If the pond hadn't been suffering from an overdose of contempt, it might have felt a swell of pity for poor old spineless jellyback Malware late yesterday, when the reptiles of Oz and the onion muncher came out with their song of coal ...
No matter what the hapless impotent failure might try the hate singers will keep singing their song, and the onion muncher won't stop until Malware is dead and buried ...
It led poor savvy Savva to send an urgent message to her hero this day ...
Life is worth living, she reassured her hero, counselling him against a shift to Victoria, and by today, a few of the reptiles had recovered their senses a little and realised that Labor was the enemy ...
Nattering "Ned" was on hand to signal hope for jellyfish everywhere ...
But doom and gloom littered the pages like an Ancient Mariner ruining a wedding feast ...
And Lloydie, the coal-loving, climate science-denying greenie environmentalist was on hand to add to the gloom, though it seems he'd confused the proverbial shit sandwich with some grit ...
A grit sandwich and a magic pudding?
Norman Lindsay would be rolling in his grave, but could it get any worse for the spineless one? Please allow the pond to adopt a tone of deep gravitas: indeed it could, because someone had let Dame Slap out of her school and she wasn't happy ...
The pond loves days like these. All it has to do is unleash the hounds, set free the kraken, let the pretty bat monkeys out of the cage to fly ... sic him, Dame Slap, sool the hounds on to him ...
Go him, Dame Slap, fleece him, fetch him, flank him, pen him, and if you have to give him a nip or two, let him feel the teeth on the ankle, the judges won't mind ...
Phew ...
... and the Dame was just warming up on old jellyback ...
Elite-driven?
It's come to this? Nattering "Ned" and Dame Slap celebrating the filthy, vile 'leets, and demanding 'leet-driven action?
Oh sure it's in the interests of coal, climate science denialism, UN conspiracies to introduce world government and MAGA caps, but see how the naughtiness of Malware has reduced the teacher to jibber-jabber incoherence ...
Once upon a time she hated the vile 'leets and all their filthy 'leet projects ... as did all the Murdochians, as do most Murdochians to this day ...
Never mind, Dame Slap might have temporarily lost her mind, but while you can take the teacher out of the classroom, you can't take away those classroom skills and the desire to instruct ...
See how she tries to bring her students into line, save for one pupil who is completely beyond hope ...
Blancmange? The pond has to add a new word to its talk of the spineless jellyback Malware?
Never mind, there's just time to slip in a kind word for the onion-munching coal lover ...
On The Insiders, they acknowledged a deep debt to the onion muncher, what with the onions, the budgie smuggler and of late, the goat ...
Now the pond has other favourites ... banana munching for one ...
But who can deny the deep debt we owe to Malware and the onion muncher, surely the greatest comedy coupling since Laurel and Hardy (let's face it, Abbott and Costello were a little low rent) ... with the goat perhaps the greatest routine of all, as celebrated by Rowe today, with more goaty Rowe here ...
Oh sheesh, the pond has seen that movie before, and it was almost as bad as the ruination of Doug Liman in American Made. Must everything scientology and Tom Cruise touches turn to dross? Does Malware lead a secret fantasy life in which he imagines he's Tom Cruise?
Dame Slap's fans will surely respond to her efforts today, but there was just a couple of others worth an honourable mention:
ReplyDelete1. Savvy Savva: "Voluntary euthanasia legtislation sends the wrong message to the chronically ill and those responsible for their care."
Yep, Savva's righteously right message is simple: "We will insist that even when you have less than a year to live, we will make sure you stay around to experience every last millisecond of terminal agony and that you are denied the dignity of self choice."
2. John Howard: "...says broad protections for religious freedoms are unlikely to pass the Senate if the Yes vote wins."
Yair, I sure hope you're absolutely right there John Winston, your so-called "religious freedoms" are nothing but anti-democatic bullshit that you want to impose on the rest of us. In case you haven't noticed, only a diminishing minority of people believe in your group archosis now.