In which the pond celebrates the chief stenographer and the dog botherer and the media that matters ...

With the hard yards done for the day, and Bronnie denying Abbott twice (where's the rooster that will crow thrice?), the pond took the time out for a distraction, and the media and the things that matter, and who better to turn to than the chief stenographer ...

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What, like this?

Never mind, the stenographer was clearly torn in her reporting, as she pumped up Nine's volume:

Oh dear, Greek tragedy and all that, but what a relief that all was well and dad was just being dad...

But here's the strange thing. You see, the stenographer shows all the signs of the infatuation with the ABC that marks all the reptiles.

Why else would she describe Karl Stefanovic as the new Tony Jones?

Where's the joy in Nine attempting to cash in on a show that the reptiles routinely revile? Will it be as tragic as the Bolter trying to emulate The Insiders?

The last the pond checked a month ago, the price of ideological zeal was a TV ratings pit, with The Insiders hauling in 286k in the morning and the Bolter doing 136k (here).

Couldn't she think of other, better ways to be insulting?

 And then came this classic example of befuddled thinking ...

What the fuck? It's advertising. They can take it up or turn it away as they like. If their business model fails, that's their business.

To pretend that advertising designed to promote self-interest is somehow up there with fair, independent and objective reporting is just barking mad stuff ... and yet the stenographer, in her mindless way, went along with it, and decided it was all pretty outrageous. And next week, no doubt she'll be having kittens about hapless bakers being forced to bake a gay cake ...

There's a reason that the pond rarely bothers with Markson. With the greatest disrespect, she's routinely, impeccably dumb ...

But speaking of that reptilian fascination with the ABC, the pond presents the sort of primary evidence that makes for a knock-down win. Look no further than the dog botherer's latest outing ...

Now the dog botherer is beyond passing strange, but this latest opus on the ABC is even weirder than usual.

Oh sure there's the usual Windsor bashing, and a remarkable display of a lack of a sensa huma ...

Yep, no doubt the dog botherer - along with little Timmie - had a good laugh at Dutton the mutton, but making a joke about Moorice's senility is somehow beyond the pale ...

As if anyone reading one of Moorice's senile rants wouldn't wonder how it is that he keeps on getting space in Murdoch la la land ...

But never mind, here's the thing. The rest of the piece shows that the dog botherer is infatuated with the ABC and clearly listens to it all the time ...

And this is how the reptiles fill in their days?

The dog botherer listens to Doogue and likes James Carleton and likes Fran Kelly, but only in an Adelaide way (oh dear, so Adelaide a thing to say, as we once more rally against the eastern staters).

In what way do the personal responses to a few RN broadcasters constitute a meaningful or useful column, except to mark out the besotted, bizarre way that the dog botherer is obsessed with the ABC?

It's really weird stuff this constant ABC watching, and commenting, and playing favourites, and it says that there's something deeply disturbed and disturbing at work in the reptile psyche ...

Haven't they got better things to do with their time and their columns?

What would happen if - as the Chairman wishes - the media landscape became a dull grey Murdochian monopoly? Who would the reptiles listen to, watch and discuss and debate then?

Never mind, here's a few things from Twitter, because that baleful world irritates the reptiles so ... almost as much as the ABC, as we head back into the archives ...