Because the Donald ...
The pond is still operating on summer holyday time, and so is turning in a brunch edition, a lazy, sloppy one like a Donald tweet ... and really the rest of the year might be spent simply reproducing similar Trumpian inanity ... it's the art of distraction cranked up to 21.
It seems the reptiles and Republicans must now learn to love Julian Assange, who is much more expert on many matters than American intelligence agencies ...
Very strange indeed, and the Graudian noted this flurry of tweets in Republicans voice disdain after Trump tweets support for Julian Assange...
A chastened Sarah Palin has realised the error of her ways. What about the reptiles?
Sorry, the local reptiles were busy with other matters Trumpian and intent on pounding the drums of war in an Oz editorial ...
Well first to the Oz editorialist, and the reptile notion that we must play our part in the fight against Islamist terror.
Will they mention Wahhabism and Saudi Arabia?
Ah no, no, no way, it's just more parroting of good Prof Leahy ...
Look to the Donald for strong leadership over territorial threats from Mr Putin?
What hipster's supplying the weed to the Surry hills bunker? It must be more potent stuff than the medical marijuana the cops are collaring at the moment ...
The reptiles still haven't woken up to the Donald/Julian/Vlad alliance, but at least the reptiles can find common ground on the necessity of Israel's maintaining of its ghettoes and its apartheid ...
So the bulk of the editorial reminds us that the Donald is a loose cannon?
And then limply concludes that we must be prepared to play our part following the loose cannon blindly wherever it points?
Well at least we know how the 600 ended up riding into the valley of death and charging the guns ... talk about blundering fools ...
Never mind, it's the summer silly season and it's impossible to expect the reptiles to produce any sense from the haze of smoke clouding their hipster inner city 'leet bunker.
As for that other Trump business, the pond feels compelled to run it, even if it was written by the tear-sodden last governor of Hong Kong and heralder of the end of the British empire. Sod off, Ireland lives!
Okay, okay, the pond gets it, maintain the rage, and maybe not follow the blunderer all the way into a valley stacked with guns.
But what's the real reason for the pond wanting to reproduce Patten?
Well it comes at the very end of the read, with a tag indicating the reptile source ...
Project Syndicate?
Yes, it's not Chris Patten of The Australian, it's his lordship Chris Patten of Oxford, and it came a day earlier and with a different header ...
Are the reptiles becoming the alt right Huff Post down under?
Why do they bother charging for something that can be found here? Together with plenty of other reading matter ...
Are they trying in an unconscious Freudian way to undermine their business model?
Do they realise the splendid irony of juxtaposing a free story berating Trump with their nonsensical editorial about matters Trumpian?
Have they not yet realised the world will be run henceforth by Trumpian twitter diktat?
Will they come to love Julian and Vlad the impaler?
Have they purchased a copy of Jackie Evancho's Xmas album? And if not, why not?
Surely in these troubled times, as a close ally of the Donald, we must be prepared to play our part and listen to wretched music?
No doubt things will become clear as the year unfolds, but the signs aren't looking good for reptile coherence. They're already sounding as confused and chaotic as a Trump tweet.
Just as monarchists are preparing for a world without the queen, perhaps the reptiles should be thinking about life post Chairman Rupert ...
And on that cheerful note, the pond is pleased to note the return of the remarkable Rowe, celebrating some domestic successes ... and as always, more Rowe here ...
It seems wayward robots are all the go, as the infallible Pope also has a computer on the move, and more Popery here ...
Well you won't find any of that nonsense on the front page. Yes, it's still coal, coal, coal for Australia ... after all, it was only the fourth hottest year on record. There's still time to go for gold!
Are the reptiles seeking to develop some environmental credibility through this relentless recycling? Or is it just the result of further cost-cutting, squeezing as many column inches as possible out of a single article? Unfortunately, as anyone who has dunked one teabag multiple times already knows, the results just become weaker and weaker with every use.
ReplyDeleteAaah, the value of a jolly decent break to refresh the engines, sharpen the vision, double down upon the wisdom, wit and humour - Popey and Mr Rowe have never looked better.
ReplyDeleteOur elected officials? Well, there's one groups acting "under advice" from a lobbyist who sold them a shit IT package, and they're busy trying to avoid admitting they are systemically hassling poor people with legal threats. They're called The Coalition, aka, our Government.
Over in WA, the golden vision of rockin' Rod late of One Nation being knocked down, having papers thrown all over him, and then bouncing up and tossing his coat aside, shaping for some biffo, only to forget he had been injured, and promptly delivering himself to hospital with an "injury". See Rod bounce off the ground for some biffo, and try and work out where he was "injured". It'll kill a few minutes ending with a question mark.
Yep, holidays - how would we get by without them?
"... a shit IT package"
DeleteYou had me going for a moment there, VC, I thought you meant Parakeelia's Feedback package - you know, Parakeelia, the IT software company owned by the Liberal party that each MP has to spend $2500 of taxpayers money buying individual access to the package.
But you just meant that crap Centrelink software that's been accusing lots of people of welfare fraud. I don't think the Liberal Party owns that one, it was just another huge PubServe success (you know, like Myki, like the Victorian Desal Plant, like the Collins submarine, like the F35, like ...)