In which a late-breaking Polonius is better than never ...

The trolling was simply too naked and too obvious, even for the pond ... 

Yet the reptiles love their Lomborgian form of climate denialism, and keep on elevating it up the page, because reptiles do what addle-brained reptiles must do ...

Well, if the pond is going to be trolled, it wants a generous dose of tedious pedantry with it, of a most peculiar prattling Polonius kind, and so it reverted to the dullest in the Oz stable ...

Now right from the get go, there will be some who continue to insist that nattering "Ned" Kelly is the most tedious of the Oz tribe, but could "Ned" come out with a line celebrating a "spurious picture of white privilege in Australia"?

Could "Ned" explain how 'racism' - ah the Donald's beloved use of quotation marks again - is all the fault of the left, banging away at their assorted drums and making a noise that irritates Polonius so?

Everyone knows that the difficult, tricky, pesky coloured folk that litter the country live high on the welfare hog - there's nothing like the circumstances of Newstart to see them off to the spring race season to swig down the champagne.

And just checking up on google's treatment of the prattler, the pond came up with a first-class juxtaposition ...

Oh dear, not someone recalling days of experienced racism, and even duller, a cricketer, dragged out into the light by the Huff here ...

How on earth could his experience be compared to Polonius, who routinely catches taxis driven by coloured folk and even speaks to the odd coloured person about what it's like to catch a lift in Sydney ...

Ah those ever so polite and nice and handsome Anglo-Celtic males.

What charmers they are and how shocking that the wretches never provided any evidence of racism in the lift, when Polonius has personal experience of exotic cab-drivers, working away at an important skill set. 

Driving Mr Gerard, so that he can muse on possible racism amongst exotic cab drivers ...

Now the pond knows that some will immediately revert to other personal experiences and anecdotes. You know, the sort of story that litters the media, Racist, anti-Asian rant on Sydney train caught on camera ...

The pond has to make the obvious point. A train is certainly not a lift or a taxi, or even the offices of the Sydney Institute.

And besides there's every likelihood that the woman was put up to the caper by leftists eager to set a racist Trojan horse rolling ...

Some pedants might even revert to a survey earlier in the year which announced Australia becoming 'a more racist country', survey finds ...

But that's the Reconciliation Australia mob, and everyone, or at least prattling Polonius, knows what that means ...

Some might even mention Pauline Hanson - though at least we now know why Clementine Ford had troubles with her father ...

Let's face it, that burqa stunt wasn't about demonising Islamics. It was about bringing out the best in the likes of prattling Polonius ... he can spot left-wingers from a mile away beating a fake, phoney drum about the sweet Hansonites ...

What a bunch of moaning, whining goody two shoes they are, when all's well in the world, and the coloured folk know their place and drive their taxis for Mr Gerard, and that gives him the time to come up with some very wise insights ...

Sorry,  say what?

"The AHRC has produced evidence about racism experienced by Australians of indigenous and African background. There is no reason to doubt this."

There is no reason to doubt this.

Butt, butt, billy goat, there was the pond doubting it, cogently and forcefully, simply because the wise taxi-catching Polonius had so expertly doubted it, from his vast personal experience of lifts and taxis ...

And around this time the pond immediately knew that sort of concession would be just a cunning ploy, and the clever Polonius would turn things on their heads, and produce a "butt billy goat" ploy, though to be fair, this ploy can be dressed up as an "however" ...

Sublime. It's all the fault of people with mental health problems, and TV advertising never changes anything - which is why the entire advertising game is such a gigantic boondoggle and waste of time - and who on earth has ever caught a lift? Why the experience is so remote the pond can't recall the last time it caught a lift.

Lifts of course only ever being found in CBD office towers ...

And now just to show that there's no prejudice or discrimination at work in Australia, please count down the number of pars before the favourite demon of the reptiles of Oz - Satan himself, or at least a close cousin of Satan - the wretched Waleed Aly - is once again trotted out and soundly spanked for getting it wrong, as he always does ...

Well let's face it, such was the hate pile-on for Yassmin Abdel-Magied that the spoilsport crybaby ran off to London, and where's the fun in that, and that only leaves Aly, so why not keep poking at him? Given that he's different and other and immensely irritating ...

Frankly, the pond is at one with prattling Polonius.

There's simply too many of these coloured folk, or multicultural wretches with peculiar religions wandering around the country, turning up on the telly or scribbling nonsense for the NY Times ...

Just remember this next time you hop into a cab and discover it's being driven by a handsome Anglo-Celtic man ... or perhaps when you share a lift with Gerard Henson and Waleed Aly and wonder why there seems to be a little tension in the air ...

At that point, it's best to remember that everything's for the best in this best of all possible wide brown lands ...

Eek, the soil, the soil! 

The pond was talking about starting hydroponic community gardens in CBD lifts ...

And so, Polonius having established an appropriate level of mindless hysteria, to a Rowe, with more Rowe here ...