Wednesday, February 21, 2018

In which Dame Slap also goes off the deep end ...

The pond makes no apology for making Dame Slap follow nattering "Ned" on the day's progress …

As a traditional conservative of the first water, the pond has long held that 女は三歩下がって(or put it another way Onna was sanpo sagatte), or perhaps more simply, a woman should walk three steps behind her man …

This is the only proper and decent way to avoid what is apparently known as the Nikushoku-kei joshi (肉食系女子/ carnivorous women)

And now, having waited her right and proper discreet turn, it's time to unleash the Dame ...

Now for some reason, the reptiles have favoured Dame Slap by giving her the Lobbecke of the day, which will send his many fans into a cult frenzy …

Is that Barners doing some kind of reverse riff Handmaid's Tale?

Is it bonking Boris?

And whoever it is, what on earth does it mean? Are men now so hamstrung, demeaned and demoralised that they have gotten themselves to a nunnery? Are they mere pawns and chattels of monstrous dominant females?

Look at the pitiful, pleading eyes ... Did Bambi ever look so innocent, so pure, so tremulous?

Actually, the pond is ever so pleased that Dame Slap mentioned Boris, because for some time now it has wanted to link to Martin Fletcher's epic portrait of the man in the New Statesman

It can be found here … 

No spoilers, but Fletcher also has it up at his own site here

What a fun read, though it has to be said that it was written last November, and here we are in February and the joke's not over, unless it's the sight of Boris going for a jog with Julie …


Oh dear …

Well that's the pond's quota of feeling vaguely nauseous for the day, and it's on with Dame Slap getting most agitated, and showing nattering "Ned" he doesn't have a monopoly on hysteria ...

Indeed, indeed, Malware is an epic bungler - look at his NBN - and sure enough the dirtiest, filthiest minds in Canberra have already turned to the task at hand …

Barners not the only one sleeping? What, they're all asleep at the wheel?

Oh sorry, the pond should have read the fine print …

Of course Cory doesn't actually name anyone … sly innuendo and rumour-mongering is more his strength … but the pond agrees it would be much better if members of parliament were restricted to having sex with themselves …


Onanism, with or without spilling of seed, is surely the way forward … and Cory's a fine role model.

And now it's back to Dame Slap, giving Malware a firm spanking for attempting to play Big Brother … though it's most peculiar that she wants tighter rules to manage conflicts, while at the very same time bemoaning a ban …

The pond wondered how that might work. 

Here's a tighter rule to manage conflicts - Ministers should not have sex with a staff member - but please, do not mistake this for a ban. 

If you can keep it out of sight, it will surely stay out of mind, and no-one, not even Cory will notice ...

In all, it's been a most gratifying day for the pond.

Nattering "Ned" in an apoplectic, apocalyptic condition, and Dame Slap in her usual state of outrage, as it seems that Malware has entirely banned sex everywhere … 

Yes it's not just Ministers, Malware's just like, or possibly worse than, that Xian god who kicked Adam and Eve out of the garden just for getting a vague idea that sex might be an issue …

And if that's as bad as it gets in Australia, then maybe things aren't so bad at all. 

The country's certainly not as fucked as the United States, which is now truly and comprehensively fucked in so many ways it has become unimaginable … though Rowe gives a hint of it this day, with more Rowe here


  1. Dame Snap: "Instead, Trumble did what he often does in a crisis. He dithered. And as the debacle dragged on, depleting the Prime Minister's already diminished stocks, his anger grew to fever pitch. That's when he overreacted with a sex ban on all relationships between ministers and their staffers."

    Gracious me, I still can't work out whether she's writing about Trump or Trumble (only that if it was Trump, the sex ban would probably include Russians as well as staffers).

    Then we have"
    "It's patronising to imagine that women need protecting from power imbalances and the "boys' club" of Canberra."

    Sure it is, Snappy Old Girl, sure it is. No female has ever, ever been victimised by a power imbalance on ministerial staff, ever !

    Oh, but Snappy, what about ministers victimising boys ? Are we sure Julie Bishop has never used her 'power imbalance' to put the hard word on a male employee ? And what about men and boys ? Has any 'minister' ever used the power imbalance to put the hard word on a male employee ? Or women ministers and women staff ?

    Do we get the impression that Dame Snap is just a wee bit limited in her view of life ? That there's only male ministers and female staff ? And that none of the male ministers' female staff has ever been victimised ?

    Oh and trust the Dame to gratuitously drag #metoo into her rant. She just can't leave it alone, can she.

  2. Incidentally, DP, about the "carnivorous women" of Japan, who "...are active, lively, have their career, say what they think and know what they want. They are contrary to the traditional image of Japanese woman who always respect the men.", it would seem that Chinese women are travelling down the same road:

    "Growing up with more diverse values than previous generations, Chinese youth born in the 1980s and 1990s see options beyond the linear life path leading up to the baby carriage. Many prioritise work over partnership - either willingly or with reluctance.

    Government statistics also suggest that more than 85% of both male and female migrant workers – a third of whom are at marrying age – work more than 44 hours a week, which leaves them little time and energy to build relationships

    On the other hand, lots of Chinese suffer from iodine deficiency which means a large number of more or less retarded children. So it's never easy to grasp what's really going on in China:

    "...iodine deficiency, requiring years of pain and eventually surgery. During the mid-1990s, it was a condition that affected 720 million Chinese people, according to government reports. It was also estimated at the time that China had more than 7 million people with endemic goiter and more than 200 000 people with congenital hypothyroidism."
    "In terms of intelligence, those with iodine deficiency tend to score 10 to 12 points lower on IQ tests as compared to others who aren’t deficient

    So it goes.

  3. Re the bizarre Lobbecke depiction of Barners. We had a dog once who had to wear a similar contraption - a plastic funnel over its head to stop it licking itself. Hmmm...

    1. HI K,

      Excellent analogy!



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