In which the pond gets out the cabbage and the sealing wax ...

(Above: an old Pope, but a most relevant one, and more Pope here).

With Dame Slap gone missing, and the uploading and the downloading and the yadda yadda an existential agony, the pond thought it was probably okay to cool down over lunch instead of trying to find a reptile to mock ...

But then it came, the surging, seething white heat of anger ... yes, it's the pond in ...

Good old Jimmy ...

It started slowly enough with the headline 'A dark day' for Turnbull as NBN abandons Optus cable network ...

But that's behind the Crikey paywall and the pond wanted to know more about this dark day, this blackest of hellhole days, as the Optus uploading and downloading and yadda yadda seems like a business plan for boosting tranquiliser sales ...

Pausing only for a revitalising restorative Pope cartoon ...

... the pond rushed off to Fairfax to read 'A lemon': NBN backflips, abandons plans to use Optus cables it purchased for $800 million ...

Sure enough, only another movie and a Pope cartoon could conjure up the right level of fury ...

Of course watching each upload take place in real time is like extracting teeth, or perhaps spending too long last year in Marienbad ...

This is the nub of it ...

...on Wednesday NBN announced it would abandon the Optus HFC rollout entirely and instead deploy a new technology, fibre-to-the-distribution-point (FTTdp), to up to 700,000 premises.

Acknowledging the Optus HFC network was not "NBN-ready", the company said FTTdp would provide a better customer experience and value for money than upgrading the old network. The leak of the Optus HFC documents - and subsequent leaks from within NBN - so angered the company that it lodged a referral with the Australian Federal Police last December.

And this was the lie ...

After the Abbott government came to power and pursued a multi-technology mix rollout, NBN renegotiated its deal with Optus so it could use its HFC network to deliver broadband services. "This deal will bring down the overall cost of building the NBN and enable us to complete the rollout much earlier than originally anticipated with less disruption to residents and communities," NBN chief executive Bill Morrow said in December 2014.

So why, in his litany of complaints about Malware this day, didn't the Bolter list the NBN as one of Malware's most epic achievements? If you regard sailing the Titantic into the iceberg as an epic achievement worth matching ...

Well that's because Malware was doing Abbott's bidding, degutting the notion of a wired nation, making horseshit of his mantra of agile, innovative and all the rest of the balderdash ...

The reptiles never wanted it, did their best to delay it, came to it only grudgingly. Tree killing newspapers had to be protected, and so did the Foxtel business model, and to hell with the rest of the world that might want to explore the full to overflowing intertubes, which certain people assured us was a revolutionary thing to do ...

Gizmodo's got more of the brand new, exciting and innovative horseshit 2.0 currently being bundled up here ...

From NBN’s chief network engineering officer Peter Ryan: “We have tested FTTdp over the last year and we’re confident we can now deploy the technology in areas where it makes better sense from a customer experience, deployment efficiency and cost perspective. This includes premises in the FTTN footprint that have too high a cost per premises (CPP) and premises served solely by the legacy Optus HFC footprint that are yet to be made ready for service… nbn has confirmed it will deploy FTTdp in those areas where the use of the Optus HFC network was planned, with the exception of the already launched network in Redcliffe, Queensland. 
 “The move to FTTdp was outlined in the 2017 Corporate Plan where we stated nbn’s overall HFC footprint would be between 2.5 and 3.2 million by 2020, with more premises being served by FTTN, Fibre-to-the-Building and FTTdp. These ranges reflect nbn’s flexible and technology-agnostic approach. HFC remains a highly valued part of our MTM deployment, however in balancing the requirements to convert Optus’s current network architecture and design to be nbn-ready, and the opportunity to introduce FTTdp, makes the new technology compelling in these selected areas.”

With the greatest respect, and in the politest way possible, Mr Ryan, the pond would like to suggest that you're a technology agnostic, flexible wanker of the first water ...

As if 2.0 horseshit offers anything better than horseshit 1.0.

This was of course part of the fuss of the 2015 leaked document ...(here) ... no wonder they wanted to stop the truth emerging, though in the way that some turds will float to the surface, the truth had to eventually emerge ...

Meanwhile, Malware thinks it's good politics to seize on the current situation in South Australia for political purposes - his thoughts on climate science gone the way his thoughts on a wired nation and SSM ... and his new best mate and chum is Chris Uhlmann ...seminarian and candidate for the Osborne Independent Group ...

What a dissembling disaster Malware is, and what a fraud that the reptiles keep on blathering on about 18C when they are perfectly free to talk about some of the real disasters Malware has perpetrated in his servile servicing of the onion muncher ... and all we hear is the sound of crickets and moans about 18C ...

Enough already, you servants of Satan, the pond has just enough strength to upload one final mighty Pope ...