Saturday, October 07, 2017




Ever since Dame Slap has upped her work rate, the pond has come to treasure the weekend ... there's not just nattering "Ned" and prattling Polonius and the dog botherer, there's the Dame, zooming in from her planet to box someone's ears ...

This weekend she's boxing the ears of Americans, in a pitiful attempt to pretend she's not with the preppers and the Red Dawners... as if generations of Republican conspiracy theories and talk of the UN's world government can be shucked off like the husks off a corn cob ...


Ah, at last Roe v. Wade ... safe turf...

Strangely, the pond was certain that Dame Slap was going to remark on the remarkable hypocrisy of Republicans and conservatives in general, most recently notable in the matter of Tim Murphy, in a story broken by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, and with an inevitable outcome here and here ...

Tim was celebrated by Charles B. Pierce at Esquire, here ...where the hot links will be hot ...


The pond is deeply indebted to Pierce for being reminded of jamoke, one of those quaint invented words to be found in slang, with multi-purpose uses, including the evocation of male genitalia ...

And speaking of pricks, what a joy that the gigantic tool known as Harvey Weinstein got taken down, but as usual, the pond had entirely missed the Dame Slap point ... it's entirely up to the states, because how else will we end up with totally different railway gauges and have to spend a huge fortune fixing up the godforsaken mess?


It's around this point that the pond realised that Dame Slap had jumped the shark, nuked the fridge and bumped the stock ...

John Oliver?!

Yes, not just John Oliver but John Oliver from his Daily Show days, as can be found on Comedy Central here ...

Of course Dame Slap could have referenced a more recent John Oliver ...


But that would have taken punters off-site, and that would never do in the world of the Murdochians ... 

Still, it's exciting times when the Dame fills up her column by repeating the points made by Oliver ...



And that's the thing the pond loves about the reptiles. Just like Republicans, they're endearingly, permanently dumb, and they have a memory and attention span as long as the pond's or a gnat ...

The pond was touched that she had never shot a gun until a few years ago. Presumably that's what life is like in the remoter areas of planet Janet, aloof and untouched and uncomprehending ...

And yet, this was before all the very same Dame Slap who so recently strode out into the streets of New York with wild-eyed excitement and began a column this way..


If only Dame Slap had spent a few years in Tamworth. She might have learned of the potency of guns  ... and of dumb fuck MAGA caps ...

Speaking of dumb, and the minds of gnats, the dog botherer was also out and about on this sensitive matter ...




The dog botherer will now perform a spectacular feat. He will deploy identity politics, while deploring identity politics, he will rage at those stumble bums who dare to invoke identity politics, while strutting out amongst identity politics for his own nefarious identity politics purposes ...

Here's how the feat is performed ...



Right there, in that casual aside intended to prove that the dog botherer was hip and perhaps even a tad feminist - "yes, they are usually teenage boys or men" - the dog botherer performs a feat of identity politics.

Now it might be true - who knows, the pond hasn't checked the data lately - but even the truth is no protection against that grave thought crime of identity politics.

Please allow the pond to pause for a cartoon ...


Now let us return to the dog botherer, as he mourns that the Vegas shooter wasn't an Islamic terrorist, and smotes mightily anyone daring to point out that perhaps Republicans, the Donald, and assorted nutters of the NRA are complicit in a crime performed by an older white American male who liked to gamble ...



Indeed, indeed. Commentators who disingenuously disentangle all the many reasons that the United States has ended up a gun-toting mess from the politics of angry white male privilege certainly do a service to the GOP and the Donald ... though whether it's a service to the United States' citizenry is another matter ...

And so to a few cartoons ...





And now a couple for the moron ...



5 comments:

  1. Sully of Tuross.Oct 7, 2017, 1:49:00 PM

    I reckon Dame Slap's claim about sitting in a New York bar with a Republican and a group of Democrat women who all happen to have photos of themselves posing with assorted firearms is pure bullshit and shows the mentality of the few idiots who buy The Australian as being the same as the Fox News watchers in the States. They just lap up crap.
    She should be called out on this, it is just way toooooooooooo convenient a lead in to her pile of rubbish posing as a column.

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  2. I think it would be good idea to rename dame slap as Nurse Ratchet from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest.They do have essentially the same sadistic character.
    I have suggested this as a response to reading the essay titled The Psych Ward by John Davis on the Counterpunch website.

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  3. Dame Slap: "...Howard reacted to the single biggest mass shooting in Australia ... when Martin Bryant killed 35" [and wounded 23 more].

    Well she seemed pretty certain about her accolade of "single biggest mass shooting", but I thought I'd greghunt about a bit and I came upon this:

    "1928 Coniston massacre: The Coniston massacre, which took place from 14 August to 18 October 1928 near the Coniston cattle station in Northern Territory, Australia, was the last known officially sanctioned massacre of Indigenous Australians and one of the last events of the Australian Frontier Wars. People of the Warlpiri, Anmatyerre, and Kaytetye groups were killed. The massacre occurred in revenge for the death of dingo hunter Frederick Brooks, killed by Aboriginal people in August 1928 at a place now known as Yukurru, also known as Brooks Soak.

    Official records at the time stated that 31 people were killed. The owner of Coniston station, Randall Stafford, was a member of the punitive party for the first few days and estimated that at least twice that number were killed between 14 August and 1 September. Historians estimate that at least 60, possibly as many as 110 Aboriginal men, women, and children were killed. The Warlpiri, Anmatyerre, and Kaytetye believe that up to 170 died between 14 August and 18 October.
    ."
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coniston_massacre

    "A court of inquiry said the European action was ‘justified'".
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_massacres_of_Indigenous_Australians#1920s_2

    So there ya go: it took place over a couple of months so there was probably never as many as 35 in a single day, and it was "justified" and afterwards nobody mentioned changing any guns laws either.

    So I guess The dame was right and Port Arthur it is.

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  4. I wouldn't normally go chasing after any link Dame Slap alluded to, but the John Oliver three-parter from 2013 is definitely worth your time.

    Oliver: Did you feel that when the government compulsorily purchased your high-powered weapons that your civil liberties were being infringed?
    Random Girl on Bondi Beach: What the **** are you talking about?

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, not bad FD. We should import John Oliver into Aus for a while every year to fill in the Micallef off-season.

      Delete

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