In which the pond has a gay time with the dog botherer and the Devine ...

The pond is doing its best to help out poor old Crikey, which has at long last discovered the pleasure of reptile observation, as they roam around the herpetarium, biting at fingers and nipping at heels ...

Speaking of holy wars, the reptiles were at it again yesterday ...

Now the pond, in all modesty, fancies itself as a reptile devotee adept at tracking their mercurial moods and flights of fancy.

One of the things that's been torturing them for months is the SSM debate, and when that's combined with the ABC, the dear things get themselves regularly in a right old tizz ...

So it began yesterday with DD, the alleged media editor for the lizard Oz, though an exponent of Dungeons and Dragons might be a better career path:

Yep, it was magpie DD doing another beat up about ABC impartiality ... (the pond can never get enough of the sight of DD glowering at the biased cardigan wearers) ...

Immediately the dog botherer got on to the case, quickly bashing out a short piece of outrage ...

It is of course wondrous when a reptile bigot, in regular company with other reptile bigots, bemoans group think ...

The pond regularly tries hard to imagine a publication more inclined to group think than the lizard Oz, and regularly fails ...

You see, if you say anything contrary to the reptile world view, the dear things get extremely agitated, and start frothing and foaming ... and trotting out cliched snaps of a couple of men on top of a wedding cake (always think of the cakes!):

As with DD, the pond can't get enough of the dog botherer glowing at the top of his story at the wretched, biased, groupthink cardigan wearers, and never no mind that these same reptiles are swirling in the sky in unison like a murmuration of starlings...

Will climate science be mentioned?

It's easy to see the thought crime involved. 

Fancy suggesting that gays are human; fancy thinking that the bulk of climate scientists have done the science and come to conclusions, when the thoughts of tin foil hat wearers of the barking mad dog bothering, onion munching Moorice and Plimer kind deserve their place in the reptile sun ...

You see, if it's a 97:3 split in the science, for your average reptile that means worst case it should be 50:50, but given half a chance, they'd happily make it 3:97, with Moorice making up at least 95 of the 97 ...

Now around this time the pond should note that it's most unlikely that the groupthink reptiles would ever run this sort of story, with this sort of header ...

You might find that story here, but the groupthink of the reptiles prevents any such talk or any wonder at the way that the Adam and Eve-loving, complimentary women-embracing, fundie Calvinist bigots are dropping a cool million on their homophobia ...

... which brings us to the Devine, always keen to be at one in her tabloid column with the tabloid broadsheet musings of the senior lizard Oz reptiles, as they share the kool aid at their Surry Hills bunker ...

It turns out that much like the pond's Mao clock, the Devine is right at least twice a day on the matter of the return of Chairman Rudd, and so the pond turned to that other story ...

What's fascinating is the yearning, the naked desire of the Devine to shout about the suffering of the Xians and to blame it all on the wretched gays ...

That sort of talk is, it goes without saying, entirely unsatisfactory to a homophobic Catholic fundamentalist bigot of the Devine kind, and so it was with great relief that Erica was on the case ...

Of course it's a conspiracy, and a very frustrating one, because the Devine just wants to splash about her usual form of blessing ...

And there are the Canberra plods with their evasive talk refusing to give the Devine and Erica the ammunition they so badly need to stick another fork in the SSM postal survey.

Heck, why not just write the story anyway and dress it up, by way of speculation, as a conspiracy ...

It's before the coroner? All the better the grist to take to the mill ...

What? How outrageous, how shocking. Fancy wanting to await the coroner's findings in the matter.

Fancy wanting to prevent copycat suicides. If the price to pay is that others will drive vans up outside assorted Christian institutions and set  off bombs, that's a small price to pay for the Devine being able to scribble yet another story about the suffering and persecution of Xians ... and the way it's all the fault of the SSM debate ...

Just another day in the herpetarium; just another case of pass around the kool aid; just another campaign in the holy war of hate ...

And speaking of setting off bombs, it was probably only by chance that this day's Pope featured a petrol tanker of delights, with more papal wisdom here ...

Is it petrol, or is it water? Never mind, it seems to be burning quite nicely ...