Monday, September 04, 2017

In which the pond frantically tries to connect to the Oreo ...

Say what?

We're back online but it drops out every so often, in a tantalising and teasing way? After three days on the NBN, it's a total fucking disaster?

But the pond has vital information for the Oreo ...

It turns out that whenever she writes about Anglo-Saxon culture she's got the wrong end of the prawn.

According to no less an expert than Hillaire Belloc, it was Iberian-Celtic culture that was at the heart of England.

Sure Belloc was a Catholic and therefore extremely unreliable, but he was a John Bull type, and as British as bootstraps, or the bootstrapping NBN fucking onion muncher, who is, it goes without saying, a Catholic too ...

Who could have imagined it was the Iberians all along?

And what's the Oreo up to today ... can the pond at least make touch with one of the reptiles, by Malware's totally fucking useless NBN, make a cry for help, a connection in the darkness of the analogue day?

Brilliant ... those images actually loaded ... can a tasty Oreo be far away? Can the pond linger inside the tent for just a few minutes more?

If those greenie liberals are walking to their doom, they must be on Malware's totally fucking useless NBN ...

There's no point in trying to comment. No time ... and the postie with the solution is still days away, and they shot the carrier pigeon the pond tried to hire.

It's all a greenie leftie big government Malware conspiracy, that's for sure ...

Well there's no point trying to surf the web to find a cartoon in this darkest and direst of hours. Is there a contingent bit of fun standing by?

But one thing's certain. Malware's got the pond's partner's vote for certain ... as a reward for wrestling with Telstra and modems and such like ...around the twelfth of never, when hell freezes over, or the NBN upgrades to carrier pigeons ...

It might also have given the world working broadband ... though the pond would settle for working broadband in Camperdown in the heart of allegedly a futurist digital city ...
Let us not count the ways the pond loathes Malware ... we could be here for generations, and the carrier pigeons still not arriving ...


  1. Hi Dorothy.

    Kludge; An ill-assorted collection of poorly-matching parts, forming a distressing whole.

    Ghunt it here ;

    Can easily emphasise and sympathise with your internet woes and the travesty that masquerades as a modern telecommunication package in Australia.

    Still kudos for battling on there in the boiler room to bring us the sweet taste of the Oreo. She truly is barking;

    Free-world people???? She does know the Cold War finished nearly 30 years ago?


  2. Telecommunications contingency planning in Australia - fixed line - 4g - 3g - stone tablet - despair.

    When Rudd ran out the nbn ahead of the 2007 election I had my usual reaction to politicians announcing nation-building projects, however, in retrospect it was something we just needed to get done. This mess will be the Turnbull/Abbott legacy. Tony was probably too dumb to understand but surely Truffles should have realised the chickens would be returning to the coop before the term was up. He is just more frightened of the Liberal right wing than the electorate.

  3. Oreo: "Economic downturns often precede the rise of iron-fisted leaders with austere personalities ..."

    Oh goody, we're going to get Pauline Hanson as PM. I just can't wait.

    The Oreo does obsessively push the reptile line that our world shattering retail electricity costs are all because of "green religion" though - a genuine element of the Conservative Catechism presently. Actually, of course, our electricity prices are a prime result of the rapaciousness of the electricity retailers which was unleashed upon us as part of the neoliberal 'privatisation religion'. Just ask the Grattan Institute for one. [ ]


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