How could the mature, discerning older gentleman reader ever doubt the pond ... or Sharri?

The pond has, as its Friday pleasure taken to spending quality time with Sharri of the Terror, but the sweet thing was displaced by reptile talk of the terribly useless and remarkably expensive Malware postal survey ...

But how could mature, discerning gentlemen readers doubt that the pond would fail offer them a tasty treat, albeit a late-breaking one, perhaps for those who like a port with a sharp cheddar ...

This time the conversation is generally dull and tediously righteous, with Sharri feeling put upon, but it's a very slow build to a Putin punch-line ...

Now the pond can feel restless gentlemen readers asking "are we there at the Putin joke yet?"

But there is important Sharri business to do. You see, the reptiles at this point featured a still of Comrade Bill, but the pond felt the need to make it very small ...

Why the fiend is smiling and seemingly benign, and in any case, the pond only pays attention to Comrade Bill when he's delivering zingers on Micallef, one of the few shows the pond watches on their ABC ... if only because the pond is routinely mad as hell ...

Of course what made the pond mad is that the Terrorists should have run were photos of Sharri ... proper ones, of a size and kind designed to appeal to the mature and discerning gentleman reader ... and it's a sorry indication of the state of tabloid journalism that it seems the pond must do it for them ...

And with that duty done, the pond could move on to more deep thoughts from Sharri ...

Now here's where the Sharri righteousness really cranks into gear, so the pond thought it best to offer a smiling Sharri so any stray gentleman reader might be mollified ...

It will be noted that Sharri "came across" a card, no doubt in the same spirit that the human headline was embroiled in the witch hunt, except when he was deemed not to be a witch this day, apparently because he'd survived his time on the dunking stool ...

Indeed, indeed, and the pond will be mightily pleased when all the foreigners are removed from parliament and perhaps from the land, and we'll have smiling Sharri to thank for it ...

If three generations on, the pond can at last chose to live in Ireland or perhaps in Germany ...

And now for a splendid illustration ...

Now it's true that in the old days a George Orwell 1984 sighting would be enough for the pond to pass around the Godwin's Law swear jar ...

But the pond wants more ... dammit, there's been a big build to a Putin punch line, and Sharri's certain not to fail ...

If she can deliver George she can damn well deliver Vlad the impaler ...

Forget all that talk of cocky young blokes, forget that wondrous celebration of the Terror as a bastion of the free press and a deliverer of truth ...

The pond expects every Terrorist to be truly up themselves.

Rather, admire the masterstroke of the punch in the very final punch line ...

Vlad Putin's Russia!

Why it puts Comrade Zinger Bill's zingers to shame for the limp zingers they are ...

Vlad Putin's Russia!!

Well it's of a one with the recent discovery that Comrade Bill, a Stalinist, will turn the country into Cuba or possibly Venezuela, unless it happens to become like China in the 1950s, with the Chairman playing the role of Mao ... though with his Catholic background, perhaps it will be the Inquisition ...

What it says to the pond is that Sharri is an astute student, one who quickly catches on to the fashionable argot and jargon doing the Terror rounds ...

Yes, she's an excellent student

Might it not have been best just to let the High Court decide on these matters? Is Sharri better placed to know how things might fall out for all of them, from Barners to the Human headline, stopping at Ecuador along the way?

Well for a moment there, the reptiles could see Malware's government riding off into oblivion on the back of a Kiwi sheep ...

Having mocked the greenies for their stupidity, suddenly everyone was aghast at the fate of Barners ... and so something had to be done ... and so we finally arrive at Vlad the impaler ...

So if the comrade is Vlad, what historical figure do we look to for Malware, given the baleful and deliberate way he's lied in this bizarre affair? 

Genghis Khan? Benito? Berlusconi? Well it does give it an Italian flavour, which would possibly be appreciated by certain dual citizens who tried to blame their mum ...

Just when the pond thought it had done with the Pope, suddenly the Pope hovered back into view with all this talk of Vlad Putin and class warfare and Cuba and Stalin and Mao (and more useful Pope can be found here).

In the meantime, so many plaques, and so little time ...