In which the pond embarks on an epic journey of nattering negativity with choleric Dame Slap, the Devine and the Terror editorialist ...

It goes without saying that the pond thought it wrote this blog, so it probably already has, and any stray reader who thinks they've already read it, don't worry, you probably already have.

The pond, you, we, me, he, she, they, are all in the grip of future mindpower, or perhaps the sheer repetition produced by a love of the reptiles.

It kicks in each day, as we trudge over the same old ground, with just the occasional fresh variation ...

Speaking of those variations, the reptiles were naturally outraged at the assault on freedom of speech revealed in this reptile report...

Sorry, you'll need the mindpower necessary to produce the sound of crickets chirping in the digital ether ...

As the official home of the "no" vote, even those at the lizard Oz who claim to be voting "yes" will naturally produce odious unpleasant carping sounds ...

And then there are the seriously delusional, who must be presented in the best possible light ...

Indeed, indeed, and in other EXCLUSIVES an  enormous crowd turned up at the Donald's inauguration, as certified recently by Colbert at the Emmys to the consternation of the crowd.

The silly old bugger shouting at clouds produced a couple of exceptional lines ...

"A man and a man and a woman and a woman can have a similar relationship, but it's different," he said. "A black man and a white man are equal, but they're clearly different. A black man will never be a white man and vice versa." (here).

As fuckwitted remarks go, it's right up there, and is another reminder of why the pond never watches their ABC, and is always late to the party, just like the reptiles blathering on EXCLUSIVELY about HHHUUUGGGEE support like a delusional down under Donald ...

But wait, all this has just been an elaborate courtship dance, a way of beguiling the unwary into an exhausting, never-ending waltz with reptile despair ...

You see, this day, Dame Slap, the Devine and the Terror editorialist have lost their mindpower and are in the grip of a serious choleric condition. They think they've already said it, and they probably have, but they must, perforce, say it again ...

Please allow the pond to start first with Dame Slap ...

Indeed, indeed, what we need to do is match the twentieth century, which managed a couple of world wars and a holocaust ...

Of course in the pond's day, it was routine to be stopped in Peel street in Tamworth so that some silly old fart of the Roger Corbett kind could get in the way, and subject the pond to an endless harangue which without fail began "now in my day blacks were black and whites were white, and ..."

And for pinko perverts, maestro, please cue Dame Slap wandering Surry Hills as if she was in Peel street ...

Now never no mind the contradiction between deploring socialism and the boon of government-mandated vaccinations (the pond grew up in the days when polio was still a possibility).

What we have here is an even bigger disease of the intestines and the mind ...

Confronted with this sort of carry-on, back in the pond's day, the pond would have reverted to Robert Burton's The Anatomy of Melancholy, which can be Greg Hunted at Project Gutenberg here, and diagnosed a choleric condition, which invariably results in terminal confusion and contradiction ...

But speaking of infestations of the intestines, it's back to Dame Slap ...

Indeed, indeed, and if John Howard, currently doing his best to sound like an Islamic fundamentalist for the "no" case, is the man to talk of cultural McCarthyism and if Dame Slap is an example of liberalism in action, then the world is seriously fucked, or at least in urgent need of Burtonian analysis ...

But lo, see how easy it is to reach the final Dame Slap gobbet ...

Actually, if the pond might be so bold, each day it reads the lizards of Oz, it's reminded that going backwards each day is one of the singular reptile achievements of our time ... and with a bit of luck, thanks to Dame Slap wanting to MAGA, we might yet produce a third world war ...

Speaking of backward travellers, intestines and mindpower, could there be anyone more backward than the Devine?

Yep, the Devine is also suffering from the same choleric condition ... but in one astonishing little burst suggests she's not a wowser ...

Now there's a laugh ... because at the same time she's sticking a "no" sign at the top of her routinely Catholic fundamentalist bigoted column ...

As this is an epic journey, the pond would just like to diverge a little, off to the NY Times to find the Devine's mindpower soul mates at work in Turkey ...

Turkey’s education system, which has long provided a secular education to religious and secular students alike, has come under scrutiny by the government following the attempted coup on July 15, 2016, culminating in the firing of more than 33,000 teachers and the closing of scores of schools. At the same time, the ruling Islamic-inspired Justice and Development Party has significantly increased the number of religious schools, known as imam hatip schools, and promoted Mr. Erdogan’s professed goal of raising a “pious generation” of Turks. 
Following the new changes, evolutionary concepts like natural selection will be removed from the high school curriculum, along with any mention of Darwin, the English naturalist whose theory has become a mainstay of biology classes around the world. The education minister, Ismet Yilmaz, has praised the overhaul of the country’s curriculum as a necessary corrective that emphasizes a values-based education. Evolutionary biology, he had insisted, is too difficult for high schoolers to grasp and will be taught instead at the university level. 
Moreover, Mr. Erdogan’s supporters note that debates over the teaching of evolution are hardly unique to Turkey, and have raged in other countries, including the United States. The theory of evolution is rejected by both Christian and Muslim creationists alike, who credit God with creating the planet and its creatures. Many religious conservatives in Turkey dismiss evolution as a reckless and unproven theory.

Yes, they vote "no" in Turkey ...

In 2010, then former state minister for family affairs, Selma Aliye Kavaf told Turkish newspaper Hurriyet, "homosexuality is a biological disorder, a disease ... something that needs to be treated." In 2013, Erdogan described homosexuality as a "sexual preference" that was incompatible with the "culture of Islam" in Turkey.

And so to the Devine ...

It takes some epic hubris to lecture others about seeing people as literally evil, given the way that the Catholic church routinely consigns sinners and gays to an eternity of hellfire, but that's the Devine for you ... right up there with the Turks ...

The pond isn't certain if choler is catching, but the Devine is full of it ...

The pond has no idea why anyone would want to indulge in a "whose got the biggest dick, or terrorist problem?", but there's the Devine for you ... joining with the Islamic fundamentalists in the matter of gay marriage, and then wondering about the Islamic fundamentalist mindset ...

Because, it goes without saying, Catholic fundamentalists are generally as fuckwitted as the average Islamic fundamentalist ...

At the end of it all, the pond felt the need for a cleansing cartoon from an alternative Pope, with more papal encyclicals here ...

That's better, but the pond isn't finished, because in medieval times, what was required was a triptych or a trinity of choler, and luckily the Terror editorialist has recently produced just the thing for a final howl of pain ...

Fuck, they never get tired of it, do they, the demonising and the casting of stones and the creation of enemies and the generating of fear and the harden the fuck up crap as if they were playing a gunnery sergeant in a Kubrick movie...

It's a nauseating maelstrom of malice, or as good old Burton might say, a wicked mix of melancholy and coleric ...

The biggest burden young people face? Why some of their parents might actually work for Chairman Rupert ... and think of the social disadvantages that might produce ...

My dad is a garbage collector.

Well that's a socially occupation and never mind the smell ...

My mum is a proctologist.

Well never mind the smell, she probably helps a lot of people deep in illness ...

My parent writes negative columns each week for the Murdochian press.

Oh you poor child, you're doomed, doomed ... truly, deeply, fucked and socially irredeemable and probably deep in the grip of a choler of the intestines ...

And now in celebration of Roger Corbett, back where the pond started this epic journey ...