With the election close at hand, it's every reptile claw on deck, and given the deeds of the barbarian butcher of Bucha, and the ABC's sloppy use of "sloppy" to describe a massacre ...
...the reptiles thought it was time to trot out the mutton Dutton and defence, always a sure fire reptile favourite and perennial hit that never grows old ...
Top of the page ma, though there was also a chance to have a go at the independents threatening key seats ... a feature of the digital edition as well ...
Lordy, long absent lordy, so much to unpick there if the pond had the time.
Jobs for the mates, a factional war escalating, despairing ALP strategists, an independent Allegra assault, no bounce in the Newspoll, and there, still at the top the mutton Dutton making a big announcement.
Naturally the pond turned to the resident reptile opinion-maker, the bromancer and was quickly aghast ...
Say what? If the pond might transcribe that headline, the mutton Dutton's defence promises are pure hot air?
The reptiles gave him and his latest announcement a starring role at the top of the tree killer and digital editions, and then the bromancer hands him a shellacking?
This isn't how the game is played, bromancer, not with the election so close ...
Oh no, "so we can spend $5.5bn for nothing, but we can't afford one single armed drone?"
And then it was on to more grievances in a last flurry ...
Zeo!? Nothing to pay?!
Talk about putting the pond in a deep state of agitation. The brave, bold mutton Dutton and his announcement given a thorough trashing, and yet the election fever is in the air ...
Luckily the reptiles linked to another shorter bromancer effort ... and it was relatively mild, though the bromancer's tankophobia came through in the first par with a busted flush ...
Yes, the bromancer was doing his best to like the mutton Dutton and his warp speed approach ... two years being warp speed in the mutton Dutton's space force ... though the pond couldn't help but marvel that the same author that had led the all-out assault above had also managed to produce this mealy-mouthed bit of grudging approval.
Still, it's election time, and even the most obdurate and difficult reptile must come to order ... or does he?
Translation: the potential for the mutton Dutton and Scotty from marketing and the whole damn tribe to bugger everything up is quite strong ...
And so a quick shift from levity to grim reality, thanks to Rowe, with more Rowe here ...
That's hard to take, so the pond took a quick squiz around to check the reptile offerings, to see if there was a way to move from grim reality back to levity ...
Hmm, ancient Troy brooding about the independents, and news from Tasmania, and the usual groaning, but given that the Groaner was just doing a standard number, the pond decided to kick her piece to a late arvo slot, where only specialists might take an interest, and instead turned to the reliable comedy stylings of the Caterist ...
By golly, is that the best the Caterist has got? Dusting off the moths and heading back to the days of comrade Bill?
Is bringing back the spectre of ancient history and the ghost of comrade Bill wise? Next thing you know others might be out in the field, doing some digging ... as David Hardaker was doing at Crikey ... (paywall affected)
Good old Simon says, doing it way back then ...
Meanwhile, the Caterist was still doing his best, by invoking unpublished data by Compass Polling.
Why bother spending time with published data, when you can dish out the dirt with unpublished data?
The pond usually likes to leave a teaser to stories in other rags, but Hardaker produced such a neat punchline it's impossible to resist the temptation to share it ...
The Daily Terror as the holy ghost?! Presumably that means all the reptile Terrorists are a bunch of wafers ...
And so to a final gobbet from the Caterist, invoking the spectre of comrade Bill, and perhaps brandishing a cross, a clove or three of Allium sativum, a stake, a little of the Terror's holy water, and perhaps even a silver bullet ...
Poignant really, and a sense that the reptiles are seriously worried about the fate of their Messiah. Could he prove to be a naughty boy?
As usual, the infallible Pope caught the rich indolent irony of rats looting the Titanic as they left the revolving door ...
The reptiles may be contemplating - as much as they are capable of contemplating - going beyond Compass Polling in its unpublished state. After all, if data are not to be published - why waste money on paying for sifting through the list of compliant contacts, and sending out the mass e-mail that constitutes most Compass polls? Money must be tight if we have to go to Chinese sources for a few mill. (And why settle for a few mill, when you can tap up over a billion from a handy ATM near your local friendly Star Casino? - but I digress)
ReplyDeleteIn my time in Adelaide I had to deal with a consultative body representing interests in marine waters. One regular attender was a columnist for the ‘News’ - Rupert’s original endowment, still printing then as the afternoon paper. This, of course, was before Akker Dakker was sent on his mission to euthanase it in favour of the more aptly-named ‘Advertiser’.
So the good citizens would meet and discuss all manner of issues to do with who used the Gulfs, and how competing demands might be resolved amicably. The News Columnist had refined a presentation which went like this -
‘Now, what you wanna do is have a survey, and I’ll bet you that that survey will show that at least 65% of people are in favour of (whatever thought had crept into his little brain in the pub that afternoon).’
The consultative body did not have funding for proper opinion surveys, but in the following weeks I would hear comments along the lines of ‘Apparently the ‘News’ did a survey that shows that 65% of people want . . . ‘ .
With further to-and-fro between the Columnist and his mates along the bar - the ‘survey’ would acquire some verisimilitude, flogged along by other contributors to the ‘News’, if they thought it suited their purposes.
I am a tad diffident about offering this anecdote, in case the Cater, in googling his own name, peeks into this blog and takes up the idea, but I can’t recall attacks on this blog by third parties in ‘Spectator’ or ‘Quad Rant’, so I think we are safe.
Umm, "believing their own bullshit", Chad ?
DeleteBelieving Your Own Bullshit
https://lnelson10051954.medium.com/believing-your-own-bullshit-a9ac622aacdc
"overgeneralization would be the occupational hazard of philosophers, if it wasn’t their occupation"
"$500K jobs for Liberal mates": I see they don't even bother hiding the corruption any more.
ReplyDeleteI don't think they ever did, Merc.
DeleteNow thinking of Morrison 'ousting' Towke, should we concentrate on whether or not $loMo is personally racist - which he can passionately deny - or concentrate on the actual issue: did $loMo use other people's racism to denigrate Towke. Whether $loMo is actually personally racist is quite irrelevant.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Volodymyr,
ReplyDeleteIn the light of your current disaster
I’ve sent you four spruced up Bushmasters
We use them back here
To transport our beer
As they get the grog to the troops faster
So I’m hoping they pass your inspection
And offer your soldiers protection
I’ll send a few more
If you’re still at war
When I win the federal election
Regards, Scott
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThere is a foreign editor, a bunkered Minor-General
ReplyDeleteWho postulates a future war is fightable and winnable
But to spruik for drones and missiles is deluded if not comical
As Xi Xinping and Putin have much weaponry atomical
:-) as always, Kez.
DeleteCheers GB!
Delete