It has failed in its duty.
It's all very well to point out reptilian acts of omission with lots of cartoons and front pages and goosey tweets, but anyone who attends the pond expects some hard core reading.
A reptile sinking teeth into flesh, like those crocs that entertain the tourists up north:
By golly that's a handsome sight.
So because the pond understands that excess can never be enough, because the pond is like George Sanders trapped in a Cecil B. De Mille movie, the pond understands the need, the urge:
Now there might be a few tremulous souls who wonder whether this wild thrill-seeking is wise, given the gloomy current report on the climate, which goes on for 267 pages, and has got graphs and footnotes and all that folderol, and takes forever to download in pdf form here.
Communists, pinko noaa perverts.
So the pond understands the hunger.
And luckily there's a bloviator to hand who understands the need for a goodly burst of hot air. Can there be anything more thrilling?
Can you feel the vibe?
Because you see, climate change is just about the vibe, and you need a climate denialist to work out a decent set of actual policies to deal with a problem that isn't a problem, it's just a vibe.
And so the pond proudly presents a fresh burst of climate denialism, dressed up as a considered consideration of the issues:
Now that's tasty. Did you like the comical bit about that comical Kazakhstan?
What's that you say?
Australia in big trouble in Davis Cup, up against Kazakhstan in some remote town sometimes known as Darwin where men still chunder and crocs are all the go?
Oh dear, let's remember it's just the gesture that matters, not the outcome - for god's sake, never mind the width, just feel the vibe - because after all, nobody really believes in all that faux science guff:
Hmm, we matter so little ...
A series of huge mines planned for outback Queensland would, at capacity, produce nearly enough coal to match Germany’s total greenhouse gas emissions. (Graudian it here).
Now the pond is always in favour of humility ... ever so humble and Barkis is willing and all that other Dickensian and Uriah Heepish sort of stuff.
But where's Kenny's pride, carry on like a Heep?
Australia's a proud sporting nation. Why on a good day we can give Kazakhstan a good run for its money at tennis...
Surely we're not going to stand by idly and let others snatch the crown of glorious achievement with banal talk of multilateral postures?
Sock to the pond, world achievers and record breakers ...
Ah, that's more like it. Puts all that false modesty aside and let's celebrate our achievements.
It's coal gold coal gold coal gold for Australia ...
The Green Innovation Index: International Edition, put together by Next 10, analyses and ranks the economic and energy performance of the world’s 50 largest economies, including Australia. The report, released this morning, places Australia among the worst in world with the highest coal consumption per capita than any other country on earth.
The report ranks Australia 45th out of 50 for per capita emissions, only marginally better than gulf nations such as Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Qatar and the United Arab Emirates. It also finds that Australia’s total energy consumption is higher than France, Italy and California despite having a smaller population. And the hits just keep on coming, with Australia also ranked among the worst for energy use (43rd) per capita and electricity use (45th) per capita. (here).
We're winners, winners, the pond tells ya.
How sinister and weird that Chris Kenny would seek to undercut our glorious achievements. Why we can take Kazakhstan at tennis any day of the week.
Ah well, guess it's time to wrap up Kenny trying to ruin the country's reputation:
Yep, it's more about the vibe of the thing than the details, and there's no better vibe than a climate denialist pretending to take climate policy seriously ... and then ending up with a little snotty toad remark about "true climate believer" - which gives the whole bloody game away about climate science being just another form of religious thinking ...
Bet that Kenny is a whiz at tennis too... the pond should have booked him a ticket to help out in Darwin.
And now since any sensible reader fell asleep a few gobbets ago and the pond promised tremendous excitement and shattering thrills and is always true to its word, here it is. Eek watch out for the lion, and if those dancing girls, the orgies of those barbaric pagans and the seductive beauty of Delilah don't get Chris Kenny going, nothing will:
Err, wrong, Dot. Those dogs will get Kenny going. Any day of the week.
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