It's been a tough week for the reptiles, what with all this blather about the climate cult, and being forced to pay lip service and feign an interest in the fate of the planet, when really there's absolutely nothing wrong with a devotion to good old dinkum coal ...
What a relief then to have the onion muncher turn up, talking of the climate cult, and waging war on China.
It was like old times, like slipping into a favourite moth-eaten pair of smelly socks, and donning battered ugg boots with the whiff of sheep dag still clinging to the wool ... so familiar and comfortable ... almost so Adelaide, if it hadn't been so north shore ...
Who better to lead the charge in a lengthy set of weekend reptile follies?
Yes, yes, all that and more, and it's a strong start to the war on China, but please, the onion muncher is only getting started, and is ready to unveil a remarkable conspiracy theory if you'll only stick with him ...
Yes, yes, all that, but this is a trip down memory road, how soon do we get to talk about the climate cult? It's been so long since we first heard that climate science was a bunch of crap. How the pond has missed one of the best climate scientists doing the rounds with his penetrating insights ...
Must we go through a bit of war gaming with an armchair general, when we might have a bit of armchair climate scientist?
It seems we must ... but just as the pond had begun to despair, straight away, our bold conspiracy theorist produces a ripper ... jolly Joe doing a climate deal with Xi in return for a freer hand for the Chinese in Taiwan ...
Makes perfect sense. Is there nothing these treacherous, devious climate cargo cultists wouldn't do? Could it be that they've already sold Hong Kong down the river just so they can stop Australia selling pure, innocent, virginal coal to China?
At this point, the pond's head began to spin with infinite shades of conspiracy theory, including grey ... but realised too late that it had been indulging in spoilers, and should let the onion muncher speak ...
Indeed, indeed, quislings and weaklings all around, and Vichy businessmen selling us out, because that's what capitalists do. They have no souls, no courage, no willingness to stand and fight ... and worst of all, there are at this moment quisling Chinese-Australians in our midst willing to sell us down the river, and accuse us of being racist, when really, what's wrong with harking back to the 1930s and Churchill and all that?
At last it's out in the open. Forget Taiwan and all that nonsense about pretending to care. How could those bloody Chinese do it to sweet, innocent, pure, dinkum Oz coal.
How can this dire situation ever be fixed, thanks to all the talk by that dangerous, deadly climate cult ...
Surely, everyone knows that climate science is just crap ... and so it makes complete sense that Joe would be shameless in his desire to sell down Taiwan because of his hatred of innocent, sweet coal ...
Or some such thing ...
And don't get the onion muncher started on race, because he's colourblind and creed-free ... or so he says ... and don't get him started on all the pussies and wimps who have refused to die as a way of showing how to handle the virus ... wusses who are reluctant to make hard choices and keep a mask-free sense of perspective ...
Please, no cheap and easy shots ...
And what a resounding set of mindless, meaningless clichés for a closer!
Some say that the onion muncher is too old and rusty, and should be pensioned off, an irrelevant old fart past his use by date, but by golly, he's still got his mojo ... though some might wonder that, if this was the edited version, why they didn't save the lad with a little more hard pruning ...
Still, he's just asking hard questions and pondering away in his inimitable fashion, and surely he deserves a reward... perhaps an infallible Pope for his sublime effort ...
And speaking of being captured, the pond was captivated by Lloydie this day ...
The power of money! Such has been the long march through the institutions that the minions of Chairman Rupert are appalled at the sordid notion that people should make money while saving the planet, as capitalists are wont to do.
It goes without saying that Lloydie himself saved the Amazon, without any talk or argument over filthy lucre ... and he expects others to embrace this kind of noble insight, even if wildly divorced from failed Amazonian schemes and arguments over cash ...
Oh, it's a day for oldies but goodies, and it's easy to see why Lloydie has no time for cash or capitalists ...
Ah yes, vile, filthy lucre ... and hands out, just like a Caterist anxious to get his paws on a federal grant ...
Thank the long absent lord Lloydie is no wretched capitalist ...
Say what? They took a cheap, nasty shot at SloMo? Perhaps a compensating moment with the immortal Rowe?
And so to the last gobbet of Lloydie deploring money, as the long march of socialist thinking ruins the brightest Murdochian minds ...
Indeed, indeed, it's all about the money. How appalling to think that people might make money with a green approach, when Lloydie himself didn't have the first clue as to how to do it, and it all turned ugly ...
And so the usual reptile way of dealing with the climate crisis.
Bring in the Bjorn ...
Now the pond already has standing by the dog botherer, Dame Slap and prattling Polonius, but this is a day of old hits and great memories, and damned if the pond is going to leave the stadium before Bjorn plays his greatest hit.
Please, sing along with the pond and Bjorn, though the lyrics don't quite rhyme: "the effective way to address the real problem of climate change is to dramatically ramp up investment in green energy research and development."
Bjorn, trouper that he is, never gets tired of playing it. He's more repetitive than prattling Polonius mourning the lack of conservatives in the ABC and so it's usually just a matter of waiting until his one hit wonder turns up on the play list ...
By golly, it's not a graphic, but it's almost as good ... and now to tackle the climate cult, the hoax, the fraud, the cow dung that purports to be a science, but is in reality a religion ... (or so the onion muncher has said, and the pond only reads from the OM bible) ...
But how much for a fucked planet? Priceless, and no need to worry about the cost of living, because dying is cheap and easy ... and if the seas should rise, how the rich and the poor will cop it alike ...
An even bigger mystery is how Bjorn manages in every column to sound exactly the same ... the pond had thought the days of macros in Microsoft Word were long gone, but see how handy they are still ...
And so to the moment the pond has been waiting for so patiently. Wait, watch, thar she blows ...
"...the effective way to address the real problem of climate change is to dramatically ramp up investment in green energy research and development."
Stupid people will be wondering who is going to stump up the cash in the paw to be able to afford to dramatically ramp up investment ... but the answer is simple. Give it to Bjorn, he knows ways to piss money against the wall, why he even has a foundation that reports on useless surveys offering hysterical, eye watering data...
Yep, all we need to do is fix the energy bill and every thing will be hunky dory, because our Bjorn won't be satisfied until we've looted the planet and reduced it to rubble. Remember, a little green innovation will always fix what ails ya ... and you can keep on with the frenzied looting at a fine old pace ...
And with that thought the pond wraps up this trek through golden oldies, spinning the onion muncher platters that matter ...
Tomorrow will be another day, and with the climate cargo cult solved, the pond can turn to other meditative matters ... for the moment, all that's needed is another Rowe to meditate on, with more meditation-inspiring Rowe always here ...
What a Saturday: Onion-muncher Abbott, the Bjorn-again Lomborg, and his 'mini-me', Lloydie.
ReplyDeleteIt's impossible to encounter the Onion-muncher without seriously contemplating the gross stupidity of a nation where he could be elected as PM. Didn't last long, so maybe Australians aren't quite as blind, deaf and stupid as Americans (Trump) or Britains (Johnson) but long enough. And talking about Johnson, I see that Marina Hyde has had a few chouce words to say about him ("The alleged Dominic Cummings leaks may just be a distraction from the bigger issue: we’re led by a man with no self-discipline and a very busy phone" https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2021/apr/23/boris-johnsons-text-addiction-dominic-cummings )
But hey, just like Churchill, he's in for life now).
But quoting the verbal Onion: "Just five years ago most of us were China oprimists. We thought that economic freedom would lead to political liberalisation too." Well here's one little bunny who didn't think anything of the kind - who remembers Tiananmen and just enough of the entirety of Chinese history, at least dating from the origin if Ch'ina under the first emperor Qin Shi Huang (aka Ch'in) and his murderous mass slavery in the building of the first Great China Wall.
That and the fact that the Chinese, for all their vaunted intelligence, have never once managed, off their own bat, to invent any form of even approximately 'politically liberalised' government, and have always bloodily repressed any attempt to achieve it. What did people think that Chiang Kai Shek and Mao Zedong were on about: a democratic love in ?
In comparison, Bjorn and Lloydy are just rat's farts: they've got their mindless catechism and they're sticking to it come hell or high water (and when the high water comes, hell will definitely come with it). But in the meantime they're having their moment of glory agreeing with ScottyfromMarketing that "technology is the answer". Hooray !
outstanding work these last 2 days Dorothy, I still don't know how you have the stomach for wading though the feculent drivel from the Op Eds of the Aus but I'm glad you do it so we don't have to.
ReplyDeleteDunno what we'd do without her, rf.
DeleteHi Dorothy,
ReplyDelete“As one highly quoted study concludes, “the main effect of carbon tariffs is to shift the economic burden of developed‐world climate policies to the developing world”.
As Bjornie doesn’t name the study, my ‘spider sense’ was instantly tingling. A quick google soon came up with this;
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/sjoe.12211
The Scandinavian Journal of Economics. Wow, how impressive.
The lead author Christoph Böhringer, is an economist at the University of Oldenburg. Colour me surprised when it turns out that Christoph also likes to publish pieces at The Copenhagen Consensus Center which of course is Bjornie’s cash cow.
https://www.copenhagenconsensus.com/expert/christoph-böhringer
Yesterday the reptiles gave us a lengthy explanation why Climate Change modelling is a crock of shit with too many variables to even attempt any predictions. Supplied of course by a guy who probably has a ton of BP shares from when he was their Chief Scientist.
Today however Lomborg pulls a long list of extremely precise numbers and costs predicted for the long term economic future, presumably from his Scandinavian sphincter. Economic predictions which generally have as much rigour at predicting the future as have been achieved by watching the movement of birds or inspecting the entrails of sacrificed beasts.
DiddyWrote
I don’t think they are cunning enough to have crafted that headline ‘Don’t make the poor pay for climate change.’ It is quite unexceptionable. Of course, the guff that follows (‘rf’ - i was tempted to borrow your ‘feculant’ - great word in the right context, which is where you placed it) did not follow that proposition. If the climate continues to change, there is no doubt the poor will ‘pay’, by being so much more exposed to the effects.
ReplyDeleteAnd yet, some of the poor countries (how did Lord Downer characterise them?) have been responding. Bangladesh is a handy example. For several decades that country has been committed to regenerating mangroves along its seacoast. It has had technical assistance, albeit low key, from Australia, from the start, and the program is successful. Its costs are modest, but the regeneration is stabilising land form, providing extra physical protection against storm surge, (which is only likely to increase in intensity) and provides habitat for food species, wood for charcoal, and other benefits which can be imputed a cash value.
All that stands in contrast to what is happening with many mangrove coasts around the Indo-Pacific, which are under threat in the name of - development, which deprives local people of the means of subsistence, in return for which they might score a job raking the new beaches, or selling tat to tourists.
No, no, there couldn't possibly be any kind of negative outcome of climate change that would result in anybody "paying for it" other than directly through their wallet. They've got all that wonderful "modelling" from Koonin, Lomborg, Judith Curry et al to tell them so.
DeletePity they have neither eyes nor minds.