Of all the reptiles, the pond has the softest of spots for the battered, gnarled, sullen, curmudgeon-ish one that routinely surveys the ABC, Fairfax and suchlike for signs of deviancy or heresy ...
Almost anything can set him off in a rage, but anything to do with Gough is like a lighted taper to a stick of dynamite ... (well maybe a detonator would be better).
The pond was watching by accident a Drum the other night, and they were all having far too much fun, laughing, and joshing, and teasing each other ... it was like a session of jolly hockey-sticks.
By golly, a dose of prattling Polonius would have sorted them out quikstix ... even the bromancer, as he cheekily proclaimed that the lizard Oz had gone gutter tabloid with its attention-seeking 'losers is winners' screecher headline, and where was the post-ironic, post-modernist harm in that ... if you didn't mind looking like a loser gutter tabloid intent on getting the social media up in arms with shameless trolling even the Donald might have found a little over the top ...
Polonius can't bear any of that sort of nonsense ... he's more the pursed lip cop type always on patrol ... and always bringing out the larrikin types for a bit of a lurk and a laugh ...
And so to the Gough matter that so enraged poor hapless Polonius this week, with all the usual hereticals in his sights...
Now the pond doesn't much mind if Polonius wants to defend a drunken class traitor of the most tainted kind, and a pompous, dull, leaden member of the Western Districts squattocracy, a treacherous born to rule type who discovered a conscience in later life, and so enraged Polonius even more ...
If Polonius wants to blame the entire conspiracy on a bunch of low life reprehensible Liberal villains, who's the pond to argue?
But it's the only decent conspiracy we've got, and while it's not up there with the Kennedy assassination or the Bay of Pigs or other cock-ups, muddles and classic conspiracies, it's something to be treasured, dug out of the ground every so often and gnawed at ...
When Polonius plays the officious cop and mutters 'move along, nothing to see here, no loitering, keep the line moving', he actually plays into the hands of the conspiracy theorists ...
If he hasn't got something to hide, why is he so insistent there's nothing to hide? If he's so obsessed with the conspiracy, surely there must be a juicy conspiracy lurking at the heart of it?
The result of this sort of slapstick silent comedy policing is all too apparent ...
You see, if the Poms and the Queen and the Yanks are entirely blameless, why then the despicable deed must be all the fault of Polonius's Liberal party and the head prefect ... and what a deplorable coup that was, what a shameless, vile and villainous act ...
Even if it was rewarded by the Australian public by their voting habits, and even if the Gough government was as dodgy as all get out and on its last Khemlani Jim Rex legs, still it was a despicable coup ... and now Polonius wants his mob to take sole credit for the vile and shameless deed?
Does he really want to give those bloody foreigners a clean bill of health in the matter?
By golly, he does, and yet, in doing so, he's wanting us to sheet all the blame home to a class traitor and derelict drunk, as if the drunk was incapable of warning the British government of what he might be up to ... how strange that he should have all his correspondence interred on the basis that the cur's papers were personal rather than the property of the commonwealth ...
There will be many who take a special interest in the prideful preening of Polonius ... as he disdains Hocking for only bringing some new material, nothing of momentous moment of the kind that Polonius himself routinely produces.
The sight of a reptile gazing at awe at the splendour of his fundament is one of the best reasons to keep a herpetarium ...in much the same way as seeing Polonius in full smoke-blowing rage is fun for the ages ...
The result of all this smoke is that the pond suddenly realised there might be a fire.
It hadn't thought much about it in the past, and hadn't much minded if the CIA and the Queen had a hand in it. After all, they're regulars in most of the decent conspiracies doing the rounds ...
It's well known, for example, to Donald Trump's supporters that the British monarchy are part of the reptilian elite, and are in league with Jewish bankers to rule the world, and they ordered the assassination of Diana when she came too close to the truth ...
It's quite possible that giving a nod and a wink to a class traitor down under about seeing and hearing and doing nothing is perhaps small beer for this classy kind of conspirator ...
And so to the ongoing comedy of the moment ...
Polonius: "... there is no record of any kind about what occurred at the Kerr-Palliser meeting."
ReplyDeleteWhich the Prattler seems to consider to be convincing evidence of something or other. However, if there was actually collusion, would the colluders seek to keep a detailed record thereof in official government papers ? Call me naive, but somehow I think not.