Thursday, March 08, 2018

In which the pond does a Seinfeld about feuding, fussing, navel-gazing, fluff-gathering, tweet-attending reptiles ...



Thursdays, as reliably as a broken clock, used to be savvy Savva day - where has she gone, why has she forsaken the pond, let alone the reptiles and Malware, who is rapidly lurching towards the 30th poll without any savvy help at all?

In her absence, the reptiles have indulged in a bout of front page navel-gazing and fluff-gathering stories about the meejia …

Not that there's anything wrong with fluff-gathering and navel-gazing. The noble art of omphaloskepsis has been practiced since ancient times …


No, no, that isn't what a female reader might be thinking … please, Greg Hunt the wiki link …though the pond will concede it's sometimes hard to spot the difference between small hands, penis- and navel-gazing ...

Never mind, as a result, tremendous scientific advances have been made …


Sort of like a black hole, or if you will, the lizard Oz and the practice of journalism …

Where to begin? Well the pond must first follow up on the Tingle wars. As any self-respecting Oz journalist would do, reptile Dana doubled down on her first post ...


… with this ...


And that set off an epic amount of navel-gazing …with this over at Crikey as a result of the first Dana outing ...

 

… while things raged and kept bubbling along at that Tingle tweet



Real news? 

Ah, but the pond has done Moorice on climate, and savvy Savva has disappeared and no-one knows where she's gone, and besides, it wasn't Speers that got dragged into it, the bromancer was also mentioned in despatches …


Et tu bromancer?

 


But the reptiles had achieved their aim and the smear had worked and the Tingle was clearly rattled with another defensive tweet today

That's how the reptiles work, deflect from their own sins, omissions and commissions, and double down on the smears ...

Meanwhile, there was another epic bout of navel-gazing yesterday, because a reptile copped a booing and a jeering and a sneering …

The funny thing about this one? Apart from the way it involved another junior lizard Oz Jesuit, schooled by Major Mitchell in the school of persecutory journalism?

Well there were any number of ironies… but first the pond must remind everyone how routinely the Major and many others in the lizard Oz deplore social media, and the fiendish twitter, and how it's the ruination of pretty much everything …


Now the reptiles seizing the chance to troll Plibersek isn't surprising … it's what they do. 

They're obsessed with Adani, and spend much time chasing the chimera of comrade Bill and whether he's truly loyal to clean, decent, family-friendly, dinkum Oz coal, oi, oi, oi, and three fifths of fuck all time exploring the business model for the mine, climate science, the corporate track record of Adani's backers, or anything actual journalists might do …

But none of that bemused the pond so much as the way that Rachel B's story quickly descended into a an accumulation of tweets ...


The cawing Crowe returns? And to claim asking questions about Adani is valid? 

But the reptiles never ask about Adani, all they care about is whether comrade Bill and the rest conform to the reptiles' religion. Are they true believers in dinkum clean Oz coal, oi, oi, oi, and deplore climate science, or are they heretics and vile schismatic, renegade, iconoclastic, nonconformist, dissident dissenters …?

And so any chance for a religious test is a chance worth taking …

Meanwhile, the twitter component of the yarn kept on flowing and flowing ...


Not to make too much of a point of it, on and on the twitter references kept going, and the cawing Crowe came back for a few more serves, and all this social media twittering was reported in depth in the lizard Oz ...



Now there's a punchline, a pay-off to this story, but much like the fluff-gathering, navel-obsessed reptiles, the pond is going to delay it.

You see, there was another irony for the day, because Dame Groan decided to chip in and get agitated in a way that Dame Groan seems increasingly to be managing these days, giving the appearance that she has far too much time on her hands, and only the lizard Oz handy for a relieving vent and a way out of distracting boredom and a sense of ennui.

And the irony kicked in straight away, with the reptiles used Dame Groan's whine as a chance to deliver a woman-enhancing ad from the Wales, as it was once known, until Phillip Adams ruined things…

 

After enduring the women-empowering Wales ad, lizard Oz readers could enjoy the splendid spectacle of young Brown - is there an echo of the power of brown coal in that name, oi, oi, oi? - trolling Plibersek about Adani, oi, oi, oi, agnus dei - as if no one had seen Micallef make a joke about Melbourne post codes … and the pond guesses they hadn't at that point, because it was on the show last night ...


It's good that Dame Groan is so honest. 

It was a political question for a political newspaper, pursuing a relentless political line, and the process was as nakedly obvious and as pathetic as poor Dana sent out to monster the Tingle, and never mind any collateral damage to herself or to others of the bromancer/Speers kind …




And so with that talk of a "dubious us-versus-them campaign" completed the virtuous circle of reptile irony, as the reptiles keep on with their 'Adani love versus the rest', 'Fairfax and ABC hate versus love of reptiles and Adani and dinkum Oz coal, oi, oi, oi' campaigning …

And here's the pay-off to this social media, wittering, twittering set of stories - come back savvy Savva all is forgiven …

You see, right after all the tweets and the guff and Greg "if not brown then certainly black Adani coal" Brown, and Plibersek and the whole damn thing, Rachel B felt the need to report on the actual content of Plibersek's speech.

And for that, bugger the pond dead, it's as true as digital life, they had to call on AAP to help Rachel B with additional reporting …

And what do you know, once you got through the fog of all the crap about Adani and the navel-gazing and the twittering that got in the way, there were actual questions to be asked about pay for women ...


And to anyone who made it to the end of this epic shaggy dog story, here's where the pond landed.

Never was it made clearer - in so many navel-gazing, fluff-gathering words - why the lizard Oz, Dana, Rachel B, Dame Groan and the rest of the children of Major Mitchell totally fucked and a complete waste of time …

And why your average 16 year old practising the ancient art of Onanism probably has a better understanding of the universe, climate science and dinkum clean Oz coal, oi, oi, oi than your average coal-loving reptile …not to mention the gender equity pay gap.

And now to the Pope of the day, which might be hinting at the extraordinary, lavish, possibly exceedingly generous $200k that Australia donated to help with earthquake relief, while blathering about the dangerous excursions of China into the Pacific … with more hinting Pope here



1 comment:

  1. The Groan re Plibersek: "But I guess economics has never been her strong suit."

    Nor yours, Groanie, nor yours. Using the label "economics" to explain anything much - but paricularly male-female remuneration differences - is a sure indicator that "economics [is] not her strong suit".

    My recall about the 'male-female pay gap' is that the economic "explanation" goes something like this: "women are paid less because they aren't as valuable as men". Sure they aren't ... who could possibly believe otherwise ?

    You can think about this wise and perspicacious contribution from 'The Economist':

    Women are as ambitious as men. They earn the majority of university degrees. In America, they now ask for promotions as often as men.

    But it's the price women pay for motherhood that holds them back. In Britain, 70% of mothers reduced their working hours or switched to a less demanding job compared with 11% of fathers.

    In Australia it's 56% of mothers and 19% of fathers, while in France 55% of mothers scaled back compared to 13% of fathers.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpE8ttCEd-w But you don't have to actually watch the video, just read the text.

    So that's it then, it's just the price they pay. Utterly stupid of them then to pay that price just for the ecstasy of continuing the human race.

    Try this one, just for comparison:
    Women are being paid less to do the same job as men, judging by the productivity of male and female employees. Our study found that women are paid 16% less for making a contribution of the same value to their employer.

    https://theconversation.com/women-paid-less-for-same-contribution-to-work-and-sexism-is-to-blame-study-83052

    ReplyDelete

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