In which the dog botherer assaults the oscillating fan ... and there will be blood ...

What better way to start off a discussion than David Rowe spotting a shark in the water, with more shark-spotting here ...?

The pond could have noted that its page view count for yesterday ended with a "666", and if that isn't a sign of something, the pond doesn't have the first clue about the approaching apocalypse ...

What's interesting about that apocalypse is the way that it's a by-product of the theologically inspired climate denialism litters the lizard Oz like chicken poo in a chook shed ...

They were at it again this day ...

But it also runs rampant through any other discussion in the opinion pages, as the pond discovered when it decided yet again to do an epic homage to the spirit of a William Burroughs' cut-up.

You see, this day there were starkly conflicting stories ... on the one hand, the oscillating fan, wringing his hands as he always does ...

... and across the aisle, the dog botherer, deeply angry and driven by hate, as is his hero ...

The dog botherer is in the bowling alley and is armed with a pin, and there will be blood ...

It's the perfect microcosm of a "Malware versus the Onion Muncher" fight to the death ...

The oscillating fan began, in his usual way, by whining and moaning, and feeling a deep sympathy for the suffering of conservatives at their betrayal and martyrdom ...

Like that flopping shark in the water, the dog botherer would have nothing of this.

Reared on populist stereotypes and a vicious desire for blood, he went straight for the throat, and joined a flock of other mindless wonders blathering on about the killing season ...

It's always cliché city time in dog botherer land ... as he unleashes the onion munching kraken ...

Now the moment anyone reads a line like "Abbott rails against the zeitgeist with a sceptical and intelligent critique", they should realise that they're off in barking mad, howling at the moon climate denialist la la land ...

And in that world, the sort of talk by the flapping oscillating fan is just the noise of the wind as it whispers in the turbines, delivered by someone who strayed in from Fairfax or the ABC ...

Of course it helps in this sort of approach if you believe - as both the dog botherer and the onion muncher do - that climate science is a lot of nonsense, and possibly even a gigantic fraud, hoax or conspiracy ...

Up against this sort of theological fixation, the oscillating fan doesn't know what to do or say ... and nor do any of the others, including the recently exasperated asbestos lady ...

He doesn't need to say or do anything, okay? A bomb just wants to go off ...

A bomb is made to explode. That's its meaning. Its purpose. Your life is empty because you spend it trying to stop the bomb from becoming. And for who? For what? You know what a bomb is, Julie, that doesn't explode? It's a cheap gold watch, buddy.

And with apologies to Dennis Hopper, it's on to watch the hapless oscillating fan trying to defuse the bomb,  ticking away like a cheap gold watch  ...

Reactionary commentators?

Is that the best the oscillating fan's got for the dog botherer?

He glories in being reactionary, his entire being is as a reactionary bomb ...

What's this meaningless jibber-jabber about loyalty? It's all about a blind, unreasoning devotion to climate science denialism ... though that has only one ultimate purpose too ...

Let the pounding continue - and let climate science be the cause and the means ...

You see, oscillating fan?

A capacity for spouting the purest, undiluted nonsense, a unique capacity to spout crap, is an essential part of any fundamentalist reactionary and it reaches a kind of weird essence of purity in that line about the onion muncher's "acceptance that climate change is 'real'" ...

Consistent strand across the decade? What, that "climate science is crap"?

And why the quotation marks about "real"? Is reality in need of a "reality" check?

What it signifies is that we're in the company of a moron ...

Confronted by this "real" dilemma and an understanding of where dog botherer "reality" has led us, how is it possible for the oscillating fan to have any sort of come back?

He's driven by a sense of boredom?

Totally clueless.

He's driven by hate and a shark-like thirst for revenge and blood ... and whatever it takes, climate denialism, getting the dog botherer wildly excited and howling for a goat sacrifice to appease the volcano gods are all grist to the mill ... along with a triumphalist sense of righteousness ...

An ugly season approaches? That's what he wants, that's what he yearns for ... a pogrom, a jihad, an absolution, a cleansing with blood ...

The clue is in the dog botherer's talk of climate evangelism ...

Climate evangelism?

Now the wags might joke at the way that the onion muncher routinely reverts to religion while discussing science, because that's all a fundamentalist Catholic can understand ...

“By implication, Abbott superstitiously questions the foundations of science, and in doing so, he questions the same scientific method which discovered wifi and penicillin, and proved the Earth was not flat. 

 “Abbott presents an absurdly and intentionally distorted viewpoint, reminiscent of a conspiracy theorist.” (here)

But that's the entire point.

That's the dog botherer and onion muncher's scientific method.

Braying about the theology of science, and climate evangelism is exactly the same as that chum of theirs, the American "moron" ... and that's why the dog botherer is braying for blood ...

The onion muncher has cast the climate denialism burley in the water, and now there's the tang of blood memories in the mouth ...

And what has Malware got up against this primal shark "reality"?

Well there's always a celebratory First Dog cartoon, in full here ...

Or the Pope, celebrating the arrival of the "robots" here ...