So many wars on so many fronts, so many reptile warriors needed ...

 

 

The drums of war heard round the world ... and thank the long absent lord we have the empire behind us, though sadly it's not so much Bojo's empire, more concerned with the price of wallpaper of late, as the Murdochian empire ... still, if William Randolph Hearst can start a war, why not our onetime dirty digger?

And so the empire continued on a war footing today, with SloMo inspecting the troops ...

 

 

There were rumblings on all fronts. Yesterday Jack the Insider got terribly upset ...

Oh yes the sneering left, and yet anyone not into imaginary friends can surely reserve the right to enjoy a sneer at Islamics, Scientologists, clap happies, ravaging tykes, spaghetti monsters and anyone else wandering around in the ether speaking in tongues, or even just doing an Elmer Gantry ...

Poor old Jack, gone a little addled in the head of late, but it's war alright, war on so many fronts ... and naturally  that keyboard warrior, the bromancer, was out and about campaigning ...

 

Ah, the pond can remember the old days, when public servants went about their business discreetly and left matters of war to their political masters, but these days, when it's war, there must be all hands on the reptile deck ...

 

Two brave and bold warriors together!That should keep the hysterics in line, and settle their hysteria! They couldn't recognise lofty historical judgements if they were bitten in the bum by them, not like The Times and reptile warriors bravely pounding their keyboards, doing a tour of duty! Hard hats on hard heads! Deadly force, as deadly as a steely glare from the bromancer!

 

Say what, it would not be a good thing for a bureaucrat to make speeches every day?

But heck, why not score a mention at the top of the page on The Times when you can by being brave, bold, unbloodied - long gone are the days you could get a paper cut shuffling files - and resolute?

 

Indeed, indeed, it's the drums of war pounding for peace, as noted this day by the infallible Pope ... and what a musical sound they make ...

 

 

 

But what's this? Someone has opened up a different front, and in the lizard Oz of all places, and cheek by jowl with the bromancer, brave warrior that he is?

 

 

Oh come now, Mr Shanahan, it's war and what is needed are warriors on the front line. They also serve who pound a keyboard, and prepare a front page covering many fronts ...

 

 

Look at all those wars ... look at the demand for warriors, and yet you seem to want to quibble in a petty way, unbecoming of a warrior ... as if they who shuffle files don't also serve ...

 

Amazons? But there are brave female warriors going about their business this very day! Dinkum Amazonian women, the last line of defence ...

 

 

Please, a little time in the military shouldn't blind you to the work of Amazons, celebrated in an EXCLUSIVE way by the reptiles of Oz ...

 

 

Oh come now, there are warrior heroes about every day in the lizard Oz, valiantly fighting and feuding and fussing ... and even today there was a call to arms that will resonate for weeks in the inner Sydney suburb of Surry Hills, because the pesky, difficult blacks are at it again, as if the frontier wars hadn't been sorted long ago ...

 

 

Hah, the real world. Talk about a term that needs inverted commas. The "real world"?! Yes, even as you complain about warriors, the clarion cry rings out for warriors to advance to the front. Western civilisation is under threat yet again, and who knows soon we'll have to give up meat, or perhaps someone in India might suggest a little mask wearing, when we all know masks are rightly reserved for Marvel and D. C. warriors (and let's not forget The Phantom, for those who came in late to the story of mask wearing and milk drinking).

 

How quaint. An actual soldier with operational service. What on earth would he know up against a spiritual leader and brave warrior of the bromancer or public servant kind?! Humbug and reptile window dressing. There's a war on many fronts going down, and the reptiles know how to milk it, be it the war on meat, or the outrageous insistence on masks. Freedumb for Tucker, freedumb for the Bolter!

And now an apology, because the pond for a moment, in all the fuss, lost track of the bullets in its magnum, and almost forgot that other war ... but luckily the savvy Savva was on hand to remind the pond ...

 

 

Yea, oh ye sinners, righteousness shall exalt the nation! You shall speak in tongues to imaginary friends, and tread the path to redemption in the better world to follow ...

How weird could it get? Sorry savvy Savva, the pond would like to pause a moment just to quote David Hardaker. There's more at Crikey here, paywall affected, but this is a good sampler ...

Weird shit, but that's the sort of stuff you'll find out west and south Tamworth way ... but what an inspiration Hillsong is for us all ...

 

 

And let's not forget that inspirational warrior Jerrry, of Liberty fame, but now please, do go on, into the exalted path of righteousness ...

 

Ah the evil one. Would it be wrong of the pond to repeat the infallible Pope's warning?

 

 

And now suitably warned and prepared, back to the savvy Savva, and the hand of god and signs and portents and chicken entrails .... and soaring eagles ...

 

Phew, it turns out Ken isn't exactly cheap ... $1,900 to $3,340, depending on size and frame, always the key to pricing quality art ... now that's what the pond calls soaring majestic pricing ...

But how good we should have a messianic Messiah to lead the reptiles' holy crusades ...

 

Oh the pond doesn't know, there's a war on, and Elmer Gantry style hustlers will do what needs to be done, and land wherever they can, as noted by the immortal Rowe, with more immortal Rowe here ...