The poor, poor reptiles. So befuddled and confused. Shorten a winner, Shorten a loser ...
And then there was the woeful economic statement, which should have been a slam dunk for the reptiles, and which should have produced a flurry of photoshopped front pages.
But they're easily distracted, like a kitten with a ball of knitting wool, these lazy reptiles ... see how they dropped it down the tree-killer front page ...
The tabloids were worse, those that even bothered to remember their duty ... see how it's shunted to the left, while other distractions rule ...
Show dogs? When we're confronted with a black hole the size of the universe?
Surely they could have done a deal with Disney and been able to whip up a spectacular front page?
Surely they could have done a deal with Disney and been able to whip up a spectacular front page?
Ah doona cover and sheet set, where are you now?
Even the reliable reptile commentariat sounded confused and conflicted ...
The diligent, tireless bouffant one was still at it, but the pond, with great regret, has to pronounce the reptile coverage this day an epic fail ...
And so naturally, the pond turned to a safe pair of hands.
If not a frisson about black holes, then surely a deep fear of the savage north and the Chinese will serve to get the pond's heart started.
And what's better than black coffee for the job? Why a straight serve, an undiluted shot of bromancer ...
And what's better than black coffee for the job? Why a straight serve, an undiluted shot of bromancer ...
Ah yes, what we need is a strong man, jumping up and down, shirt-fronting here, coat-hangering there, king hitting as required ...
And instead, sob, he's been sent to the corner to munch quietly on an onion or two.
Is it fair, is it right? Never mind, the wall puncher might be wearing the dunce's hat, but his bromancing chum maintains the shirt-fronting rage ...
What a relief that caretaker conventions mean diddly squat to the bromancer. Punch on, and never mind the fine print ...
The conventions broadly include the following: The Government will cease taking major policy decisions except on urgent matters and then only after formal consultation with the Opposition ...
And so on and so forth, and around this point, the pond had the overwhelming desire to insert a completely irrelevant joke...
The conventions broadly include the following: The Government will cease taking major policy decisions except on urgent matters and then only after formal consultation with the Opposition ...
And so on and so forth, and around this point, the pond had the overwhelming desire to insert a completely irrelevant joke...
You can find the rest of that cartoon here, and speaking of defence, at the same Graudian site you'll find this ...
Such a stupid man ... and that story in The West Australian here shows why ...
Neil James, of lobby group the Australian Defence Association, has been outspoken on issue of former military personnel using military imagery in election campaigns, warning it is vital in a democracy the military appears apolitical. “Such highly visible advertising, without any wider context or indeed other knowledge of the candidate, is particularly liable to be easily misconstrued as the ADF somehow endorsing that candidate or their political stance,” he said.
The trouble with Crusaders and proto-fascists is they never have a clue about the impulses that drive them. To think that the pond has to quote Neil James approvingly...
Meanwhile, there might be a few who wondered what happened to the bromancer, lathering up the fear ...
Fear not, the pond knows there's yards to be done, and two diverging roads can't be travelled, and we must return to the undergrowth and the one less travelled because, truth to tell, it won't make a whit or jot of difference ...
So thick, so impenetrably thick. There's an election going on. Surely, it's long and exceptionally tedious, and ridiculous and silly, but once called, there are conventions that kick in, rules and procedures to be followed ...
The pond can report with first degree Kevin Bacon awareness of the joys of public servants no longer required to talk directly with ministers. That's where the drift of the inevitable slowness of bureaucratic inertia is sitting right at the moment.
But then the Crusaders and the proto-fascists never really do understand the fears and impulses that drive them to dance up and down, and do an hysterical jig of fear ...
Sheesh, that the pond should have to defend the Turnbull government for acting properly ...
Has it come to this? Neil James and Malware on the one day?
Time for a Rowe cartoon to ease the gloom ... and more Rowe here ...
Oh Miss DP. I think a quote from Nathaniel is in order.
ReplyDelete“Perhaps I can make you understand. Let’s start from the beginning. A man is hired to give advice to the readers of a newspaper. The job is a circulation stunt and the whole staff considers it a joke. He welcomes the job, for it might lead to a gossip column, and anyway he’s tired of being a leg man. He too considers the job a joke, but after several months at it, the joke begins to escape him. He sees that the majority of the letters are profoundly humble pleas for moral and spiritual advice, and they are inarticulate expressions of genuine suffering. He also discovers that his correspondents take him seriously. For the first time in his life, he is forced to examine the values by which he lives. This examination shows him that he is the victim of the joke and not its perpetrator.”
Immortal!
DeleteI've got a suggestion for how the election can be determined: the pundits (mostly reptiles) add up who won each day on the campaign trail, and the winner is the one with the most daily wins. In the case of a dead heat, Chairman Rupert casts the deciding vote.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of which, has anybody heard from the Chairman lately? A muffled tweet on how the ice sheet extends for miles and miles perhaps? Or is he still lost somewhere in those long, damp, draughty corridors of the Hall of fame?
You're not really expecting to hear anything coherent from Rupert "Jerry built" Murdoch for a while are you ?
DeleteNot any more, GruBleen. My 89 year old father makes much more sense than him.
Deletehttp://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-05-23/brisbane-labor-candidate-asked-to-remove-army-uniform-billboards/7436770
ReplyDeletehttp://www.abc.net.au/news/federal-election-2016/guide/bris/
"Pat O'Neill
Labor Party
O'Neill is an openly gay army major who grew up in a small town in Central Queensland. He has spent the past seventeen years as an officer with the Australian army, serving two tours of Iraq. He holds a Masters of Defence and Strategic Studies from the Australian National University."
http://www.news.com.au/national/federal-election/labor-candidate-ordered-to-remove-billboards/news-story/ff326fac97d412afd89112c0c06cfbe6
Yes, and that's wrong too ... and if the pond had caught up with it, we would have run it alongside the foolish fop from the west ...as it is, those links will do nicely ...any time either side of the cosy duopoly gets into this stuff, they need a rap over the knuckles ...
DeleteA song for Arfur.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9k_ZRyws8Uc
These old boys are leading us somewhere - that is plain to see
DeleteI don't know much of nothing, still it troubles me
Got to find another way, this one ain't the way to go
Got to get a plan, change our ways or no
When this war is over it will be a better day...
J.J. Cale & Eric Clapton - When This War Is Over
Hi Dorothy,
ReplyDeleteYou can always rely on Sheridan to keep on banging the drum for US hegemony and that we must subsidise their military presence on Australian soil and also spend up in support of their ‘projection of power’.
Still finding a suitable threat to challenge the world’s only super power is often a stretch. 25 years ago it was another yellow peril that was a ‘critical threat’ to US and Australian interests and that was none other than …. Japan!
Back in the early 1990s and without a Soviet threat anymore, the growing economic power of Japan was deemed the new menace.
Right wing academics rushed to press with portents of doom like “The Coming War with Japan”;
https://www.foreignaffairs.com/reviews/capsule-review/1991-09-01/coming-war-japan
It was a best seller.
A leaked CIA report described the Japanese as ‘creatures of an ageless, amoral, manipulative and controlling culture’ who had ‘a shared national vision for world economic domination’.
Eek!
Unfortunately as we know the Japanese economy tanked and now labours in stagflation.
Hopefully for Sheridan, the Chinese will be made of sterner stuff and defence spending will 'have to' remain as high as possible for many years to come.
DiddyWrote
Great fun DW and then Sony ruined a Hollywood studio, so they won!
Delete