Why go shopping when you can visit the Speccie mob?
Truth to tell the pond thought long and hard about whether any illustration should have been used to lure readers in to this howl of pain by one Terry Barnes …
The pond settled on a compromise. Run it on a Friday night where few would see it, and passing possums could quickly run up the nearest gum tree, and feel safe.
It was so raw and raging, the passion so intense, the vivid hurt shocking to see … and yet a simple chant might have replaced all the words.
"Bloody women … they're all the same."
"Bloody women … they're all the same."
You see, bloody women, they're all the same …
Oh they're so smug and righteous and full of virtue and moral superiority and they're insufferable and such scheming, clever hussies, and they're all in it together.
Oh they pretend to be different, but they're all the same ...
You see? "Bloody women … they're all the same."
And even worse the fix is in, and all is lost, and it's backs to the walls, brave lads, or they'll do you an injury …
Oh damn you, hussies and harpies, with your progressive punditry …
All is lost, all is rooned, all at an end, and it's all the fault of computers and the intertubes, and there's nothing more to be said, everything is lost, desolation and despair is all that's left, it's the end …
This is the end, beautiful dinkum cobber bloody beaut mate friend
This is the end, my only bloody beaut dinkum cobber friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans for men to rule the world, the end
Of everything that stands, 10,000 years of sublime hunter patriarchy, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
This is the end, my only bloody beaut dinkum cobber friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans for men to rule the world, the end
Of everything that stands, 10,000 years of sublime hunter patriarchy, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your bloody beaut dinkum cobbler eyes, again ...
Phew, the pond suddenly felt the need to be reminded of a healthy masculine activity.
Take it away Jim ...
But stay the hand, hold back the vorpal blade, no more snickering from the footman, all is not lost …
Here is Donald McDonald's epic contribution this day … a review of a catalogue, done with his usual incisive manly wit, keen male eye, and sharp masculine spirit ...
Stuff! Intriguing! Fascinating! The pond should have gone shopping after all …
Is there just time to get a little cash for the wild excitement of extravagant purchases? Perhaps Wilcox could help?
Awww, what a lovely way to end the working Friday, DP. Now off to the pub for a few beers then grab a few pussies like a real man is supposed to do.
ReplyDeleteWow... "TEN THOUSAND YEARS of Western Civilisation" ! I've no idea who Terry Barnes may be, but I'm damn impressed. Not even the Oreo has managed to push the origins of Western Civilisation (whatever that may actually be) back past the time of Classical Greece, but Tezza has managed to shove it back almost an additional eight Millennia. Take that, Murdoch Reptiles -the Speccie is coming for you!
ReplyDeletehahaha maybe he is including Ancient Egypt as part of our Western Civilisation?
DeleteWell Stonehenge was built in stages from about 3000 BCE, so that's at least 5000 years of "Western Civilisation". But maybe he means the time since the Lascaux cave paintings which date from about 17,000 years ago.
DeleteTake the two and average them (5000+17000/2) and you get 11,000 years. So include the standard error correction and there you have it: 10,000 years of Western Civilisation ! Oh you sad-faced doubting Thomases.
What a rip snorting winner Tezza is, and what impeccable maths GB ...
DeleteGB, oh dear, don't you really mean (5000+17000)/2?
Deletesorry to get all Polonius, but BODMAS
It's a simple stack notation, sldr, in which things 'happen' in the order in which they are encountered. Like using a simple arithmetic calculator which doesn't have brackets and can't interpret either polish or reverse polish, so the sequence determines:
Delete5000
+
17000
/
2
=
And that's the way it would be entered into the calculator, yes ?