Saturday, September 16, 2017

In which Polonius prattles about the need for an onion-munching hoop shooter ...


The lizards of Oz have been desperately trying to shore up Malware's feet of clay by insisting that he's still a dinkum member of the reptile club for bigots ...

But in the engine room of the nation where the hard yards are done, the judgement is severe. It's not that white men, or Malware can't do hoops ...


That was always a given ... (and sometimes it's wise to step back out of the picture so that the hoop shooter can take all the glory ...)

But just as Ann Coulter is in a deep state of grieving over the Donald, so too it takes an exceptional state of despondency to tear prattling Polonius away from abusing the ABC ...


Yes it's much worse than falling short of the hoop ... he's fallen short of being the onion muncher ...

Oh we all have our regrets and the pond was astonished and dismayed that the onion muncher has astonishingly suggested that perhaps munching on an onion might have been a miscue. 


That's amongst his biggest regrets? Wasn't that one of his biggest achievements?

Is there no end to these deep betrayals.

But there's always hope and as usual the lizard Oz splash missed the key point ...


Transform into the onion muncher, and still things might be set right, and all will be well in the world...and along the way, and to maintain pride and hope, Polonius might give a little history lecture in his usual way...


Is it possible for Polonius to ever go past the stating of the bleeding obvious? 

With that in mind, the pond thanks the reader who reminded the pond that actual trees have died so that Polonius's words might be distributed amongst the faithful ...



There you go, take a copy, download it, print it off, store it in the outdoor dunny, use it as a napkin or a serviette, wipe down the cat's mouth ... and never complain about the pond's willingness to give gifts to the world.

But does any of it amount to any more than a hill of beans and words in this troubled world of reptile blatherers?


Nope. Might it not have been possible to say it in short form and save a few trees?

How succinct it would have been if Polonius had simply said, "oh I do so miss the onion muncher, and I do so wish he was still around on the front bench, and in lieu of that, I do so wish that Malware might become the onion muncher, because there were never grander days than when the onion muncher could cheekily munch on onions, and make hay, and give good old honest coal the knighthood it deserves ..."

It's a kind of Donald yearning in reverse ... a kind of Ann Coulter Twitter storm in the wilderness, a warning to Malware that he must take communion with coal, or stand condemned as a heretic of the Donald kind ...


And it wasn't just Polonius who saw the need for Malware to renounce any talk of climate science as the only way to assert his legitimacy ...

The Oz editorialist was sounding unnervingly like Polonius. Malware must power up, or take the 30 poll fall ...


Ah, it's one of those tedious summaries seizing on some kind of day as an excuse to do an assessment of the incumbent ...


Two unimaginably tedious years of torture and incompetence, such that somehow comrade Bill looks like an option, in much the same way as not bashing the noggin with a piece of two be four seems like a way to cure a headache ...

Now will Malware's astonishing success at giving the country the broadband it deserves score a mention in the assessment?


He must improve to win future battles? 

Of course, that's code, because the reptile editorialist is channeling prattling Polonius ... what the reptile editorialist meant to say is that he must become more like the onion muncher and show an ability for nattering negativity and fuckwitted mindless slogans of the "Blackout Bill" kind, because the reptiles love fatuous stupidity, and the more simplistic it is, the better they like it ...


As for the NBN? Forget it, that's been comprehensively fucked. 

Job done and dusted, so no need to mention that. The job at hand is to talk nonsense about clean coal, to fuck the climate scientists and hopefully the planet ...


A climate warrior? Oh we can't have any of that silliness.

Core beliefs? Does a straw man, does a hollow man, actually need a core? And if he does, can it be built out of coal dust?

As usual, Rowe has captured the zeitgeist and shown the way forward - more Rowe here - with Malware doing his neigh-saying duties in the shadow of the smoke from the satanic mill ...



Now if Malware could only learn to munch onions, the prison and the transformation would be complete ...

2 comments:

  1. You see - it's not the sheer incompetence, the inability to cope with change, the pandering to vested interests - it's the lack of a "narrative", a little story bereft of facts that will appeal to the voter.

    This all seems very American to me, with it's underlying assumption that voters are too lazy or too stupid to follow a reasoned argument.

    I guess, when the facts don't go with you, this is all you have left.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And therein lies the problem with conservatives, Befud. They know they can't win the argument - any argument - rationally, so they resort to slogans.

      Delete

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