loon pond

Ever since Dame Slap has upped her work rate, the pond has come to treasure the weekend ... there's not just nattering "Ned" and prattling Polonius and the dog botherer, there's the Dame, zooming in from her planet to box someone's ears ...

This weekend she's boxing the ears of Americans, in a pitiful attempt to pretend she's not with the preppers and the Red Dawners... as if generations of Republican conspiracy theories and talk of the UN's world government can be shucked off like the husks off a corn cob ...

Ah, at last Roe v. Wade ... safe turf...

Strangely, the pond was certain that Dame Slap was going to remark on the remarkable hypocrisy of Republicans and conservatives in general, most recently notable in the matter of Tim Murphy, in a story broken by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, and with an inevitable outcome here and here ...

Tim was celebrated by Charles B. Pierce at Esquire, here ...where the hot links will be hot ...

The pond is deeply indebted to Pierce for being reminded of jamoke, one of those quaint invented words to be found in slang, with multi-purpose uses, including the evocation of male genitalia ...

And speaking of pricks, what a joy that the gigantic tool known as Harvey Weinstein got taken down, but as usual, the pond had entirely missed the Dame Slap point ... it's entirely up to the states, because how else will we end up with totally different railway gauges and have to spend a huge fortune fixing up the godforsaken mess?

It's around this point that the pond realised that Dame Slap had jumped the shark, nuked the fridge and bumped the stock ...

John Oliver?!

Yes, not just John Oliver but John Oliver from his Daily Show days, as can be found on Comedy Central here ...

Of course Dame Slap could have referenced a more recent John Oliver ...

But that would have taken punters off-site, and that would never do in the world of the Murdochians ... 

Still, it's exciting times when the Dame fills up her column by repeating the points made by Oliver ...

And that's the thing the pond loves about the reptiles. Just like Republicans, they're endearingly, permanently dumb, and they have a memory and attention span as long as the pond's or a gnat ...

The pond was touched that she had never shot a gun until a few years ago. Presumably that's what life is like in the remoter areas of planet Janet, aloof and untouched and uncomprehending ...

And yet, this was before all the very same Dame Slap who so recently strode out into the streets of New York with wild-eyed excitement and began a column this way..

If only Dame Slap had spent a few years in Tamworth. She might have learned of the potency of guns  ... and of dumb fuck MAGA caps ...

Speaking of dumb, and the minds of gnats, the dog botherer was also out and about on this sensitive matter ...

The dog botherer will now perform a spectacular feat. He will deploy identity politics, while deploring identity politics, he will rage at those stumble bums who dare to invoke identity politics, while strutting out amongst identity politics for his own nefarious identity politics purposes ...

Here's how the feat is performed ...

Right there, in that casual aside intended to prove that the dog botherer was hip and perhaps even a tad feminist - "yes, they are usually teenage boys or men" - the dog botherer performs a feat of identity politics.

Now it might be true - who knows, the pond hasn't checked the data lately - but even the truth is no protection against that grave thought crime of identity politics.

Please allow the pond to pause for a cartoon ...

Now let us return to the dog botherer, as he mourns that the Vegas shooter wasn't an Islamic terrorist, and smotes mightily anyone daring to point out that perhaps Republicans, the Donald, and assorted nutters of the NRA are complicit in a crime performed by an older white American male who liked to gamble ...

Indeed, indeed. Commentators who disingenuously disentangle all the many reasons that the United States has ended up a gun-toting mess from the politics of angry white male privilege certainly do a service to the GOP and the Donald ... though whether it's a service to the United States' citizenry is another matter ...

And so to a few cartoons ...

And now a couple for the moron ...