What a relief it is for the pond, to have given up on the Terror.
The pond thankfully can only, in one day, look at so many reptiles, even as it's clear that just one reptile can be too much for any bear to bear ...
Luckily, the reptiles repeat themselves ... because while the lizard Oz aspires to broadsheet respectability, buried on the front page of the tree killer edition this day was a reptile version of a 'WokeFest', dressed up to look a little different ...
Yes, there was SloMo, he who claps hands and brays to an imaginary friend in company with a flock of sheep, suddenly going all libertarian and individualistic ... and he scored the top spot in the digital edition as well ...
The pond was immediately swept back in time ...
If you're lucky some day you might see me on the street
My crystal clear complexion is as snow white as a sheet
'Cause some say I'm a genius, to others I'm a loon
But someday there'll be people like me walking on the moon
If you think you've got the nerve to put me in my place
I think that I should warn you, I'm not just a pretty face
I'm an individual - you can't fool me
An indi-bloody-vidual - you can't fool me
A genuine original - you can't fool me
I keep an open mind 'cause I'm thinkin' all the time
Does anybody remember Jacko, occasional footballer, energiser bunny man, star of Signal One, and professional boofhead?
Never mind, the pond had predicted that this day there'd be a crusade, as yesterday the urbane Urban fired a warning shot across the bow ... and so today ...
What a trinity of reptile terrors, what a triptych. Ticky celebrating coal, the urbane Urban returning to feast on the wafer of sacrificed Xians - isn't being crucified their thing? - and the bromancer delivering one from the heart (and who remembers that peculiar movie?)
Well the pond could only select one wafer from that panel, and inevitably it had to be the bromancer ...
Of course it was former Chairman Rudd that set this hare running, and so we must now endure more clap happy nonsense, even though the clap happies firmly believe that the bromancer's religion is the whore of Babylon, membership of which consigns those heretic papists to an eternity of hellfire and damnation ...
But there the pond goes again, taking this stuff seriously, when it should be rightly treated as comedy ... and is there anyone better at this sort of comedy styling than the bromancer?
Ah yes, the individual and not a group, though the bromancer is a tyke and the PM is a clap happy, and when the pond last checked, both groups that insisted that their group was essential as a way of defining humanity ... unless of course you preferred an eternity of hellfire and damnation, with Jacko's song playing 24/7 ...
I've a basic sense of rhythm and a chronic sense of rhyme
I make my own tomato juice and drink it all the time
I like to dress up lavishly, skin tight pants and sneakers
And on my head I wear the latest hi-fi speakers
Wish I had the chance to be a reckless millionaire
But I haven't got the money, so I really couldn't care
I'm an individual - you can't fool me
An indi-bloody-vidual - you can't fool me
A genuine original - you can't fool me
I keep an open mind 'cause I'm thinkin' all the time
I am not an animal
I am not an animal
I'm a 'uman being
Sorry, but some days the pond finds it hard to keep a straight face ... or a face straight, or whatever ...
And yet, there's the bromancer himself wanting to insist on quoting Paul, that bloody miserable misogynist with more than a touch of the misanthrope about him ...
As usual in such emergencies the pond breaks glass and turns to the Skeptic's Bible ...
Oh okay, big mistake ... best stick to the song ...
Me mother calls me Markus and my father's name is Jack
And everybody knows that I'm a cut above the pack
My formal education was in competition darts
Attending new auditions for the latest movie parts
People say the life I lead's enough to stunt my growth
They ask me if I'm happy and I tell them up your nose
I'm an indivdual - you can't fool me
An indi-bloody-vidual - you can't fool me
A genuine original - you can't fool me
I keep an open mind, 'cause I'm thinkin' all the time
But at least the singalong has got the pond to the last gobbet, and great news, it's really short ..
Actually instead of praying for people, how about giving up all the Scotty from marketing bullshit, and all the Xian warrior stuff, and just run a competent government, you know, vaccines, budgets, shit like that, and thereby avoid giving material to the likes of the immortal Rowe, with more material always to be found here ...
And so to the horde clamouring for attention below the fold ...
What a wealth of riches ... and yet the pond could only take in a couple, and naturally it had to welcome back dashing Donners ...
It's been so long, what with Donners off with the Terror mob, and yet he still manages to sound exactly the same as he did when he last appeared on the pond ...
The pond gets it: what that headline should say is that the national syllabus fails the dashing Donners test, and never mind that Donners himself was something of a flop and an epic failure back in the days of the onion muncher, but do go on ...
Does dashing Donners ever pause to consider how much he sounds like the white supremacists and white nationalists that litter the US landscape, with his talk of the wonders of Xianity and western culture, and its clear superiority?
Probably not ... because anyone who can talk of nation-building in the Donners' closing line ...
... surely invites a breach of Godwin's Law ...
..in August, 1914, it was not a people resolved to attack which rushed to the battlefield; no, it was only the last flicker of a national instinct of self-preservation in face of the progressing Marxist paralysis of our national body. (The long march through the institutions!)
Since even in these days, of destiny, our people did not recognize the inner enemy, all outward resistance was in vain and Providence did not bestow her reward on the victorious sword, but followed the law of eternal retribution.
On the basis of this inner realization, there took form in our new movement the leading principles as well as the tendency, which in our conviction were alone capable, not only of halting the decline of the German people, but of creating the granite foundation upon which some day a state will rest which represents, not an alien mechanism of economic concern and interests, but a national organism: A Germanic State of the German Nation ...
Ah yes, nation-building, always sure to produce a good result ...
But how, in all this hubbub, could the pond leave out the hole in the bucket man? Come on Henry, last but not least ...
Is it wrong of the pond to quibble from the get go? You see, the reptiles let go the cult master, who once would have provided an individualistic illustration for our Henry.
What do we get these days? A bit of anonymous image-making from iStock! It's beyond the mountains of the moon and the valleys of irony ... not to mention its anonymous banality ... though some might argue that banality is what suits our Henry as he does his usual brooding, moaning and whining, and heads back to days past ...
Oh harden the fuck up man, and why of all things, introduce Adam and Eve, when we know that means it's all the woman's fault ... everything, the whole damn lot ...
And the Lord God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat. And the Lord God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life: And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel. Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
Dear sweet long absent lord, why is it always left to the pond to deal with the consequences of imaginary friends? Would it have been better for our Henry to leave his name off this piece, and let it be published anonymously by the reptiles, safe in the knowledge that everyone would still recognise our Henry's pompous, ponderous, portentous style?
Of course if he'd put his name to the pamphlet, he would have - in best Vlad the impaler style - been pilloried, whipped, etc etc, yadda yadda ... much the same as if you step out of line these days, you can be pilloried from pillar to post by the reptiles, mounting assaults in the manner that saw the likes of Yassmin Abdel-Magied driven out of the country ...
Or in much the same way that in the nineteenth century, female novelists in Victorian England discovered that the best way to get ahead was to assume a male guise ... but do go on with your tedious history lesson ...
Yes, yes, and the Donald's tweets showed the benefit of being named, and what joy to see the angry, perpetually agitated society he left behind, while showing the power of branding ... no, not that sort of branding, with hot irons and whatever, more the sort of branding loved by that traffic cone of treason, Eric's dad ...
Never mind, the pond doesn't take it personally, and really doesn't think our Henry is upset at this venomous blog poking a little fun at him ... but if he wants to be bold and brave, let him head off to China or Russia, and put his name to criticisms of those countries' fearless leaders. Then maybe he wouldn't mind a little anonymity, unless he likes a crash course in how to do a hunger strike ...
And so to a final omission. Yesterday the pond ignored this ...
The pond did so because talk of elites is not a reptile thing.
Even worse, elites threatening negative consequences is entirely improper and against the reptile code.
The pond has read enough reptile speak on the matter of 'leets to know that talk of 'leets can produce a dangerous wokefest ...but as the matter was raised, please allow the pond to end with an infallible Pope, reminding us where careless, carefree indulgence in political and religious rallies might take a country ...
Of course the pond could have ended with a treatise by Killer Creighton, explaining how India is a notoriously obese country, and how obesity explained everything, but that's another story for another day ...
"Ah yes, the individual and not a group, though the bromancer is a tyke and the PM is a clap happy, and when the pond last checked, both groups that insisted that their group was essential as a way of defining humanity"
ReplyDeleteNow I am confused. Whither Team Australia?
You think you're confused Merc?
ReplyDeleteImagine how the reptiles are feeling.
Is mocking the new trolling?
Actually, I'm also confused.
https://twitter.com/IllyBocean/status/1387893055454203906
The Holely One: "As the venom of this age of anonymity corrodes our institutions, rhe angry, perpetually agitated society it leaves behind may well remain liberal - but in name only."
ReplyDeleteAnd so our Holely Henry remains in eyes wide shut state doing absolutely nothing about the evils he preaches against, just sharting his dedicated contrariness day after day. But that's the life of a reptile, I guess - nothing better awaits them in their limited universe.
Well. what a treat, DP: the return of the Dismal Donners ! And a Donners who wants us to know that: "At a time when identifying as an Australian citizen is paramount, schools are told one of the essential core concepts is to embrace diversity and a subjective view of citizenship..."
ReplyDeleteOh good, because isn't that just what the Bromancer has been preaching to us ? Well, SloMo has been preaching to us via the Bromancer: "You are more than the things that others try to identify you by in this age of identity politics. You are more than your gender, your race, your ethnicity, your religion, your language group, your age."
So there ya go: once you remove gender, race, ethnicity, religion, language group and age, what's left ? Why, nothing at all but diversity and subjectiveness. Phew. Glad that's all sorted and settled.
But then Donners confounds it all: "The national curriculum fails the test of nation-building; [Nation-building ?] students will continue to leave school culturally illiterate". Well, my "schooling" ended 60 years ago, and we all left school "culturally illiterate" back then. So good to see that in this day and age venerable traditions are maintained.
But at least I did learn about the Tasmanian Black Line - did you ?
Hi Dorothy,
ReplyDeleteWith the Bromancer invoking Monty Python is this just too obvious?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHbzSif78qQ
DiddyWrote
Yes, well found, DW. I was going to look for that one myself later, so thanks for saving me the effort.
DeleteHi DP. Re our Henry’s accompanying image. I agree the cult master would have provided a much more fitting illustration on the topic of anonymousness. That iStock pic is a pathetically simplistic trope. Come to think of it, a lot of Lobbecke’s later stuff became more figurative and dull as he grew less confident of his weird cryptic pastiches.
ReplyDeleteIf the CM were tasked with conceptualising today’s Ergas exhalation I imagine he would have opted for a creepy troll doll in greatcoat, sunglasses and black fedora. A laptop would be floating around displaying phosphorescent green ones and zeros swirling out of the screen into the vanishing point. Indistinct chartreuse and puce shapes lurking in the background would add to the theme of subterfuge and nefariousness. There could also be capsicums and aspidistras hovering for reasons apparent only to the artist. Ah...memories.
Now that would have been a truly classic CM, Kez. What a pity there's nobody to render it for him.
Delete