vlad the impaler is great news for all those, who, to quote the Oreo, love "fundamental freedoms such as free thought and speech, and the sovereign rights and wealth of the people against supranational oligarchs and mates and cronies of Vlad the impaler."

If the pond reads the Oreo right, why the Donald and Vlad the impaler will form a new international coalition in defence of the free world.

Luckily, the free world doesn't need to include journalists, who may be shot on sight, or at least given a cup of tea laced with polonium-210, in memory of Alexander Litvinenko ...

Was it only to emphasise the surreal nature of a slice of Oreo that the reptiles of Oz ran a couple of other opinion pieces yesterday with these tempting splashes?

 

Well the pond is all for hacking and cyberwarfare. It is, after all, fundamental to free thought and free speech and - let's face it Graham Burke - free torrenting ...

And then there was a slow coach who hadn't quite caught up with the shift in the reptiles' moral landscape ...

Hang on, hang on. What's this anti-cowboy mentality? Yee hah ...

Besides, the pond is all in favour of anyone ingesting anything they like and if that makes them seem like they're attending a demented rave party while winning Olympic gold, all the pond can say is "surreal" ...

No doubt this is all yesterday's news, at least until Cory, the onion muncher, Vlad and the Donald help save the western world and civilisation today and tomorrow ...

Luckily, the Pope took some pre-Xmas pleasure celebrating gorgeous George, and the Pope's nose turkey-kissing Cory, heralding the stuffing good fun to come in this glorious new year ... 

And luckily, the infallible one has returned from his time in the holiday sun to do more cartoons for his gallery here ... 

Let's hope that this year Fairfax finally get around to fixing the outrageous formatting to be found there ... but meanwhile, there's still time to relish the freedom-loving turkeys as they go about the business of doing their thing for free thought and free speech ...

Oh it's going to be a good year, a very good year, from fine old kegs, from the brim to the dregs, the Oreo poured sweet and summer clear, heralding a very good year ...

PS, for those who just have to know, the elephant is at Nimmitabel, home of Angus Taylor, and the fish can be found at Fish Creek ...