If there'd been a feather handy, the pond would have knocked itself down ...
The pond usually pays no attention to Bolter days in the Terror ... despite the constant, incessant, relentless trolling, which has reached some sort of Bolterish crescendo of hysteria when it comes to SSM.
Whenever there was a story doing the rounds, the Bolter would lend a sympathetic ear ... just a quick scroll over the Bolter archives quickly produced this sort of snide snippet ...
Yes Patio World, we see the sort of writer you support ... and whenever there was a chance to throw a few tiles around, the Bolter was in the game and on the spot ... as this culling of splashes confirms ...
The pond could go on and on - in the interminable endless fashion of the Bolter, who has been banging on and on like a dunny door in a Tamworth gale about the dangers and evils of SSM and the threats to religion - but we really should get on to this day's piece, because it's a ripper ...
The pond often wonders why it heads off to the toilet to retch after coming into contact with the Bolter ...
Not of course that the Bolter in any way pandered to the 'no' vote, or encouraged the nattering, negative neighsayers ...
And now, in the Donald way, which is to make every story about him, we now have a Bolter tale of the triumph of tolerance, thanks to his benign absence of bigotry ...
The pond suddenly realised the real game.
The way to extend the Bolter story - like seafood extender in a marinara mix - was to insert photos of feared and hated people, perhaps with pins supplied for the sticking ... and the pond suddenly felt the need to join in ...
Now speaking of changing tunes, where will this leave the Bolter when it comes to the onion muncher?
Well he's done the wicked ABC, so how about railing at Karl ...
We can see how the Bolter will remember this campaign.
The onion muncher getting agitated about a song at a football match? Just free speech ...
Anyone noting that the onion muncher was a fuckwit? An explosion of bigotry against a dear, sweet homophobe ...
Okay, it's easy enough to get a snap of Karl looking dumb. The problem would have been one that made him look remotely clever ... but if we're going to play silly buggers ...
And so to the final gobbet of delusion and self-justification, with yet another token bone flung at the neighsayers ...
Oh fucketty fuck. This is a welcome?
You're going to weaken traditional marriage, and restrict free speech and freedom of religion, and produce many unhappy children around the land, but we're really terribly welcoming, and all this, and all the division and hate and the onion muncher carrying on about a song and the Bolter cheering him on is now all forgotten and in the past, because once you're married, we can really pile on to you and blame you for every social and marital and personal malady in the land ...
That's what you can look forward to in Bolter land 2018, provided that the vastly expensive and completely useless survey produces a result ... which is an actual vote in parliament ... but don't expect the Bolter to ever stop dressing up this completely useless and expensive survey, a chance to express an opinion, as some kind of public vote ...
It's not ... it's just a bloody survey ... and we could have sampled 1500 people with a + or - error of 2.5% to get a clue, at vastly less expense, if all we needed was an expression of opinion ...
But sadly it's already clear from that last little burst from the Bolter that a much larger survey won't stop the bigotry ...
Same-sex marriage will also come at a cost. Worst, it is likely to weaken the marriage tradition designed to keep biological parents together for the benefit of their children ...
Shame on those who feared Australians were such bigots ...
Oh he's such a feral, relentless, mindless fucking bigot ...
Ah well, at least there's Tony Sowersby at the 2015 Bald Archy Prize
Hi Dorothy,
ReplyDeleteThe Bolter has raised his head and sniffed the wind. He has cast his eye about and seen the lay of the land. He has read the tea leaves and seen from the polls that the survey turn out has been high and that the no campaign will very likely be trounced.
So what is a Bolter to do when even his own feral readership are found to be pro SSM?
The mighty Bolter squares his shoulders and cries out, "Reverse Ferret!"
DiddyWrote
Oh, is that what Dame Slap did with Monckton - ran a large "reverse ferret" ?
DeleteI suppose all of us have some things we do once every year or two, and then console ourselves with the rationalisation that "I only did it to remind myself why I don't do it."
ReplyDeleteSuch as ponding the Bolter. With any luck you won't have to do it again until at least 2020.