Monday, February 19, 2018

In which the pond can't escape the polar Barners' vortex ...

How the pond wishes that the Barners affair was done and dusted. 

The reptiles are completely distracted …look, there's the bromancer at it, when he should be doing a normal day's work, finding gold in the doings of the Donald …

Oh sure the Terrorists tried, thanks to good old jolly Joe wanting to sell off the Hunters Hill farm …

… but the opinion pages were full of it, with the Bolter hoping that either Barners or Malware had to go … and oh frabjous day, call ooh, cal lay, he chortled in his joy, perhaps he could persuade Malware to take the long walk, and do the high jump …

In the old days, the pond would have reverted to the Major Mitchell, that squawking galah, the man who keeps talking about his deep understanding of capitalism, while running a newspaper at a substantial loss for years, propped up by pay television …

But the Major has, in a fit of pique, in a state of high dudgeon, taken his bat and ball and retreated behind the paywall … though if anyone wants, they only have to google …

… to find someone else burbling at how social media has hijacked our brains and threatens global democracy … (some browsers might dislike the link)

Besides, the notion that the Major is in the grip of critical thinking is such an absurd premise, the pond couldn't even get a plot for a super hero movie out of it …

So it just had to be the bromancer doing Barners, and in a way that's a relief.

The bromancer has been so uxorious about the Donald of late that the pond had begun to worry that he might not be able to get up a column about anything else …

Phew, what a relief. For a moment there, the pond thought that the bromancer might have recanted, but no, the Donald's policies so far have been pretty good … and remember Hillary shares as much of the blame as the Donald for all the pussy groping and sleeping with porn stars and Playmates that's been going around …

But then the pond had a bone to pick with the lizards of Oz, because they used this as the second illustration for the romancer's piece …

Sad really … as noted on The Insiders, there was a spiffing snap worth celebrating …


Alex Ellinghausen twitters his snaps here, and it gave the pond the strength to finish the bromancer, who shows every sign of having been driven barking mad by the Donald …

Appear to be heading?

Say that again: Appear to be heading??

Is it true? Have the reptiles and conservatives been in the bitter swamp of mindless division for so long that they never understood they were standing in it? A bit like a cow in the back paddock with its hind hoof in a pat?

A bit like the romancer's astonishing capacity to separate out the Donald's policies - allegedly good, when in reality a disaster - while bemoaning his pygmy stature - a disaster, and in reality a disaster …

And it turns out that such is Kev's hatred of Malware, that, just like the onion muncher, the urge to use it to flay Malware proved to be irresistible … because that's what swamp dwellers do ...bite, and goad, and with a bit of luck, devour …

Impossible to police?

But Alan Moir explained the guidelines succinctly and clearly here

The pond is ever so pleased that Kev has now declared that pollies, and by extension, everyone else can fuck like rabbits, and all this talk of the sanctity of traditional marriage is so much horse shit, and by the way why don't the Nationals keep Barners, and the Liberals bring back the onion muncher, because the onion muncher and Kev the pious family man did wonderful things for the country ...

How the hell do you police it?

Why, there's Kev saying ministers can have sexual relations with another member of parliament, another minister or staff in another office … sheesh if only that pair in Mark McArdle's office had known, come on down Cheryl and Gareth, Kev the pious has given the nod ...

Let everyone fuck like rabbits, or the next thing you know, we'll be having the Pat solution ...


  1. BroMancer: "...the truthless, personalised, polarising, tribalist and unaccountable nature of American politics in the era of Trump and Hillary Clinton."

    Oh yeah, both sides do it, really they do. Look at all those truthless, personalised, polarisng, tribalist and unaccountable things that Hillary does every single day of her life. Just shocking, isn't it.

    Obviously I shall completely ignore the unfounded claim by the Bro that [shock, horror] Right Wingnuts such as Barners' Nationals indulge in [shudder] "A similar primitive tribalism".

    And not only but also:

    Kev Andy: " can't legislate for virtuous behaviour"

    Now Kevvy, you old numbskull bumpkin, of course you can't; that's because it's part of the "freedom of conscience" that your God granted to all of "his" creations to which he also granted a conscience. All you can do is make a 'code of behaviour' (eg 10, or more, commandments) and then rigorously punish any deviations (you have heard of 'hell' haven't you ?). And that's all that Malcolm is trying to do, yes ? Though I do wonder why he thinks he has to when his 'God' preceded him by thousands of years already.

  2. On two occasions the word 'left' (referring to that side of the political spectrum) should have been capitalised.

    Slipping editorial standards at the Oz. Sad.

  3. Hi Dorothy,

    A fascinating biography of Paul Manafort in The Atlantic, which is well worth the read.

    Amazing that whilst Trump was promising to ‘Drain the Swamp’ his campaign manager was one of the people most responsible for filling it in the first place.

    It also looks like things are going to get a whole lot worse for Manafort and probably for Trump, as Manafort’s partner Rick Gates is going to flip and cooperate with Mueller.


    1. Well if you are going to flip over from committing to confessing, best to do it early and get in before somebody else beats you to it and gets all the offered immunity instead of you.

      Does that mean that Gates is smarter than Manafort, or that Manafort thinks he himself is the inscrutable, uncatchable one.

    2. Thanks DW, good links, that's the real circus to follow, but the pond is stuck with the reptiles of Oz ...

  4. Hi GB,

    To be honest I think Manafort has avoided the consequences of his actions for so long he has lost the ability to understand just how fucked he really is.

    And after reading his past history and how how helped some of the most corrupt and awful people worldwide I can only hope he gets the punishment he deserves.

    I also know he won't, mores the pity.


    1. Ah DW, perhaps I could quote that old middle-eastern wisdom: "This too shall pass". But it doesn't ever pass, does it - it just cycles around forever.

      So, how about the wisdom of Thrasymachus (as quoted by Bertrand Russell regarding Sokrates puerile effort at defining "justice")

      Thrasymachus defines justice as "...the advantage of the stronger; what he means is that injustice always involves acting so as to benefit whoever is in power."

      That's much more realistic than the blather about 'just desserts' that we usually get swamped by.

    2. GB, that is such a Biercean definition, I consulted the Devil-cynic and found the entry under the related term ‘Jury’ thus:

      ‘A number of persons appointed by a court to assist the attorneys in preventing law from degenerating into justice.’

      Ambrose might have found rich pickings among the living of our era.


Comments older than two days are moderated and there will be a delay in publishing them.