In which the pond gets out the taxpayer subsidy and the baseball bat because it's Caterist day ...

The reptiles have been out and about this day with a story which has been described as a complete fabrication, or a tremendous beat-up, but the pond shares the reptile anger and indignation. The sooner we stop foreign businessmen playing footsies with Saudi princes the better ...

There's simply too much of it that's gone down to be easily forgiven ...

Shocking, enough already.

Meanwhile, the outrageously alarmist Climate Council has been out and about banging their hysterical warmist drum, proposing that things got a little warmer last winter, as can be read at the Graudian's Australia's record-breaking winter beats average highs by 2C, Climate Council says ...

Naturally the Fairfaxians and the cardigan-wearers at the ABC have also picked it up ...

It was the fifth warmest winter on record for average temperatures, and the driest since 2002. Daytime temperature averages were above average for almost the entire country; more than 90% of Australia was in the highest 10% of historical observations. And as summer approaches, a third of the country is at above average risk from bushfire damage as a result of the hot, dry weather.

Damn them and their hysteria, but that meant there was a chance for a reasonable, rational contribution to the discussion, all the more so because things have been going ever so well of late in the Caribbean ...

Oh sure Dominican Republic types might bleat, but luckily, it was Caterist day, and what would the Dominicans know up against a Caterist on the case ...

Judging by the comments landing in the pond, a dedicated band of reptile lovers continue to have fun at the herpetarium ... with the Oreo a particular favourite, but with all the pond pets producing much joy.

The comments also ensure the pond spends the day energised and dancing with delight - who could resist the bromancer being called "seismic jelly"?

The best thing is that the pond doesn't have to spend any time actually analysing what the reptiles say ...there are plenty of others who understand a crocodile tastes best when stewed slowly ....

And speaking of a particularly rubbery form of stewed reptile jelly, Caterist day involves a number of traditional pond rituals.

First up is a contribution to the Godwin's Law swear jar, thanks to the fascist Hitler-loving Caterists invoking "mafia" as a term of abuse, because naturally everyone involved with renewable energy is just auditioning for a role in a Puzo novel, or a Coppola film ...

You see, once "mafia" is introduced into the discussion, naturally the pond has to revert to Hitler and the Nazis, and who knows, Indiana Jones and the ark and Judeo-Christian civilisation, and next thing you know, the Godwin's Law swear jar has provided enough for a slap-up meal of da spaghett in a classy joint...

Damn you greenie renewable Mafia types, can Goodfellas be far behind?

Yep that's the renewables Mafia in action, and what good movies they make ...

There's nothing like polite, civilised, reasoned rational discourse and discussion, except of course when a decent stabbing or a baseball bat to the head or a tommy gun shooting is to be expected from the Nessian Untouchable Caterists taking on the Mafia renewable mob ...

And then there was that other noble Caterist tradition invoked by old Nick, who's not above a little nicking himself ...

You see, he righteously drew himself up to his full, if rather limited height, and spoke indignantly of the suffering of taxpayers, as in "taxpayers shouldn't have to carry the cost of subsidising unstable energy generation."

And at that point, as it always does, the pond thought that "taxpayers shouldn't have to carry the cost of subsidising Oz reptiles emitting blather about the greenie Mafia" ...

And with those rituals out of the way, the pond could get on with the offering of the day, knowing that the Department of Finance had done its bit for the Caterists, and the comments section could bring out the baseball bats ...

By golly, those deeply vested in coal must each day thank the long absent lord they have such a stout-hearted climate denialist beavering away for them ... and with such a rich compendium of cliches to hand, with the latest variation "international climate gurus."

The pond was pleased to know that the Caterists are over climate science, though to tell the truth, the pond hadn't realised they'd even begun with climate science ...

After all, there only needs to be a passing mention of science when an invocation of the Mafia is a much more reasoned and detailed argument ...

We might wish that - in a righteous fit of indignation - the Caterists returned their grant to the Department of Finance

Now let's hear it for dinkum Aussie coal, oi oi oi, and a poignant plea for the suffering poor, and talk of the hypocrisy of the compassionate class, seeing as how they're always pilfering the taxpayer's pocket, wallet and purses for grants ...

Indeed, indeed, it really did take the pond's breath away. 

Poor old taxpayers suffering every which way and being soaked by scurrilous, shameless leeches feasting on their blood ...and yet only offering intermittent performance, say once a week in the commentariat columns of the lizard Oz ... rather like soft fruit, though if strawberries these days are soft fruit, the pond has no understanding of what "soft" means ...

Did anyone else read that story in the New Yorker about the way that pandering to the needs of supermarkets while delivering strawberries to consumers resulted in a typical bout of American weirdness, patents, legal actions, conspiracy theories, paranoia, etc ... How Driscoll's Reinvented the Strawberry ? (luckily outside the paywall for the moment ...).

It seemed almost designed to evoke how sublimely silly and ill-informed the Caterists can be when it comes to understanding and analysing matters ...

The pond digresses, as it often does when confronted by a Caterist, and so back for a final gobbet of mushy strawberries, beaten to a pulp and with heaps of sugar added to take away the acid finish ...

Actually the pond would prefer to call it the bloated Department of Finance effect ...

And so, since these dullards with their references to the Mafia and the marketplace, managed, along with their coal-driven climate denialism, to produce a copper-plated broadband, the pond thought it might celebrate their success with a few cartoons ... (with more David here and on Twitter here).

But at least there's one politician willing to show the joy to be discovered in holding up a piece of paper for the cameras ...