Monday, October 30, 2017

In which the Major stuffs his gob with Murdochian pie in the sky ...

These days the Major is a very model of blushing modesty ... with the lizards of Oz hiding his light this morning under a bushel in the media section.

The pond had to hunt and ferret and search high and low to discover the unassuming former leader and useless peacock feather ...

No doubt the Major's seminal thoughts will be dug out and highlighted as the day progresses, but really, he should be at the top of the opinion page on a Monday from the get go. 

How is it that the Oreo is given the root beer treatment, while the Major is forced to the digital wilderness to talk of humble pie growing and sharing?

Now it's ironic that the Major should moan and mutter how the left-wing media seem to have been one of the major causes of all this damned unfairness, and got his crest all agitated and alarmed ...

It was all the more problematic as Crikey, in its coverage of the Major's world, (paywall affected) had finally decided there was a need for some good news ...

And then they couldn't help themselves and ended the piece this way ...

Now we have to wait for the war against Paul Barry?

Even worse, the Major couldn't help himself and got out the tar brush to do his usual broad strokes tarring this day ...with predictably galah precision ...

Yes, the silly old bugger couldn't resist revealing himself as a silly old bugger by making a cheap jibe about the smashed avocado generation ...

And why can't he mention the conclusive findings of climate science when he comes to his coal-fired euphoria?

Well it's not as if these things haven't been pointed out by the pond more than a few times, but the Major is the Major and he'll always flap around in ever smaller circles about the way that the left have produced an unfair world ... while the Murdochians are models of fairness ...

It's a necessary form of bizarro world indoctrination and an essential prerequisite for anyone wanting to fully enjoy the surreal if they go down the rabbit hole with Alice and the Major ...

Never mind, as usual, it's all just an excuse to run a few cartoons ... with the kind of fiscally responsible, GOP bias that would likely please the Major ...

Oh heck, here's another one that should appeal to the Major.

Is there a mention of smashed avocado in those exceptions?


  1. He can't help himself, can he. He just has to lie and lie and lie. Like these:

    Maj Mitch: "New Zealand has recorded an average growth rate of over 3% in much of the past seven years ..."

    Ok, so the actual numbers are:
    2008 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 2016
    -1.1% -0.3% 1.5% 2.3% 2.2% 2.4% 3.4% 2.4% 3.9%
    for an average percentage over the 9 years of 2.43
    Australia, on the other hand, had the following
    3.7% 1.8% 2.0% 2.4% 3.6% 2.6% 2.6% 2.4% 2.8% average 2.65%

    But note those NZ numbers for 2008 and 2009: that's two whole years of recession due to the GFC. No wonder Maj Mitch only wanted to mention the last 7 years, is it. Oops.

    Maj Mitch again: "Why is it impossible to explain that coal is our nation's single biggest export earner ..."

    I dunno, but at a guess I'd say it's because coal isn't our nation's single biggest export earner, iron ore and concentrates are It might also be pointed out that Tourism is our third biggest export earner, not much behind coal and catching up progressively.

    1. Hi GB,

      Your point holds, but I think there's a problem in the detail. Taking your raw data at face value, the percentages work out like this:

      NZ 2008-2016 (incl)(9 years): 1.84%
      OZ 2008-2016 (incl)(9 years): 2.65%

      NZ 2010-2016 (incl)(7 years): 2.58%
      OZ 2010-2016 (incl)(7 years): 2.63%

      However I suspect the Major is not so much of the Cacatuidae family, but the Mustelidae. His weasel phrasing, "an average growth rate of over 3% in much of the past seven years ..." is literally accurate in that way that Gerard Henderson would love: the period from 2013 to 2016 shows an average growth rate of over 3%, and the four years in that period do represent more than half of the past seven years, so I reckon that would be good enough for Polonius to whinge about on Insiders for weeks if anyone pointed out that its bullshit.

      "Bureaucrat Conrad, you are technically correct - the best kind of correct..."

    2. Yes, I do seem to have miscalculated the NZ 9 year average; repeating the calculation gives the same 1.84% you stated. Oh well, thanks for the correction.

      I did more or less get the "average over 3%" dodge of the Major Weasel, but I sorta reckoned the hilarity aroused by him calling NZ a "South Pacific tiger economy" was sufficient.

  2. Hi Dorothy,

    Another rant against the young from the ‘brilliant’ editor that ran a sheltered workshop for cantankerous oldies, whilst losing at least $30 million a year.

    Exactly the person to take financial or economic advise from!?!

    “The rising tide raises all boats” meme is just lazy thinking but if we are going to keep to the analogy then it should be noted that not everybody is on a boat. The younger generation especially are in the sea and they are treading water. Entry level work is becoming more and more impermanent and wages have stagnated.

    The fortunate who were able to buy property when a mortgage was just two or three times their annual wage now have a considerable nest egg and may also have had the opportunity to buy more property aided by generous tax allowances.

    Mitchell’s advise to the smashed avocado generation however is to start saving. Saving? Interest rates are at rock bottom levels. The banks even want to charge for actually having to hold the money in an account.

    The message is simple. Those with Capital are just getting richer and richer as the whole financial market is designed to make them more wealthy.

    For the rest and that seems to be the deplorable younger generation, it’s zero hour contracts, renting over priced properties from a section of the older generation who are raking it in and the thought of a permanent job becoming a mirage.

    “News Corp are keen to offer Internships for a placement of 4-6 weeks (all such positions are unpaid).”

    Finally iMitchell decided it was time to give Labor and the Unions are a kick. Historically these were the only entities who raised workers wages, improved working conditions, limited work hours and let people have a holiday. All things that have caused massive increases in the economy as the workforce had expendable cash and time.

    All this from an editor that ran a massive loss making paper that haemorrhaged readers with it’s idiotic campaigns against so called ‘elites’ which turned out to be the very demographic that would be expected to read a broadsheet.

    Well the avocado munchers won’t be reading (and more importantly paying) for a rag that routinely insults them and that leaves the Murdocians with a dwindling bunch of aged reactionaries clinging to their prejudices.

    That is certainly an odd way to grow a pie.


    1. Well summarised, DW; the only thing to be added is probably the impact of the 'gig economy' which is also an impact on the 'crushed avocados'.

      What I still can't work out though is the actual extent of what Weasel Mitch (thankx FD) really believes and what are just 'virtue signalling' lies. He is so stupid that he could actually believe the rubbish he spouts.


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