It being a Saturday, the reptiles delivered a couple of exceptional exercises in hand-wringing and shouting at clouds, and the pond was torn between nattering "Ned" and the impartial dog botherer, always on hand to show why the reptiles are the most impartial lizards of all in this troubled land …
And it sounded like the dog botherer was on song ...
But then, who better than nattering "Ned" when it comes to dealing with a crisis in conservatism?
The country, neigh whinny neigh, the entire world, has been in crisis in "Ned's" mind for some time, and anything - Barners, the Donald, Malware - can trigger a rant ...
A crisis here, a crisis there, everywhere a crisis, and with so many clouds to shout at …
Of course the pond had to pay attention, though it was obvious it would be a long, grim haul through existential despair ...
Phew, already deep in the swamp of rhetoric, but fortunately the pond decided to lay in a few cartoons, a kind of popcorn or munchies to help the "Ned" porridge go down.
There's only so much hand-wringing, with so many obvious answers, that can be taken in one dose without a little visual relief …
But let's not just worry about the Donald, the whole pack of cards is collapsing ...
Sad.
You see, there's "Ned" confessing that the lizard Oz is a complete waste of time. How else to explain that conservatives in Australia have almost no cultural power and little institutional power?
Progressives to the left of him, progressives to the right, everywhere progressives, and the Catholic Boys' Daily is bereft, as the Catholic church is in eclipse.
Everything is rooned, or will be rooned, or has been rooned, or could be rooned, and so the pond reached for a cartoon ...
Damn you gays, damn you and your impression that you're part of humanity, and might lead a normal life.
Can't you see the damage you're doing to poor "Ned" with all this talk of new norms and new families? Why the lad had to bring out the inverted commas - the most potent form of argument in lizard land - to talk of "modern" families, just so people will understand he's not talking about a sitcom …
It's more than a reptile can cope with, all this "modern" stuff ...
Oh the inter tubes, oh the tragedy, oh four channels and everything on, and dammit, we're not even at base camp.
Time for another cartoon ...
Now back to nattering "Ned", and around this point it began to wonder what it must be like to live the life of a portentous, pompous humbug, outraged by almost everything around him? And carrying on like some old-fashioned card-carrier announcing that the end of the world was nigh …
Sorry, the pond just felt the need to take an extended half-time break before plunging back into the world of a shattered "Ned", as he endures a moral crisis and is alarmed by moral crusades (sssh, please, no-one mention "science", you know how that agitates the reptiles so) ...
Oh dear, before we get into "Ned" sobbing into his hankie about little Johnny and the good old days, please waiter, another cartoon ...
Oh dear sweet lord, he's not going to go on about the bush, the Anzacs, the potent power of King Chuck and 'leets, is he?
Yes indeed, pick on the poofters and the minorities who can't fight back, it's the Liberal way to victory … and a message sponsored by the Catholic church and the comfortable lizard 'leets as they recline in their leather chairs …
And meanwhile, somehow an orderly change in government becomes an existential crisis reflecting the complete moral collapse of the country …
Well the pond promised the usual nattering "Ned" show, and did the hysteric deliver …
Who was it who talked about - with wild comic effect - the need to take a chill pill every so often?
And now, as John Oliver might say, this ...
Truly a wondrous wiffle-piffle rant by "Ned" containing many of the usual gems. Particularly this:
ReplyDeleteNed: "...Howard, a ruthless pragmatist. He surprised his opponents and the progressive class by turning his interpretation of conservatism into a weapon of political attack and electoral gain - yes, electoral gain."
Yes indeed, such amazing electoral "gain" that the moment Howard got control of both houses, his "weapon of political attack" not only lost his party government in a bit of a landslide (lost 22 Reps and 2 Senate seats), Howard himself was unceremoniously bum's rushed out of his own safe Liberal seat.
The "conservatives" just can't admit that ever happened, can they. It's a wonderful example of superiority complex based on suppressing the memory of any failures, no matter how large.
I cannot help thinking that Ned is unconsciously making an argument, not against the political right in Australia, but against conservatism itself. He seems to be acknowledging the lack of any moral base and is simply bemoaning the ineffectiveness of the spin & distraction. I think the old chap may be losing his faith. He is already "at large" so he may not be taking his meds.
ReplyDeleteOn another issue
https://www.smh.com.au/entertainment/celebrity/private-sydney-bedridden-mogul-exercises-power-by-email-20180308-p4z3dd.html
What will happen if Murdoch shuffles off the stage? Will his reptile army grind to halt? Will the heirs and successors want carry on with his loss-making vanity project with its cargo of freeloaders. What will DP do? There will still be RWNJs - surely they will need watching.
Hi Dorothy,
ReplyDeleteNowhere in this tedious twaddle does nattering Ned acknowledge or even seem to understand that for the last forty years so called “Conservatism” throughout the Western world has been promoting an extreme economic model that is diametrically opposed to the values of liberal democracy.
“there is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women, and there are families.” Margaret Thatcher
Rich individuals, corporations and multinationals (or more accurately transnationals) have bought massive influence in the political right. In return for this funding they have pushed a narrow interpretation of free market capitalism. One in which they pay little or no tax but enjoy the protection and infrastructure of the nation state.
These parasites on the body politic aren’t interested in conservative social mores or jingoistic nationalism other than ways to influence enough people to vote against their own best interests.
You would have thought Kelly would realise this by just looking at his own “American” employer.
DiddyWrote
But, butt DW; Neddles can only look at his American employer in exactly the same way as he looks at his Australian 'heroes' (eg Menzies, Howard - but not, I think, Santamaria in his case). Namely, with totally delusional eyes !
DeleteAfter all, what are ya gunna believe: reality, or your own KoolAided eyes ? The whole way of life for a Wingnut reptile is predicated on seeing and believing only your tribe's ruling delusions. Especially if your overblown remuneration depends on it.
One must always be wary of "extreme individual self expression". Look what happened to Barnaby and Tones.
ReplyDelete(apologies for the perverted commas)
David Dennison Goes to North Korea - a ladybird book for ages 7 - 9.
ReplyDeleteWayne Swan on twitter today:
ReplyDelete"Paul Kelly unwittingly explains in an article what Galbraith summed up in a sentence: "The modern conservative is engaged in one of [the] oldest exercises in moral philosophy...the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness."
Hmm, I wish it was as simple and, well, as innocent, as just 'selfishness'.
DeleteI think is is rather the force of 'righteousness'. It's no coincidence that Egyptian Pharoahs, Chinese Emperors and Roman Caesars claimed to be 'gods', nor that European Monarchs invariably claimed 'divine right'.
To the Neddies of this world, conservativeness is godliness. And we should just all shut up and obey - oh, and yes, pay lots of tribute too (render unto Caesar) so there is plenty of selfishness included in there. But basically, the right to control our minds and compel our obedience is what it's all about.
And that is its own 'justification' so no additional moral approval is required.