In which the pond wastes its time in class with coal, Florida maths and the Killer ...

 

 

 

Today is one of those freedom moments the pond used to love in school ... the teachers in a meltdown, off somewhere huddled in the staff room, and the class able to do with the period what they wanted.

But why are the reptiles in a meltdown? Haven't they got Klive's kash in reptile klaw for the umpteenth time?

 

 

 

 

Well yes, but zoom in close in the digital edition and you can see more clearly why the reptiles are agitated. It's not just inflation, it's that damned the red head, looking so casual, slouched in the Queensland manner ...

 

 

 

There was only one relief for the pond - petulant Peta getting agitated about existential threats posed by the colour teal was so last week that the pond felt relieved it wouldn't have to disturb the regular readership by getting in too deep in the shallow waters.

Instead the pond will only pause to note that for some reason the reptiles wheeled out freedumb boy as part of the whirling rotating centrepiece of doom ...

 

 

Oh no, not freedumb boy, along with the talk of nukes and inflation and the Solomons and NDIS and maths ... and ... yes, and then ...

And then there was the sordid business of coal ... with poor Jess left to tell the sorry tale ...

 

Good on ya Bid, and Simon says he has absolutely no conflict of interest, and what a way to allow a segue to an immortal Rowe ...

 

 

Good on ya Bid, we can't have the Canavan caravan setting the pace all on his own...

 

 

Oh yes, it's all good ...

 

What else? Well the comments section was full as a goog with a dull lot, and Simon was saying the usual blather and not to worry about interest rates or inflation or any of that, just make sure we can have a coal-led recovery with Bid... 

Simon saying there's no conflict here was helped out by ancient Troy making a valiant plea to ignore all those other indie wretches, doing a kind of pale imitation of petulant Peta ...

 

The pond was spending too much time passing on all the reptiles, heading past go with no chance of picking up the $500,000 it needed (what with inflation), so it decided to drop in on the lizard Oz editorialist ...

 

What a silly Oz editorialist reptile. The pond has already explained that the solution is to go full Florida maths ...

 

 

 

There's more at the Graudian here, but the pond couldn't resist slipping in a cartoon or three ...

 

 

 

 

 

And with that done, it was back to the lizard Oz editorialist to wrap things up in the happiest newspaper in Surry Hills ...

 

 

 

 

Short changing their future? 

The pond guarantees that Flordia maths might well see them turn into killer correspondents, and speaking of the Killer, the pond couldn't help but notice he was also out and about this day, and as a designated pond favourite, had to be given a run, though by now the class was in a state of riotous anarchy ...

 

 

 

 

 

Ah yes, it's all the fault of Covid (what a shame the mango Mussolini is only mentioned in passing), and if only the pond had seen The Batman a tad earlier, it might have been able to console the Killer, as the Riddler came out with an immortal line ...

Your mask is amazing. I wish you could've seen me in mine. Ain't it funny? All everyone wants to do is unmask you, but they're missing the point. You and I both know I'm looking at the real you right now. My mask allowed me to be myself completely. No shame, no limits.

Oh and the movie's pretty slickly put together too, a great pastiche musical score of awesome bat out of hell banality, and grand images, and never mind some of the dialogue or the three hours it took the pond to get to the end ...

It did put the pond in a frivolous mood this morning, just right for a couple of Wilcox tweets, with the first reflecting the meta irony of twitterers brooding in tweets about Twitter ...

 

 

 

 

And then there was this one ...

 

 

 

Oh that clipping's worth a bigger run ...

 

 

 

The pond checked it out and discovered someone had dug up a tree killer copy from the 18th November 2013, but it could be found in WaPo in digital form here ... but the pond loved the ink and paper routine, so ancient, and you could make a bloody good spitball out of that ...

What's that you say?

What about Killer? What about the end of the world? What about the wild ride? 

All the fault of those bloody wretches making Killer wear a mask, with the Killer simply unable to comprehend why his fear of masks resulted in such an abject sense of self-loathing. If only he'd understood: My mask allowed me to be myself completely. No shame, no limits.

Oh okay, another grim gobbet ...

 

Yes, yes, and if Vlad the impaler decides to go full nuke, what fun that will be ...

 

 

 

For a moment there the pond almost had a meltdown, until Wilcox reminded the pond that everything was on track ...

 

 

 

Yes, it's looking great, what could possibly go wrong?

 

 

Okay, okay, the pond realises that it's heresy to shove in all those cartoons, before the Killer has had a final chance in his gobbet to denounce Covid and all those pussy mask wearers and assorted mamby pambys ...but remember this is the pond's free period, and the pond can't help it if it drifted back in time to those days when naughty boys would use their rulers to send spitballs thudding into the ceiling ... (if you can find a tree killer edition of the lizard Oz, and an ancient wooden ruler, the pond will explain how the Killer can end up as a spitball on the ceiling)

Now there's a cue, and so to the last Killer spitball ...

 

 

 Actually the pond only stayed hanging in with an hysterical Killer so that it might enjoy the fond memory of which had the greater impact - the first world war or the Spanish flu - you know, so that the pond might take comfort that Russia's invasion of the Ukraine was absolutely not like all those lebensraum moments from Herr Adolf ...

Oh okay, it was really only so the pond could end with an infallible Pope as the closer ...

 

 

 

 

Yes, but which moment was the infallible Pope after when in Pythonish mood?

 

Was it this one?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Or this one ... 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And which one should be the pond's favourite? This one?

 

 

 

 

Or this one?

 

Not to worry, it's all the fault of Covid, and those bloody masks, and as for the planet, here take a Killer powder, because the grim reaper teacher has just returned to class ...

Inflation? And we were doing so well with deflation ...

 

Why? Well we always have Bid, the canavan Caravan and simpleton Simon saying to sort it all out, as we all have a killer good time...