Wednesday, June 06, 2018

In which the pond listens to a poignant "Ned" lament ...


The pond loves a good lament.

Usually when it comes to nattering "Ned", the pond would make jokes about shouting at clouds, or telling difficult young people or politicians to get off the lawn, but the pond wanted a toney start, like Gavin Hamilton's Archilles Lamenting the Death of Patroclus, 1760, or the same sort of lamenting from the French school, c. 1800.

Classy lamenting, up market lamenting, spiffy toney lamenting, real scene setters for a lunch-time lament…

Oh sheesh, maybe shouting at clouds would have been a better start. 

No, the pond won't mention we'll all be rooned, said Hanrahan, but are things that bad when it comes to politicians ruining democracy?

Probably not, but when nattering "Ned" gets on a roll, strangely enough the pond gets a desire to click heels and to dance at the sheer pleasure of being alive, and all the entertainment on offer …


Oh it can't be all that bad, can it?

But when "Ned" gets gloomy, nothing can help him, not even a good dose of Ambien … it's gloom, gloom, gloom, and everything is rooned, and waiter, please a large bucket of ashes, and clothes for rending, and if there's a wailing machine to hand, we'll take that as well …

This is a bigly, hugely lament … and when "Ned" is wrathful, no one and nothing pleases ...

Thank the long absent lord "Ned" mentioned the Nazis, because the pond can blame him for the pond flouting Godwin's Law once again.

You see, "Ned", like most of the reptiles, shows an exceptionally strong form of intolerance, of the kind favoured by totalitarians and absolutists.

They don't like mess, they don't like splitters and schismatics, they like a monochrome unity. Here no diversity, no diversity here …everybody into uniforms, everybody into line, everybody think and feel like "Ned".

But it can't be all that bad, can it, fractious people joined together to be fractious in the house, without everyone needing to take to the streets for full-on rioting?

But "Ned" is inconsolable. As a result, the best thing about his lamenting is that in the end it must end …

And there you go, at the very end, the patriarchal totalitarian mindset is laid bare for all to read … it's all the fault of the voting public, they ruin everything, they make life miserable for "Ned" with their derelict behaviour and their fickle voting for dysfunction …

Waiter, short haircuts please, and everyone stand in line, and with a bit of luck, we'll all live in a one party state … and then things will be better, no doubt about it …

While deep in its "Ned"-induced misery, the pond paused for a nanosecond and remembered how in the first fourteen years of the Commonwealth, before the great war, the country had six federal leaders, with two of them, Deakin and Fisher, lining up for three separate goes at the top job … (check them here).

And yes, there were "Neds" at work then, noting how the system was entirely rooned, sublimely unaware that a war was coming along that would show them all what totally fucked up real "roon" was really like …

And suddenly in the lunchtime way, the pond felt like a good meal, and a clicking of the heels, and a bit of music and a dance, because things can't be that bad in this corner of the world, can they?


  1. I admire your resilience Dorothy and your ability take us through what old man Kelly has to pontificate about.

  2. Ned doesn't offer a solution, but I think he would like this one, based on the well-known rule of how to be happily married: If Liberal and Labor agree, do what Labor wants. If they disagree, do what Liberals want. Can't get fairer than that.

  3. Neddles: "The senate these days is the product of three forces ..."

    Of which the main two are (1) Malfeasance's idiocy in (2) calling a double dissolution which lowered the 'bottom end' senate quota which (3) let a bunch of numbskulls into the upper house. To join the numbskulls (eg Leyonhjelm) who were already there.

    But really, folks, a major cause of senate disruption is also those who couldn't understand the concept of single citizenship and thus let an even more numbskullish lot into the House.

    Besides, I can't recall Neddles ever mentioning the appalling situation of Tasmania's Harradine - with an absolutely infinitesimal number of votes (primary plus preferences) - dominating the Senate (with Mal Colston) during Keating's and Howard's time. Wasn't that disgraceful too ? Wasn't Colston's appointment by Joh Bjelke-Petersen an absolute democracy destroying disgrace ? Did Neddy ever protest that ?

    Neddles: "'s minor parties are creations of populist disruption and grievance."

    And Harradine and Colston weren't ?

    1. I am not to sure that Colston was appointed By Bjelke Petersen.I believe he crossed the chamber to vote with the opposition at the time and from then on was black balled by the labor party he went on extended sick leave suffering from cancer so he said.

    2. I am not to sure that Colston was appointed By Bjelke Petersen.I believe he crossed the chamber to vote with the opposition at the time and from then on was black balled by the labor party he went on extended sick leave suffering from cancer so he said.

    3. Correct, It was Albert Field who was "appointed" by Bjelke. When Bert Milliner died, the convention at the time was for a replacement to be selected by the party of the deceased Senator. Labor selected Mal, but Bjelke thought he was to socialist and sent Albert Field along (Albert was an ALP member but did not like Gough)

    4. Quite right, ww and s3, I stand corrected; Joh did appoint Albert Field not Mal Colston. Colston was nominated by Labor to replace the deceased Bert Milliner, but Joh declared him "a dangerous socialist" apparently, and selected Field instead.


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