Tuesday, January 31, 2017

In which the pond matches Latham's ten points with an even more optimistic outsiders' manifesto ...




Those little hoppy toads that popped out of the mushroom reminded the pond of many discussions with "feel the burn" supporters who repeatedly told the pond that anyone would be better than that dreadful woman, that terrible Clinton ... 

Well, welcome to their world ... and feel the burn ...

The pond wouldn't mind if it was just the United States likely to go up in flames ... but it's likely going to be the whole planet ...

And so to another hoppy toad of the kind routinely expected at the Terror ...



Now there's an important thing to note about this sort of dross - down there in the bottom corner it carries the mark of Satan, the equivalent of the lizard Oz gold brick ...


Premium?

Shit by any other name is still shit ... and smells as sweetly ... 

Even calling it premium quality shit doesn't help it get out of jail ...

So what to do?

Well the first step is to abuse the porous paywall so that the content can be perused for free ...


This might result in a little revenue by way of clicks, but the good news is that if it's only clicks, the business model is doomed.

Still, some might even flinch at a click ...

Now at some point there will come this rising question. 

Why am I reading and paying attention to a taxi-driver arm-breaking psychotic whose chief contribution to literature was by way of a deeply disturbed Twitter account, and who also managed to set the Labor party back for years? 

A reminder, a small sample ...


Then further into the reading, another question might arise? 

What to do, what to do?


Now around this point, talk of policy substance from a man prone to verbal diarrhoea might simply induce a hollow laugh ... but please allow the pond to join in the substantive policy debate as to how we might move forward ...


Well it wouldn't usually take the pond 10 points to make the point, but hey nonny no, on we go, here's the pond's best effort at a ten point manifesto for Australia's future ...


In terms of savings, the pond's first proposal is to cut all expenditure on Murdoch publications of any kind.

Tired of reading obsessive dross about Harriet Wran?


Don't buy the Terror ...

Don't encourage it in any way, and if you see it in someone else's hands, curl the lips and note it with a supercilious inner city 'leet sneer, along the lines 'you do know they prepare that shit in an inner Sydney city bunker, a bit like the F├╝hrerbunker that housed Adolf in his last days?'


Tired of seeing this sort of nonsense ironically juxtaposed on the lizard Oz?

Want an end to the lizard Oz social engineering programs that see its obsessions jump to the top of the page?



Over the obsession with 18C and PC culture and the 'muzzling of free speech', when in reality the Lathams of the world can put out a stream of toilet humour and then be proudly published by the Terror?

Don't buy the lizard Oz ...


Want to democratise the Murdochians?

Why not just demolish them?

Insanely bored by the constant reptile desire to break the ABC - an exercise already well advanced - so that they can publish constant hymns to the Catholic education system, or run other absurd stories?


Don't buy the Currish Snail ...


Of course things quickly start to get repetitive with all the usual sanctimonious, righteous blather about political correctness ...

So the pond might just branch out a little. Thought about cable cutting?


Though it's just as handy to get them to supply the service to you at vast expense, and get them to pay you to take it, so that they can boast of increased market penetration, while running a business model sure to fail ...


Want to end the era of big Murdoch?

Well the pond should just throw in a few other rags, if we want to end the era of big Murdoch.

Yes, there's no reason to buy the HUN, home of the Bolter, in any circumstance, and any Adelaide reader who protests that it's a one newspaper town and what to do, might the pond just suggest that the age of tree killer editions should now be long gone from the world ...

If you can't find something to read or watch on the full to overflowing intertubes, you're not trying

There are plenty of guides to suspect material which should be dropped from the reading list...



Tired of wasteful domestic spending on Murdoch crap?


Here's another tip, if you want to make big cuts on wasteful Murdochian movie expenditure. If aware that a movie has come from a certain source ...


... then pirate it. It's best to have a proxy and if you're worried about ethical matters, feel free to pay for any movie product not financed by Murdochians ...

Want to slash News Corp, especially tree killer editions that keep blathering on about coal?


Well yes, any step taken to slashing local Murdochians is a help, but why limit ambitions?

When it comes to climate denialism, coal and the like, the Murdochians pose a serious threat to the planet, and now the Donald is going to enact that threat.

It's always good to think globally ...



Worried about the way that the Catholic Boys' Daily ritually promotes the destruction of public schooling?


Well education is vital ... if we're not to end up as dumb as Mark Latham and the Terrorists ...

Of course it's hard to make boycotts stick. People forget, there's a constant need for education and a reminder of past injustices ...

History should play a role in any school curriculum ...


The truth?

They wouldn't know the truth if Russian prostitutes pissed it on them in a golden shower ...

But won't a war on the Murdochians produce poverty for a select bunch of elite journalists?


Them's the breaks,  because in that last gobbet, it's possible to notice the grandiose, psychotic sweep of the Napoleonic, or better Stalinist, hand, whereby people are moved, things are shut down, buildings abolished, while the peacock struts about talking of his vision ...

Blacks are shuttled about, the poor are displaced, and taxi-drivers get their arms broken ...

This from a man who thinks breaking an arm is a significant achievement ...


And speaking of corrosive influence, and machine media and paid lobbyists for Murdoch, this is just a humble starter...

Hopefully the pond will someday be able to publish this sort of headline ...


Of course you can always keep on buying Murdoch, paying money to a company which supports a Lathamite scribbler with your hard-won cash ...

The pond is all in favour of free choice, and the right of people to decide ... and if this is what you want, feel free to take it ...


On a good day, when he's on his meds and off the twitter, that sort of noon day rambling attempt to do a Donald might come out this way ..


Well yes, speaking of outer suburban and regional interests, what better way forward than to shut down the Surry Hills bunker?

Might it be relocated to Tamworth?

Barners would be ever so pleased.

Meanwhile, the pond can think of dozens of other outlets that, free or subscriber, are more deserving of support ...

And here's hoping that the likes of David Rowe will not want for a crust, with more Rowe here ...





2 comments:

  1. Hi Dorothy,

    I think Latham has hit the nail on the head here.

    The COLAGIN (how snappy) is so insular and self absorbed that it fails to notice the deep psychological failings and unsuitability of people it elects to lead their own parties.

    People like Abbott and Rudd and…oh Latham.

    DiddyWrote

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh no, DW, I'm sure that Latham is very well aware of the failings and unsuitability of everybody else.

      But I did appreciate his little listicle: a concise summary of the entire alt-right mythology in 10 easy lessons.

      Delete

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