In which the reptiles tremble at the notion of being held to account for their deep, abiding love of dinkum clean Oz coal ...

 

The reptiles are exceedingly dull and predictable this day, as they are most days, so the pond thought it might start off with news of an old pond favourite ... good old Cory ... it's been so long ...

 

Thank you Crikey, and being a screen cap, there'll be no clicking on that link, devotees will have to seek the click through by some other means, perhaps braving the paywall,  but the news brought back grand memories of Cory, and the news of that wine and tapas bar almost made the pond think of getting back on the grog to drown the sorrows of hearing the silly sayings of Scotty from glib, facile marketing...

And now, it being Thursday, it's on with the savvy Savva ...

 

 

Each day the reptiles offer up a fresh photo jab to the pond's eyeballs, how it regrets the lost glory days of the cult master ... whatever happened to Lobbecke, where did it all go wrong?

Never mind, on we go with the savvy Savva offering up the usual jabs ...

 

Uh oh ... the savvy Savva has been surprisingly benign, but good news is always followed by bad news ...

 

Indeed, indeed, but long gone are the days when the Nationals cared about farmers or treasures like the Liverpool plains. Big mining is their beat, but it seems the inner city cocktail-sipping 'leets have somehow formed a disgraceful alliance with farmers...

 

 

Wow, that cost a motza to remedy a fuck up ... but now who will speak up for dinkum, clean, pure innocent Oz coal? 

Luckily the savvy Savva has discovered a bright as a button champion of the lovely stuff with a refreshingly forthright capacity for Luddite thinking, because BP...

 

Yes, there's a way to go, and it certainly won't be to infest wine bars or follow Gladys, it'll be to deploy sharply humorous lines about the way to sort the climate science is to drop the hostility to coal ...

In such circumstances, the infallible Pope is to hand with thoughtful suggestions regarding a new fitness regime ...

Unfortunately, with the savvy Savva done, it's going to be another day heading down coal mine at five am after meal of pebbles and tar, with other reptile contributors, including another notable old pond favourite ...

 

 

How the reptiles love the talk of the fable of low-cost wind... why the wind they peddle is of exceedingly high quality and cost and is there anyone better at windy wind than the Moran, and there is absolutely no way that the pond would make a cheap joke observing that it's just a single letter that stops us from getting from moran to moron ...

Back in the day the Moran was a reliable climate denialist, but the winds have shifted, and so these days we need a more subtle and nuanced form of denialism ... a wringing of hands, a deep sighing, a look towards the indifferent heavens ...

 

Yes, Maddy and the moron are at one in recognising that all this talk of a climate crisis shouldn't mean poor old innocent dinkum Oz coal must be put to the sword ...

How is it that Australia's cruelty to coal has become a form of self-harm, when we would be much better off making a motza out of harming the planet?

 

But wait, this study of a national tragedy wouldn't be complete without a moronic use of the latest catch cry ... and no, it isn't 'cancel culture', tempting though that might be, it's the question of pursuing deplorable 'wokeness',  a term of abuse even the most feeble minded reptile reader might grasp is a bad thing, down there with sticking a fork in an electricity plug ...

 

Alas and alack, the problem is clear. There are genuine fears, and yet all the genuine evidence that coal is the way of the future is failing to calm all those genuine, but utterly misguided, foolish and woke fears ...

Oh it's a potent brew of clichés, and the competitive Chinese will go on fucking the planet, and it isn't fair, dinkum Oz coal lovers just want their share of the action ...

Well it seems that's the best that the reptiles can offer as the impending climate crisis approaches ... no, not the planetary crisis, SloMo's crisis in having to confront the newly woke US ...

And with that crisis in mind, there was one other contributor this day ...

 

Yes, we're not for turning, that image of SloMo holding up sweet coal for parliament to admire is burned into the noggin ... but at the same time, please note another chance to mourn the loss of the cult master.

Sure, it's a picture of a demonic figure designed to frighten the lizard Oz readership and the children hiding under the bed - why is he pointing at us mama? - but how much better if the image had been given a surreal, nightmarish twist ...

 

Actually when it comes to electric vehicles, comrade Dan has perfectly exemplified the confusion on all sides as to what to do with these monstrous attacks on the Australian way of life (just look at the chaos in The Age back in January).

But what a relief that a mindless survey should sort things out, and remember, when offering up a survey, it is important not to state the sample size, nor the margin of error, the actual framing of the questions asked, or any other trivia which might offer a perspective on the usefulness of the survey ...

Also it's vitally important not to provide a link to your website wherein the research might be easily found ...

What's the point, when surely fatuous answers to fatuous questions should satisfy every reptile reader ...

 

The power of example? With the Republicans ready to block anything that moves in the Senate? Well good luck with that and two cheers for nothing being done in the usual way ...

And now following the stupefying blandness of this simplistic Simon offering - and as the pond started with news from Crikey - how about the tail end of this rant?

 

 

The full version is at the paywall affected link here, but sadly you'll need a way to get behind the paywall to read Tony Boyd's piece at the AFR here ...

A couple of samples, on the basis that you won't be reading any of this in reptile la la land ...

 

Not to worry, there's no point in leaping ahead, our simplistic Simon has assured us that the best strategy is to keep sticking head in sand, and ignoring the planet ... because that's what surveys are for ...

How simple and reassuring it all was when the Donald was running the American ship, and nobody asked difficult, tricky questions ...

And so, thanks to Rowe, a note on another matter, with more notable Rowe offerings here ...

 

Naturally Sky offered up a stunning example of empathy and awareness that murder, no matter the lifestyle of the victim, actually crossed the line when it came to biblically inspired Anglo-Saxon attitudes ...

 

The pond knows what's a little bit off ...the entire reptile mean machine ... and as usual, if you want to know the truth about Floyd's crimes, why not look elsewhere? 

In fact, why not look elsewhere for everything, because anything presented by the loathsome reptiles at News Corp is sure to be full of lies, distortions, misrepresentations and assorted forms of loonacy ...