In which the pond is blessed by a visitor to the lizard Oz ...

Beggars can't be choosers, and so the pond keeps digging away in the hope of striking pay dirt at reptile HQ, and sometimes it gets lucky …

Indeed, indeed, though the pond, coming from assorted tribes who were deemed inappropriate for the lucky country - Irish, German and Catholic - is a tad sensitive about such matters …

Times change of course, and these days coming from Fenian stock isn't as much of a problem as it was in the days of disgraceful behaviour by the likes of Daniel Mannix …

Ah to be sure, to be sure …

Now the pond doesn't harbour grudges, and these days is happy to join in the game …

If we must have a conversation about people the pond doesn't want in country, it's happy to provide a short, unbiased list …

Poms

People who write for The Spectator, whether local or colonialist UK

Poms who want to tell the pond what to think and whom to discriminate against

People who work for that damned American Rupert Murdoch

Americans who tell the pond what to think and whom the pond should discriminate against 

Local reptiles, who should be exported to a foreign country, say New Zealand or Tasmania 

Poms who routinely beat around the bush and won't get to the point …

Oh and Queenslanders if you insist ...

You see, the pond has provided its list from the get go, as a discussion starter, but this chappie Murray is a tease.

It's clear enough from the opening still one of the mobs he's gunning for … those pesky, difficult blacks who insist on getting the reptiles and the racist Bolter agitated and upset …

Hmm, is it fair to expel all the Dutch simply because of the Bolter? What about the Boers, won't someone think of the Boers? (Calling the mutton Dutton…)

Uh huh, but who does this Murray chappie want banned? Oh he talks a fine talk, but where's his list?

In the old days, it would have been easy enough …

Must we dance around an entire column before this chappie gets to the point?

Will there be another photo that makes things clear, and add more to the Alf Garnett point about pesky, difficult blacks?

Indeed, indeed, and the world has paid many times over in many places … there's little doubt about it …

Of course the thing about bigots is that they never admit to their bigotry and xenophobia, but instead dress it up with horror stories …

You know, Mexican rapists and all that stuff …

Why is it so hard to admit that you just hate wogs and blacks and chinks and dagoes and anyone … well anyone who's different, and therefore by definition suspect and threatening and intimidating …

Well yes, but can we at least have a sign, a photo, indicating the people we should all fear?

Build the wall, build the wall, but sheesh, there might be trouble down the track with Brexit …

Now can we get back to the real problem, and can the illustrators send the pond a sign?

Ah, right, message clear ...

Thank the long absent lord that the decent chappie didn't mention Xianity.

If there's one thing that sticks in the pond's craw on a Sunday, it's for those clap-happy do-gooder Xians to come out of their lairs, and start preaching from the bible …

And so to the lat gobbet and the big reveal for those wondering who this Murray chappie is and how and why he ended up scribbling amongst the reptiles ...

Yes, he's one of the Speccie mob, but not one of the local dinkum lads, he's from that land of the Poms that invented the fine art of bigotry … or, if they didn't invent it, they certainly refined it to an almost perfect art … and here he is, flown in to yet again save the lucky country …

Hmm, it must have been the combination of Murray and St Patrick's Day that sent the pond off … 

No matter, here's a disclaimer ...