Tuesday, September 26, 2017

In which the pond relishes the dead hand of Caterism ...



Every so often, the pond has a flicker of doubt about its arcane rituals ... a bit like those who wonder if the flesh and blood of god can only be in wafer if She's got the right level of gluten ...

But then the siren song of the Caterist lures the pond back onto the path of righteous belief.

Who could possibly argue with such a persuasive reptile?

The pond agrees that the state's dead hand enervates us ... and as the the google splash adds, extinguishes entrepreneurialism.

Too often the bludging paw, instead of getting out and about, reaches out for the soft teat of the state on which to suckle ...the mind is enervated, any thought of entrepreneurialism extinguished by the easy mark ...

No doubt the Caterist scribbles from bitter personal experience ...


Yes, it always helps to keep this ritual reminder within easy reach when it comes to the Tuesday Caterist reading... it's by far the best way for the irony level to reach peak surfeit overload ...


There in a nutshell is the dead hand of stupidity at work, and all because the Caterist sucks on the taxpayers' teat.

Actually, it's Malware's and the onion muncher's legacy that broadband in this country is fucked, but could the Caterist be expected to say this while supping on the largesse dripping from the government's ample table?

And there's another problem involving the dead hand of Caterist clich├ęs.

Whenever the pond steps into the world of the Caterist, it's like supping on a bowl of extremely soggy cornflakes ... or perhaps Weetbix, if you don't mind supporting companies wholly owned by the Seventh-day Adventist Church ...


Of course it's not the dictionary's job to keep up with the dead hand of mindless Caterism, and fair dibs, the "dead hand of something" does cover the average dead hand Caterist column ...and plenty of other "dead somethings" at the lizard Oz ...

The pond understands that it's the national sport of politicians and pundits to blame the previous government for everything that is currently wrong.

Does this hunting license ever expire? After all, the Liberal-National coalition has been in power since being sworn into office on the 18th September 2013. The pond didn't memorialise that moment eight days ago, but the Turnbull incarnation, with bonus Kiwi, is now into its fifth year ... and it's still enjoying the benefits of the insights regularly offered by the onion muncher.

Could any of this have anything to do with the way things are?

Does anyone vaguely remember Swannie, except perhaps for lovers of Bruce Springsteen? 

The dead hand of the necrophiliac Caterist does, as it bemoans the shameful, shocking waste of cash on meaningless futtocks ...



Indeed, indeed. But how can the pond argue with any of this? Outrageous interventionism by government has resulted in all kinds of blundering, lame and unimaginative beasts roaming around, without the sense to recognise their failures, let alone learn from them. The little they achieve comes at the expense of taxpayers, and is frequently outweighed by unintended consequences, such as the pillaging of Department of Finance funds ...




But as usual the pond digresses, and we should return to the dead hand of Caterism for a final digression ...



Indeed, indeed. How was de Tocqueville to know that a smug hypocrite like the Caterist, deep into the dead hand of modernist irony, would blather on like this while rummaging through the grants in aid section of the Department of Finance? Done it for years, without a moment's reflection or pause ...

And if that's not enough comedy for a Tuesday, there's always the benediction of the Pope, who can spot a gluten-laden wafer and a passing futurist at a dozen paces, with more blessings here ...



By golly, that coal-fired broadband-powered space vehicle offers the pond hope for the future ... but somehow that heroic figure has a shape and a colouring that is familiar ...



It is, it is, and he's showing us a vision, a Caterist dream ... a government grant looming on the horizon as a way of firing up that coal-powered, copper-connected, multinodal space vehicle...




2 comments:

  1. Aghhhhh!!! More like the dead head of neoliberalism. It's like an ancient religion where the beliefs cannot be challenged by the facts.

    Firstly, the choice of broadband as an example is baffling. No technical knowledge required, just 5 minutes on the intertubes (if you have them) will confirm that fibre is the gold standard. The first trunk fibres installed in the 80s are still operational & operating at a massive multiple of their original capacity. If kept away from backhoes they might last the same period again (25-30 years is just for bookkeeping purposes). Upgrades involve the black boxes not the fibre itself, so they are relatively easy to do. As for wireless, check here:
    https://nbnmyths.wordpress.com/why-not-wireless/

    Congestion problems with mobile coverage in recent years show how wireless problems pop up suddenly without much warning.

    Secondly, blaming state regulation for the GFC beggars belief. The whole disaster followed on from removing post depression regulations at the behest of neoliberal economists. It required a comprehensive historical revision of the Great Depression, basically, to unlearn all the main lessons of that event. If you read this pre-GFC article with the benefit of hindsight, especially the statements by the supporter of deregulation, you can decide for yourself:
    http://www.nytimes.com/1999/11/05/business/congress-passes-wide-ranging-bill-easing-bank-laws.html?sec=&spon=&pagewanted=1&emc=eta1

    If Cater was talking about distant events you could understand how the disinterested might be mislead, however, we all have shitty broadband & we all lived through the GFC We know what worked & what didn't - seriously weird to run this argument.

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  2. Not so "seriously weird", Bef, more just a standard wingnut usage of 'indirection'. Which is defined as: 'lack of straightforwardness in action, speech, or progression'.

    Or as it is more popularly expressed: "Nothing to see here. Oh look over there, pigeons !'

    But then again, there's no set of regulations ever conceived, or ever will be conceived, that allows for honest interaction while also keeping out all dishonest action. The human race is just infinitely persistent and ingenious when it comes to profiting from breaking the rules. It's the oldest and most persistent form of 'arms race' that humanity knows.

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