In which the reptile empire must strike back against the rebel alliance, while celebrating the deeds of the Emperor ...

 

 

The pond does appreciate the ongoing coverage of the urbane Urban of a national crisis, but really, a nation of cretins? Is this how the reptiles talk about their readership, even if they are a bunch of deplorables?

But the pond had to leave that bone alone, because the reptiles are gnawing at an even bigger problem ... 

You see, some have to ravage the heretic Malware, while others have been assigned to the worship of SloMo ... and it's tough work, however you chew it.

Please allow the pond to begin with the ravaging, because there's something compelling about the reptiles' fascination with Malware ...

 

 

Just look him, more smirk than smile, waving out at the world, a fair imitation of the reptiles' worst nightmare, a veritable Freddy Krueger ... 

This will require an extensive session on the Freudian couch ...

 

 

Oh the treacherous, vile heretic, the apostate, the left-leaning, media-loving wretch ... is there no end to his perfidy, turning up everywhere. 

Quick, do an interview, give him more oxygen ...

 

Oh poor, pitiful Mr Pitt, and by that we don't mean to defame Pitt the elder or Pitt the younger. Rather it's a way of noting that you shouldn't pit a lesser Pitt against a pitiless opponent ...

 

By this point the pond was reeling in shock at this outright assault on reptile sensibilities, and yearning for a Dame Slap to set things right, but first knew it had to endure this endless treachery ...

 

 

SloMo was widely judged to have handled it well? "Widely", of course refers to anal-gazing reptiles, at least the ones not entranced by endless staring at their wholly admirable belly buttons ... what pretty fluff ... but it's a measure of just how much Malware has put the wind up the reptiles. After years of climate science denialism, this is their reward?

 

Phew, it all sounds dire, but luckily the bouffant one could end with an uplifting message of hope from a couple of Messiah lovers ...

 

Thank the long absent lord for brave folk like the mutton Dutton and Concetta kind, but better still, send in the cavalry, by which the pond means Dame Slap, to give those rogues a good drubbing ... though in the course of the drubbing, Dame Slap will hit on a preposterous twist (no spoilers) ...

Funny, the pond thought the expression was shut up and dribble, but there's a goodly chance that Dame Slap doesn't know anything about basketball (though really she should know about Laura). And as for that polyptych of four PMs, it tends to confuse, it tends to conflate. Aren't we just having a go at Malware and former Chairman Rudd? And even worse, their sour grapes refusal to admit that "Lord" Monckton had right the devious plans of the UN government to establish a world government by Xmas ...

 

Um, it'll take a bit of doing for Dame Slap to explain the endless quest by the onion muncher for ongoing relevancy ... what with him lacking gravitas, and any legacy apart from knighthoods and division ... but the pond is sure she'll manage it ... and produce the first genuinely rich and dignified pond laugh for the weekend ... by claiming that the onion muncher understands dignity! And speaks only rarely!

 

And now for the twist. At this point, the reptiles inserted a snap of Julia, and Dame Slap praised her ...

 

Gone are the days of "Ditch the Witch", and putting her in a chaff bag and dropping her out at sea. Instead, because she shuts up and doesn't bother the reptiles or Dame Slap, she's become a new gold standard ...

Wait, it's a slow burn, we'll get to Julia, and in the meantime Dame Slap must give those naughty boys a good spanking... though the more she carries on about them, the more the pond doesn't mind them poking at the Murdochian beast. That doesn't mean the pond has to read or listen to them, but rather be pleased to know they're there,  out in the ether somewhere, and shit-stirring and making the beast irritable ... poke the beast, prod the beast, make it squirm ...

 

Indeed, indeed, and the pond was reminded of the news in the Weekly Beast, here ... suggesting just how far the odious pair have got under reptile skins, and how the attack dog has mounted an attack, dressed up as a "documentary" ...

Chris Kenny might not have landed an interview with either Malcolm Turnbull or Kevin Rudd for his Sky News Australia documentary but he is very clear on how he feels about the two former PMs so a chat may have been redundant.
“Instead of any self-examination and accepting failure on their own part, they are both out there trying to blame others and it’s not just News Corp,” Kenny told Mediaweek ahead of Men in the Mirror: Rudd & Turnbull on Sunday. “They are trying to blame and seek revenge on former political colleagues.”
Kenny, however, denies he is in any way trying to seek revenge on Rudd and Turnbull for their support of a royal commission into Rupert Murdoch’s empire, an empire in which he is a star columnist, editorial writer, broadcaster and all-round attack dog.
“Not at all,” Kenny says. “This is just a fascinating story. Nobody needs to pay anybody back for any criticism. They can say what they like.”
The Australian’s associate editor says there “has always been a fixation on Murdoch from the loopy left of Australian politics” and he remembers doing stories at the ABC in his early 20s “about the evil Murdoch empire”.
Kenny’s interview list tells you all you need to know about the tone of the doco: former Labor leader Mark Latham, former editor-in-chief of the Australian newspaper Chris Mitchell, Sky News anchor and former Turnbull staffer Peta Credlin and Rudd’s brother Greg.
 

What a team, what a hatchet job. And what a service Faux News has done to MAGA hat loons of the Dame Slap kind ... which might explain why she still gets a little misty-eyed at the thought of the inspirational Donald ...

 

Yep, Malware and former Chairman Rudd are on to something. The pond used to think it was cruel to poke and prod at circus animals, but when it's a flock of reptiles, the more poking and prodding the better ...

And so to the other reptile duty, which is to explain the wonders of SloMo and Josh, and naturally nattering "Ned" was assigned that task.

As a result, it's a never-ending journey, but the pond was excited by one momentous return (no spoilers) ...

 

"Ned" took on the huge task of explaining how big spending government and big deficits were no longer an issue. We are all Keynesian FDR types now ...

 

Already the pond was bored, and couldn't help but think of recent talk of the Messiah come to save us...

It ran in the Graudian under the header Scott Morrison rejects idea he believes God chose him to be PM after warning against ‘identity politics’.

Scott Morrison has rejected suggestions he believes God chose him to be prime minister, hitting back at critics of his speech to the Australian Christian Churches conference.
Morrison told 2GB Radio on Friday that his comments suggesting he received divine inspiration to run for office were merely an expression of the fact Christians believe “whatever you do every day … is part of your Christian service”.
It comes after a speech on Thursday evening in which Morrison warned against “identity politics” and gave a fuller account of how his political philosophy is shaped by Christian values.
In a speech to a Jewish community fundraising appeal, Morrison argued that the belief in human dignity leads to the conclusion people matter “individually” rather than for attributes such as sex, race or religion.

Not the chosen one? He's just a naughty boy?

The pond was immediately reminded of Peter ...

Now Peter sat without in the palace: and a damsel came unto him, saying, Thou also wast with Jesus of Galilee. But he denied before them all, saying, I know not what thou sayest. And when he was gone out into the porch, another maid saw him, and said unto them that were there, This fellow was also with Jesus of Nazareth. And again he denied with an oath, I do not know the man. And after a while came unto him they that stood by, and said to Peter, Surely thou also art one of them; for thy speech betrayeth thee. Then began he to curse and to swear, saying, I know not the man. And immediately the cock crew. And Peter remembered the word of Jesus, which said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice. And he went out, and wept bitterly.

But now back to "Ned" and the good news that we can spend, spend, spend ... with the onion muncher just roadkill, entrails pecked at by crows ... how many times can you do a jolly Joe and put "jobs" into a single speech?

 

Before the pond gets to the big reveal, it would like to brood a little more about the uneasy SloMo, torn between crowing cock and the hand of god, again thanks to the Graudian here ...

...Bridging the world of faith and the world of politics, Morrison also articulated a set of philosophical propositions that didn’t really cohere. Community was everything, but so was individualism. While community was everything, it mustn’t express itself in “identity politics” – which seemed odd, given identity politics is an umbrella term describing how individuals with shared values form communities and face off against oppression and injustice.
It seemed strange for Morrison, who weaponises identity politics at the drop of a hat when it suits him, to be bagging identity politics, which at its essence is a form of fellowship. And particularly strange to be bagging it at an ACC gathering, where attendees were gathered in the shared expression of identity through their marker of commonality – their Christian faith.
While these things were diverting, I was more interested in Morrison’s expressed belief that his prime ministership was a calling “for a time and for a season, and God would have us use it wisely”. Morrison also shared that when he woke up in the morning, front of mind was the incantation “for such a time as this, for such a time as this” – which is a religious reference to God’s purpose being achieved through human leadership.
While Christians are routinely schooled to be servants of God’s will, there is a literalism in Morrison’s expression of his calling. I’m profoundly interested in this literalism, because not all Christian faith expresses itself in these terms.
What are the limits of Morrison’s religious literalism? I ask the question, because I really don’t know the answer, and knowing the answer is important, because it is relevant to understanding how the prime minister deliberates and conducts his public duties.
Speaking of important, faith is a gift, but doubt is also important. In my own religious instruction, faith was always shadowed by doubt. The two qualities co-existed, in dialogue with each other, because doubt is the quality of humility that should walk with faith.
Doubt makes you open. Doubt makes you listen. Doubt breaks your heart, which makes you remember you have one. Doubt makes you empathise and learn and adapt rather than requiring the world to bend to your requirements because you are the chosen bearer of God’s mandate.
I’m going to say this as clearly as I can.
Australia, right now, could use a prime minister who doubted himself a bit more, because it would mean Morrison would listen more than he does.
Those of us raised in Christian traditions are taught to believe that God rewards the faithful, and confidence can be an excellent quality in a political leader.
But in the human world, righteous certainty, a sense of manifest destiny, is a hard barrier to listening.

Of course the pond could have gone with former Chairman Rudd railing at SloMo in the Graudian here, but the chairman's job is to agitate and irritate the reptiles, not distract from the pond's rapt attention to "Ned" ...

 

Forget all that, here's the important news. The cult master has returned! The pond has no idea where he went or what he was doing, but does wonder if the pond's incessant pleading had something to do with his return.

Perhaps not, perhaps the reptiles simply realised their grievous, most grievous error, and decided to rectify their ways ...

 

 

Of course the pond had to give it a big screen blow up, with the chaotic, confused efforts of the mechanics splashing cash everywhere a nice contrast to the dull, uxorious carry-on offered by "Ned's" natter ...

 

Ah, as usual, "Ned" had to turn to outside guidance, so he could report the thoughts of others, because being an aged bear, sometimes the thinking gets a little Pooh hard ...

 

 

Yeah, whatever ... though "Ned" lovers might wonder if the aged lad forget all his earlier talk of activist government and a new world where governments must do more ... but at least there's only a short gobbet to go ...

 

Thank the long absent lord there wasn't a single mention of climate science ... for that the pond must turn to the infallible Pope ...

 

And so to a breaking of the pond's golden rule that three shall be the maximum number, three and no more... occasionally two, but rarely one, and never more than three ... because yesterday beefy Angus, boofhead first class, was out and about, and the pond just knew it had to record his sayings ...

 

 

Sorry you can't watch Ticky doing beefy, but that's what happens with screen caps, and anyway the pond isn't really sorry, because there was all sorts of beefy goodness in the accompanying text, more than enough to satisfy the daily bodily requirements for climate science denialism ...

 

Of course it doesn't matter a fig or a toss if Beefy's against it if others decide it's in their best interests to bung on a do, but that's Beefy for you ... a sublime capacity to get figures wrong when berating a Lord Mayor and clueless when it comes to climate science ...

 

 

We have outperformed?

Isn't walking, talking delusion a grand sight, and how the reptiles love it ... and naturally it's followed by a generous bout of fear mongering ...

 

He's not going to speculate? No he's going to produce pure essence of Beefy fudge, and blather about gas ... and evaluation and time being of the essence, because our Beefy knows corporate speak, and can assemble a line of clichés faster than you can say climate science ...

 

 

And so to the Rowe of the day, with more Rowe here. It doesn't have anything to do with the foregoing, but it does add to the pond's collection of cartoons on a certain theme ... because dammit, the Indian Supreme Court has said this sort of collection is okay ...