Saturday, March 24, 2018

In which the pond does a reptile omnibus for those who stay up late on the weekend ...


Well that was passing strange … one minute the stringent reptile paywall was there, and the next minute it was gone …

It might come back again, or it might not. The reptiles might have realised they were cutting off their noses to spite their frill-necked blue tongues, or they might not.

Whatever, the pond was devastated to discover it was a bit like the Donald's Mexican wall - not paid for by Mexico, and not very long.

There was the pond thinking that the reptiles had retreated into their Surry Hills bunker - what a boon for humanity and civilisation - and now punters can drop back in for a modest sampling …

Not that the pond thinks this will harm the business model. Either you like the goods enough to pay for them, or you don't, and the pond is but a gnat on the side of the behemoth elephant.

Not to worry. The sudden gushing of the goods led to a wealth of material, and none more rich than the moping, whining dog botherer attending to his civic duty …


What to say about an idiot? If democracy in local government matters, get out and vote. If you don't give a flying fuck, just pay the fine and shut up with the moaning and the whining already …

How hard is that? It's like the goose rabbiting on about mandates. No one votes on specific policies, a platform is presented and no one gets to chose with a vote, and with a bit of luck, some of the mandate might be implemented, or it might just have been a pack of lies and bullshit anyway … like Malware's promise to deliver a high class NBN at a very cheep cheep price …

It's like that talk of the abyss of hyper-partisanship. The pond would like to think it was radicalised by the folly of the war criminal antics of the Lord Downer and dog botherer kind in the Iraq war, but truth to tell, it began to take a certain view when Vietnam was presented as the way to fix what ailed the dominoes of South East Asia ...

What's even worse is when the goose decides to take the onion muncher's idea of reforming parliament seriously … because (a) he'd need a referendum and (b) it's a silly idea anyway, devised by a politician who was completely incompetent at negotiation and compromise - a bit like the dog botherer trying to work out why democracy might happen to involve voting in a council election …

Please watch the cogs in the ancient clock move very slowly …


It was long before this point that the pond began to regret the paywall opening up the Red Sea, only to reveal that Moses had long scarpered and all we were left with was the dog botherer trying to fill in his column for the week.

But he wouldn't be so fatuously stupid as to scribble a line in the style of"The first lesson must be for politicians to stick to promises", would he?


Not only would he be stupid enough to scribble that line, he'd be stupid enough  to scribble "Turnbull seems to have learned the lesson about not breaking promises" …

The pond stripped the political messages out that were attached to this list, but there's nothing wrong with the summary ...


And so to another matter, though in a way it involves the dog botherer again …

Stray passers-by will perhaps not have noted the pond noting the Mocker, rabbiting on about black comedy in a righteous and solemn way …

It was extremely tiresome, and the only alternative identity for the Mocker - apart from the dog botherer - would be Cory Bernardi … the man constantly aspiring to knock the onion muncher off the pond banner and take top dog position himself.

It turns out that Caroline Overington addressed a message to the Mocker and the aspirational Corgi ...


Well this is a blog, so where's the harm?


You'd have to pay 13.50 euros to see that at the Musée d'Orsay(there's an amazing collection of impressionists in the museum and it's well worth a visit), and it's not so shocking, nor are the many riffs that have since been done on it …


That's the entire point of art, however flawed, and comedy, for better or worse, is also an art.

It's possible to hold a couple of thoughts in the head at the same time … the pond didn't like the work of Bill Leak, the pond doesn't like the use of cunt in swearing, Anglo-Saxon though it might be, and the favourite word it was of one of the pond's female bosses who liked to shock the men folk around her …

But Leak got to do his crude outlining and his thing, and some forms of verbal antics get a day pass, and if you don't like it, don't buy a ticket to the museum ...



Why is this so funny?

Well it was only the other day that prattling Polonius got himself lathered up about Mike Carlton … in the media thingie that he tiresomely boasts - at each point its published - how he was ahead of the ABC … primly suggesting that Manners Maketh the Canine and suggesting that Carlton should attend Nancy's Courtesy Class for daring to say fucketty-fuck in a couple of tweets …

Of course Polonius only does it because he's a pompous righteous prick much inclined to teasing ...


Well he might say 'fucking' and drink gin, and imagine cricket was a game for gentle men …


15k for a Nick Howson cricket painting? Now that's a game for gentle men ...

Never mind, somehow it struck the pond that being a gin-sodden cricket lover with a taste for salty language was better than being a fucking pompous prick with a pineapple stuck up his arse …

Oh dear, where did that Tamworth speak come from? 

And speaking of promises broken, there's that NBN again, and that fucking time-serving idiot Mitch Fifield … (yes, the pond's drop outs are now much more reliable than the cogs in the dog botherer's brain).

Better wrap things up with Overington ...


Hmm, would Polonius have read all that? Or would he still be off making gin jokes because that's the kind of sophisticated witticism young comedians on the ABC should aspire to?

If only it was a comfort to imagine the good lord sending him off to purgatory for his crimes of malice, if only She was more than the pond's imaginary friend ...

Never mind, time to check out real comedy with David Rowe, and as always, with more Rowe here … there's nothing like a good laugh from a man who wanted to nuke North Korea and the Iranians, and now has the chance to do it …




3 comments:

  1. The Tonightly skit was a riff on the fact than John Batman was, in fact, a [norty word] - and that the name of the electorate should be changed. Kevin Bailey got dragged into it because his (self-)promotional material for the election failed to mention the name of the seat he was contesting.

    He may or may not be a [norty word], but he's obviously an egotistical incompetent fool. A kindred spirit of Bernardi's, in other words.

    Just for fairness and/or balance, here's the skit: https://youtu.be/1in5gIQFDiw (Warning: contains norty words, duh.)

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  2. A suitable antidote to the sex obsessed puritans such as Bernadi is provided by an amusing talk via Ted Oslo titled the Virginity Fraud.

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  3. "What to say about an idiot?"

    Superlative commentary nonetheless, DP, but indeed wasted on the puerile Botherer. He really doesn't set a high degree of difficulty.

    But what about the Overington Wonder ? A contribution that is basically sane and sensible from a reptile ? Can't see her lasting long if she keeps that up, can you ?

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