In which the pond does its first Seinfeldian sitcom post about nothing for the year, which is to say, about the dog botherer ...

Of course Ley's goose was cooked the moment when the Murdochian pack turned feral yesterday and savaged their own kind ...

As a result, the pond thought it was time to turn to domestic affairs, after all the worshipping of Israel, the ending of the UN,  how kind and caring Australia has been to East Timor, and how daily the Donald shows his presidential qualities and stands above the fray as a kind of giant FDR in the making ...

Oh dear, billy goats gruff, be very quiet crossing the rickety bridge to get to the lush grass, the terrifically terrifying terrible troll called Trevor - or the Donald - lurks beneath ....

Meanwhile, the Terrorists seem to have been taken over by Rachel Corbett ...

For lovers of irony, there's something rich about Corbett scribbling about social media - having used Facebook to slag off a bunch of students, the troll suddenly discovered what it was like to be trolled, and then scribbled 'I never expected a reaction like this' ...

The pond was after something more substantial, and as usual the reptiles of Oz provided some hot contenders ...

Gays and burkinis side by side, and the urbane Urban scores again!

But no, it was time for something of substance, something important in the local political scene ... and the tabloid Murdochians were still in full hue and cry ...

Now ABC News 24's contribution had been exceptional.

Early in the morning - too early for the pond to score a screen cap - they'd taken the "Suss" out of "Sussan"and dubbed her "Susan", and then slowly worked their way back to the correct spelling, first referring to her only as "Ley" and then finally getting it right, no doubt after the work experience person patrolling the Chyron raced around like a headless chook ...

What the pond was looking for wasn't inept spellers of the ABC cardigan wearing kind - always willing to offer a 'really unique' experience - but an authoritative voice ...

Trust Dame Groan, but that seemed a little abrupt. Off with her head, and that's that, done and dusted ...

That excellent edition at adelaide.edu here and good on them ... but the pond was still hankering, and lo, there, in the top three digital stories this morning, there seemed to be an ancient mariner able to stoppeth at least one of three and hold them entranced and beguiled ...

Never mind yet another story of Catholic hubris and shamelessness, there was the dog botherer, come to offer relief and options for the hapless, persecuted Malware...

Would he call for the return of the onion muncher? 

Would he opine on hot young members of the Ministry right for a promotion? 

Would he name names and press home favourites that would see Malware's reign transformed?

Surely there would be young possums waiting to surge forward and transform the Liberal government with their energy and vision ...

Fuckitty fucketty fucky wuck, but what are the bloody options, as opposed to a re-hashing of the bloody obvious?

That's it? That's all, she wrote? 

Give Artie another gig? Throw the poodle into the breach? No mention of young guns or fading onion munchers?

Just not bother doing anything much, just apply a bit of paste and cover up the cracks ...

Not for the first time this year, the pond will feel deep sympathy for the poor suckers who pay for the privilege of reading the likes of the dog botherer, not for the last time this year will the pond be forced to produce a Seinfeld-like blog about nothing ...

And speaking of nothing and the poodle, as the pond routinely does, because they go together so well ...

Enjoy your taxpayer-funded benefits and holydays while you can, dear poodle ...

As for the dog botherer, daring to disturb the tranquility of the poodle's fishing, does he have any last words?

That's it? Just drop a minister and all will be well, because, let's face it, running the country isn't a complex task, it's a doddle with plenty of time for fishing, and besides there's money to be saved ...

And this is how we enter a transformative new year?

Well there's money - and time - to be saved not worrying about the dog botherer, and so to a more productive moment, the Rowe of the day, and as always, more Rowe here ...

And meanwhile the pond's desperate attempt to avoid the Caterists has failed ...